Have you ever read something in a story and said to yourself, "that shit doesnt happen like that!" I have all the time, and I decided to take advantage of it. Im doing a parody story about all the stereotypes writers use in their stories, and I was wondering if you guys knew a few that I might have overlooked. if you can help thanks, if not, thanks anyway.

These are the ones I already have...

-big ass unnecessary titties
-stupid big cocks
-door is always open just enough to see in (hate that one)
-the author always says "so and so are very close"
-no recovery time needed after sex for the guy
-girls are pros at everything their first time and always swallow
-someone is always on vacation the first time main characters have sex
-the guys always seem to "lap at" the girls pussy (really hate that one)

This is all I have, again thanks for your help.

 

- When an author introduces the characters and gives technical and/or numerical descriptions of a woman or man's anatomy.

- Women like everything that is done to them

- Both the man and woman mutually orgasm everytime they fuck.

- How about the guys in stories who only need to touch or rub a certain area for a woman to orgasm I never understood that.

- Anytime a guy "fingers" a woman. What exactly are they fingering?


I hate the no recovery time one too. Unless the guy just hit puberty last week, there's no way he's blowing his load several times in an hour:excited:

 

I'm guilty on big breasts. It's just a fetish I've been stuck with since I discovered my pee pee. I don't much care for the measurements or fruit sizes. I also don't like the big breasts that poke straight out without any sag. Unless maybe it's a space flight SF story. No, on second thought, not even in outer space.

I don't care for the sudden independent wealth or mommy leaving or worse yet dying.

I can put up with a lot if the story's interesting and anything goes in comedy for me.

Good thread.

 

all on your list have bugged me too. This inspired me to write. My guys can't cum 10 times in a row, 3 minutes apart...lol...and yes the girls with tight pussy's moan to go slow...like ssalo said, a touch of humor I like. "He walked into a lamp post looking at her tits and ass.".....

 

All this random unprotected sex and no disease or pregnancy... though some people manage to cover that...

 

it almost makes me stop reading every time a door is "slightly ajar" or "open just enough to see in," i mean come on, the first thing you do when you know youre about to fuck someone or masturbate is close the door, and usually lock it, especially if theres other people in the house!

 

-Women love anal on the first try

-Semen always tastes good no matter what

-50 year old mom has pussy tighter than a virgin

a lot of the ones already mentioned really bug me too

 

good !

 

Don't be too harsh in your judgement

We are merely amateur hackers, without great imaginations and sometimes living out our fantasies.

So our women will often have the bodies of our dreams, will respond to our rampant masculinity and expertise with incredulous glee; they will find that we lift them to heights they had never dreamed of with their previous insensitive, inexpert and minutely endowed lovers; that former inhibitions re anal, deep-throating, swallowing are swept aside in their uninhibited reactions to us, their perfect men.

Their sexual demands will become incessant, they will risk discovery in order to taste yet again the delights of our fore-arm sized cocks. Frigid women, lesbians, rape victims, mothers and sisters, cousins, baby-sitters, the pastors' wives and virginal daughters will caste aside their upbringing, their moral codes and natures as well as their clothing to get their hands, their pussies, their mouths and their asses around our perfectly shaped and gigantically proportioned masculinities.

Possibly the most overused, certainly the most abused are incest and pre-pubescent girls. These create their own sense of the illicit and forbidden, the new and the first time without requiring any effort from the author in creating sexual tension.

But as someone once wrote (I think) "Tread softly because your tread on my dreams".

 

MT-

This isn't the first time you've made me feel small and shallow and I thank you for your insights and example.

 

My biggest pet peeve is every single guy in every story is always in great shape. Muscles & they play sports. Always got a big cock. Everytime. Boring.:-~

 

Oh hell, my detractors are right, I am the worst writer on the planet .

Oh well, back to writing just for me and putting up the lame efforts to piss off the good writers.:excited:

 

Yes, a lot of cliches where sex stories are concerned. And while they do get redundant and sometimes hilarious, you have to consider a few things. First, unless a man is a chubby chaser, do you really want to read a story about a 35 year old woman who has birthed 3 children, whose upper thighs jiggle just a little, whose stomach is round and protruding slightly, whose perfect size C cup boobs shriveled up a full cup size after breast feeding her last infant, whose labia minora has ripped down from the clitoral hood giving her a lovely "hair-lipped" appearance, and whose vagina muscles no longer grip a man's cock like a vice but are a bit relaxed? Likewise, does a woman want to read about a 50 year old baulding man with a beer belly, whose once rock hard cock no longer stands straight up and is barely five and half inches when fully hard?

The reason why sex stories are full of perfection when it comes to the human anatomy is because, like Mark says, these are fantasies. Who fantasizes about the chunky housewife next door with the sagging breasts and stretched out vagina? Who fantasizes about the baulding neighbor with the pot belly and hair growing out of his ears? While I'm sure that there are -some- people who do, most people fantasize about the perfection that they could not have in real life.

