I have been married for 3 years now and for the last year getting my wife to want to have sex is a total chore. I have tried the random flowers the foot and back massages I've written her poems. I have tried everything I can think of to make her want me and short of a long night drinking she always says no. She says its because she feels fat and does not want me to look at her. Sure she has put on some weight since we got married but so have I and I could care less about the few extra pounds. Any advice on what I can do so I can have sex again. I'm not really looking foward to another year having sex only 6 times

 

If the romantic approach isn't working, maybe she's looking for something a little kinkier, or at least dirtier. Maybe you could watch some porn together, and think up some role plays to try out.

And while you're at it, join a gym and lose some weight together. Alternatively, tell her you've always had a thing for women who are built for comfort.

 

Wow, that is really lousy. Don't know what to tell you. My wife couldn't get enough sex. Sorry, but I have no advice for you.

 

If her issue is with her body's appearance than the easiest (well, simplest anyway) means of dealing with it is diet and excersize. And do it with her, don't just make her get in shape for you. Get a bit of a home gym or a membership to a local one and tell her you want to do it for her and she can join in if she wants.

Talking to her when she's a bit tipsy and her guard is down is another idea. Instead of just jumping on her (a strain, I know, after such a dry spell) try drawing her out about how she really feels about sex. You might also (this can really be an aggravating strain) try talking to her friends or sisters. Women will often tell each other things they will never tell you, and the person they do tell may pass you the info, either to help make things better or just because she's feeling a bit catty.

 

Rape, and then blame it on her!

 

No SEX !!

Dude she is getting dick some where else !! Or she is on a pysico trip !!
You pick !! Ex-wife started that shit !! I cought a dude up in my home !!

For legal resones !! Ha ! Ha ! lets just say he was very clummsy leaveing my home !! He seemed to keep bumping into the door jab while going out the door !! funnest thing I ever seen !! Ex-wife seeemed to want to follow his butt naked ass down the street !! Some how she got naked and ran after him !! What a woman in love will do for her B/F !!
And some how the doors to the house all got locked & bolted .. It was like right out of a Harry Potter Movie !!

 

Hit the gym and get addicted to it. You wouldn't have to worry about not getting sex.
My dear its the flab that you carry around that makes you look gross!!

 

wtf

I agree completely... and if she doesn't wanna fuck... kick her the fuck out find a real woman. You shouldn't have to work so hard for sex fuck that

 

You know, some of you guys are real assholes. This is a serious question and the dude does not know what to do.

Having lived in an almost sexless marriage for the last 7 of 23, our reasons are primarily menopause now, but we did have some other problems. That needed therapy. Unfortunately menopause came at the same fricking time, and ...well it is all I bitch about. Nuff said.

My suggestions follow Kimi's, and or, therapy for both of you. Next choice at your age is divorce and find someone new.

 

Here,s what I say, tomorrow morning and a few times a weeks early in the morning both of you get up extra early and go for a hour walk around the block together, talk, bullshit and so forth.

When you get home take a long hot bath or shower together and rub each other down with soap, later in the evening you cook a nice dinner for her
and rent a movie that she will like and watch it together.

Continue the routine for a month or so and see what happens.

 

Be a man!

Go out and get a girlfriend. She's fucking around on you anyways.

 

On the lighter side:::When my wife won't have sex with me I take a bath. It works every time (LOL)

 

Sounds like she may have self esteem issues about her weight. If she wants to lose weight, I would help her if I was you. But don't make her feel like you think she needs to lose weight. Let her know you still find her attractive.

I wish I had better advice. Maybe see a counselor?

 

Women dont marry a guy and then just shut off the faucet just because she gained a pound or two.She is either getting it on the side or you have married a real nut case. Alot of women gain weight and dont go cold....something aint right in your world dude...sorry but its the truth.

 

Thank you all for the out pour of responses. Just to set the record straight she is not fat I am not fat (not thin either but we could both lose 20 pounds but then again most american could lose 20 pounds and be okay). She is not cheating on me she is not the type the guilt would kill her and there is no chance I would ever cheat on her. I was mostly just looking for some advice from people who like sex as much or more than I do. I was kinda hoping someone would have an answer that I had not seen before. I just see so many couples on here that are happy with their sex lives and that is all I want.

 

Lissen old man, time for family counseling with a sex counselor. Either that or prepare to say goodbye or live a life of celibacy.

 

i know this aint original advice, but the only thing you can do here is communicate with her, tell her how much you miss intimacy with her and this lack of sex is putting strain obn your loving marraige, say you want to be married to her for her and not for the sex, but a man cant liove with sex counted on almost 1 hand for an entire year when shes ltying beside him every night looking and smelling good...it just isnt healthy!

 

Does she have any toys? If not, try to buy her one. Find out what kind she likes and give her some privacy to use it. The problem could be that she grow up in a home where sex is very tabo and never realy got at sexual appetite build up.
Also if her problem is you seeing her, try blindfolding yourself. It might be fun for you and gives her a chance to trust herself more.


I feel for you man, I had a girlfriend once who was a virgin when I met her and took a long time to warm up. But after warming her up to it and teaching her the basics, the sex I had with her was some of the best I've ever had.