Im confused here...been with my one and only gf ever for over a year now, started having sex about 3 months ago, and very rapidly the time and date of sex became 110% based on her decision. About once every 7-8 days she'll want to have sex, which means about 3 times a month...other times of the week there is plenty of time to have sex, yet after I face countless rejections towards the notion of being intimate, ive just given up. I dont even try to have sex anymore because I just get myself excited with the idea and then get shot down. I dont try because if we had sex last wednesday and its now the following tuesday, i realize that at some point tomorrow, she'll be in the mood and come onto me so whats the point of trying anymore. Other times in the week she will consistently tease me, and then when i go along with it....again is shot down. My question is
-Since when did sex become so clockwork?
and
-Why dont I seem to have any say in when we have sex?

any ideas on how to change this? I want to be spontaneous without being shot down rather than looking at the calender and going "well i guess its that day"

 

sounds like she could have been cheating behind your back lol but who knows

 

Well, first off, you might want to put off popping the question.

But seriously...couples need to WORK on keeping their sex lives exciting. That means both of you. It needs to be spontaneous. It needs to be dynamic, surprising, innovative, exciting. She doesn't appear to want to work on it, and to me, that's like one of those wig-wag signals you see at railroad crossings going off. You should let her know that it's getting to be like brushing your teeth -- part of your routine. And not in a good way.

 

it seems really unfair for you to have to wait for her to want to have sex, it should be mutual. i dont understand why she would only want to do it "3 times a month"

you need to talk to her about it before you do anything else and explain how you feel. maybe there are some underlying problems.

hope everything works out hun.

 

Consider yourself lucky; at least at some point (as you put it), she'll come on to YOU!! I don't even get that.

There's no affection in my house; if I want sex, she'll oblige but I'm tired of being the one to always initiate it. Once in awhile, I'd like her to show some interest in me, I'd like her to show some affection towards ME!

 

Poor baby....we'll just have to take care of that little problem...after she's gone to sleep. Have to be quiet, though.

 

I don't know how quiet I can be if you're going to have your way with me!! Let's find some place more private where we can make all the noise we want!! :rose::rose:

 

*whispering softly* Mmmm, but it's more exciting when your wife might wake up any second....don't you think? *bending forward and taking your stiff, aching cock into my mouth, my lips gliding wetly down the thick shaft*

 

MMMMMMMMMMMM............you always say the sweetest things....and DO the sexiest things!! :rose::rose:

 

Mmmm-hmmmm....*looking up at you as my head slowly bobs, making soft slurping sounds as I suck on you, my tightly rounded lips gliding up over the crown of your cock each time, my fingernails lightly caressing your heavy balls*

 

MMMMMMMM........they're tightening up as your nails drag across them!! See how smooth they are, I shaved them just for you!!

 

*raising my head, smiling and drooling a long, silvery strand of saliva* Shhhh....*bending down and caressing your balls with my wet tongue as I stroke your slippery cock with my fingers*

 

mmmmmmmmmm......running my fingers through your hair....hoping you never stop this exquisite sensation!

 

Camo,

I am 49 yo, I have been married twice and this marriage is 13 yo. I hate to say this but this is what happens with the exception of rare cases. All I can say is try new things. Introduce toys, movies, stories, bondage (light bondage), maybe a girl or a guy (ask her her thoughts first). If she refuses all of this, you don't have much a of a chance.

I really hate saying that but its the absolute truth. The fact remains.. don't give up lightly because I have and it means a GF. I had every advance and every suggestion crapped on so I just went out and got a GF because I can't live without my kids.

If you have to, pour bottle of wine and then ask her what she needs to spice it up. My first wife and I went into a slump and pulled it out by bringing in other people.

 

sex went boring soon as i married the bitch

 

Kimiko has it right. A varied sex life takes a need for compromise and sometimes experimentation on both side.
My wife and I have been together 31yrs, married 28 of them.
We still enjoy spontaneous and exciting sex, but more often than not it is slow, languid, sexual and loving.
We have had one running joke through the years. We keep count of how many orgasms we feel we are owed by the other person.
At the moment my wife owes me 5 and I intend to collect all in one session.
It becomes a competition to out perform each other, so it is never boring, and over the years we have both discovered many techniques to try and out do each other to make each other cumm first.

 

Since I do not know what is going on in your lives, I cannot give you any definitive answers. However, YOU may want to look around and see what's going on. Let me tell you about my own personal situation.

First off, OICU8692 has a point. After a while, sex gets to be routine. I've been with my husband for 17 years now and it went "stale" within the first year. Once we moved in together and had the opportunity to have sex any time we wanted, it no longer seemed like it was so important. Kimi also has a very valid point. Once it gets stale, you have to work at it. I'm lucky to have a man who is very willing to try new things. He was actually the one who introduced me to all the wonderful toys I now own.

As I was saying, you also need to look to see what is going on in your lives right now. Have you recently moved in together? Someone switched jobs? Is she in school? Are there children involved? Did someone recently (and by that I mean within the last 2 years) pass away? Is someone sick? For me, I have 3 young children and am in college full time. I have a husband to take care of, a house to take care of, my own homework and exams, I'm having to help 2 school age children with their homework each night, plus laundry and extracurricular activities that require me to be a full-time driver. We are a one income family right now while I try to finish up my degree. There is never enough money to pay the bills and everyone in the household is stressed. As you can imagine, sex is not something that either one of us really think about on a regular basis. Me even less than him because I have a much larger workload than he does.

Basically, there are a lot of things that could be going on to make her not want sex as much. Not just stress and outside factors, but hormonial imbalances and side-effects of medication. My best advice is to talk to her to see if something is bothering her. Innitiate new ideas into the relationship. If you don't ask, you'll never know. And remember that relationships have to be worked at all the time. Ask anyone who has been together for more than 2 years. And the longer you are together, the more you have to work at it.

Hope this helps a little.

 

Sorry to be blunt,but..........

1. You might not be "lighting her fire.

2. Dump her. There are lots of women in the world.

 

Rather than dump her (which you probably should do) I suggest you push the limits of your relationship to the point where the situation either improves or she is forced to dump you.

Think of something that you have always wanted to do, such as tying her up, or being tied up, or pissing on her, or slapping her around, or sticking her feet in your mouth, or whatever you are into, then do it happen. Walk a fine line- be aggressive without ending up on the sex offender's registry.

She will either feel like the relationship is spiced up and give up the pussy more often, or she will dump you which confirms that you are incompatible.

Be proactive and look at this as an oppurtunity. You have a chance to spread your sexual wings in a nonconsequential situation, seeing as how you two are heading for a breakup anyhow.

 

to give a little more detail...
just 2 college students 21 yrs old, live in the same dorm building and she is without a roommate(which should be perfect for sex at any time).
No issues or problems, we get along great, always taking care of eachother, i know shes not cheating, i see her often throughout the day and before going to sleep. Dumping isn't gonna work, despite the sex issue shes still my world right now. sometimes i wonder if its physical appearance. I wonder if it can be that shes on birthcontrol cuz that Ive heard can kill sexdrives.

I am a very verbal person and am able to talk things through with her, however bringing up this issue is a little more difficult. I dont want to bring it up and then we just have sex more for the my sake. Im not really sure how to go about changing this. When I try to step up and just sweep her off her feet, I often get a light tap on the hand and am told to "be nice" or "behave"