Now as far as "circumstances" go of slightly opened doors and never pregnancy or STDs with all the unprotected sex, those stories hardly seem real. But again, these stories are meant as fantasies. If you come across one that does not end in happily ever-after and the circumstances actually make sense and not one of the cookie-cutter sterotypes, chances are that those stories had more to them than just sex in the first place. Then again, a lot of these stories are meant to be whims of fancy, not great literature. I'd like to think that I manage to create something that has a bit of both, but then again, I think I am a delusional writer who writes for the sheer joy of creating something new.

 

Whilst I agree with some of the posters on this thread that too much realism detracts from the fantasy, the OP is after a bit of friendly help for a parody - you haven't mentioned some of the obvious plot cliches, like the plumber/electrician/builder (and probably his young apprentice) coming round to fix the broken toilet/fusebox/roof/etc of the (always gorgeous) housewife, who always manages to be in full make-up, and dressed only in sexy lingerie and a silk kimono (just like we all always are when we're doing the housework).

 

There's always, ALWAYS! a betrayal of trust. guy cheats on girl, girl cheats on guy, guy has an orgy with every female memeber of girl's close family, guy works for like 10 hours and girl willingly gets gangbanged by every minoriety, and they always get away with it and laugh at the betrayed partners' stupidity for trusting them. It gets a bit predictable, switch it up a bit, blackmail a guy into becoming a girl's loveslave, girl reverse rapes a guy and he becomes a pussy-slave. Something! How about instead of the nice guy walking away in tears, he gives the girl a bat to the face,and vice-versa.

 

really good

 

You make some good points, of course not everyone has to write about a balding guy or overweight girl for it to seem fantasy, but does the person have to come from Utopia every time? I understand some stereotypes cant be avoided but come on. Why does he/she always have to be picture perfect? Theres nothing wrong with a woman with average B tits, small curves, a nice round ass and a pretty face, maybe even with glasses, or a guy with normal height, in shape but not bodybuilder with an average cock? When so many people follow the same cliches time and time again it gets old, and makes all the stories seem repetetive.

 

True, too much realism messes with the fantasy, but not enough makes it too fake. Yes you are right, everytime I go to my neighbors house shes in a bubble bath and needs help washing her back Some stereotypes are necessary, but I'm looking for the more ridiculous ones.

 

Your points make sense, but many readers and writers are in fantasy land when they're on this site.
For what it's worth I don't think the guys have to be body builders or Jonny Depp look-alikes or hung like a stallion. In fact most women I've had the pleasure of knowing don't seem to rate those highly - thank goodness.
But the women? Well all I can suggest is that you try with a lovely (emotionally) lady who is a shade overweight, has an imperfect complexion and facial features and sags in some the wrong places and doesn't come all that easily - in fact like 95% of woman kind. Bless every one of them.
It'll be true to life, but will it smoke your readers' tires? A quick look at the video and picture parts of this and other porn sites shows what porn surfers are looking for.

Cliches in the plot? Sure they're there for several reasons. First, not all of us writers are gifted with vivid imaginations and will cheat by borrowing. But even Shakespeare didn't have a single original plot. Second, a good proportion of readers are just interested in the straight sex and the faster you get to it, however cliched, the better.

But as one who has striven within limited abilities to avoid at least some of the cliches, to add some plot, maybe achieve some non-stereotypical characters and to have a build up rather than than leap straight in, I have been very pleasantly surprised by the favourable reader response to longer stories.

However I do share your views and did write my own parody "A Brother's Revenge"
http://stories.xnxx.com/story/23602/A_Brother's_Revenge

This took about 10% of the time to write that my more "serious" stories take, was quite successful at the start, but is now my most read story. I'm not too proud that I sunk towards the lowest common denominator.

Go for it and good luck! I'm looking forward with anticipation.

 

As usual, well said MT. I think that, as both a reader and a writer, other people keep using these cliches because it seems to bring in the readers. In other words, these same plotlines keep popping up because they are working. Until the general interest shifts, they are going to continue to bring in the readers. And once that happens, writers will drop these cliches and pick up the new ones that are being 'written' into the ground.

I personally try to make my characters seem as 'real' and 'believable' as possible, even when dealing with supernatural elements. I tend to go for woman who are short with small breasts and either overly round hips and round stomach or extremely slender to the point that they do not really have "curves." My men are not usually very tall either, normally 5'8" or a few inches over/below. I do not lean towards the bodybuilder types but rather an average build that is nicely built but not overly muscularly. One of my favorite characters, a vampire by the name of Stealth, is 5'8 or 9", of mixed asian heritage, and an athletic-like build (read that as being well defined without being bulky). To make my characters seem more well rounded, they tend to be flawed in some way emotionally or psychologically. However, neither my storylines nor my characters are bringing in nearly the amount of reads that these cliched plotlines seem to bring.

Anyway, good luck with the story.