You measured??

 

It's in use - Cupcake's feeling suicidal

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So Gi Joe had a bigger weapon, who'd a thought Barbie was so shallow?

 

My mama taught me two important things:

1. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. (Sorry mom, I really try.)

2. Size matters.:excited:

 

Sindy was more my kind of doll.....

 

MATTEL: Thank you for calling Mattel. This is Leslie, how can I help you?

HARGRAVE: I have a complaint about a Barbie doll.

MATTEL: OK, I can help you with that. Can you tell me the product number you have?

HARGRAVE: It's the Happy Birthday Barbie Doll.

MATTEL: And what's the problem with the doll?

HARGRAVE: I got her home and disrobed her, only to find out her body is just smooth molded plastic.

MATTEL: [Pause] Her body is smooth molded plastic.

HARGRAVE: And I read that she was supposed to be "anatomically correct."

MATTEL: No. I'm sorry sir, we don't make anatomically correct dolls.

HARGRAVE: She looks like a hood ornament. And I was disappointed, because I don't know how young girls are supposed to learn about the female figure from this toy. Do you know what I mean, Leslie?

MATTEL: No sir. I don't have a clue. I'll be glad to pass your concerns along, though.

HARGRAVE: Are you going to send me a Barbie that is truly anatomically correct?

MATTEL: No sir. As I mentioned to you, we don't make an anatomically correct doll.

HARGRAVE: Would you consider making one in the future?

MATTEL: No sir.

HARGRAVE: Don't you make customized Barbies?

MATTEL: No we don't, sir.

HARGRAVE: I think you do sell personalized Barbies.

MATTEL: We used to have a doll you designed yourself on the Internet, and that doll is no longer available.

HARGRAVE: Have you ever seen a nude woman?

MATTEL: Pardon me, sir?

HARGRAVE: I said, if you've ever seen a nude woman, their anatomy does not look like this! There are markings, and hair, and other discolorations!

MATTEL: [Pause] Well sir, I'll be glad to pass your comments along.

HARGRAVE: So you don't sell one with the breasts and genitals drawn in properly.

MATTEL: No sir, we do not.

HARGRAVE: Do you think one of your factory workers would be able to draw them in with a Sharpie?

MATTEL: No sir, we won't be willing to do that for you.

HARGRAVE: Please?

MATTEL: No sir.

HARGRAVE: She is so pretty. She would be even prettier with all three holes. That's all I'm saying.

MATTEL: [Complete silence]

HARGRAVE: Listen, Leslie. She has pretty blond hair.

MATTEL: Sir, I can't help you anymore. And I'm going to disconnect this call now.

HARGRAVE: If I were to trim just a bit of her luxuriant hair, and delicately glue it to her pubic region, would that be OK with you?

MATTEL: Sir, I'm going to disconnect this call right now. Goodbye.
​

Then she disconnected me. Very disappointed in Mattel. I didn't even get to the questions about Ken, and his lack of a man-dong.

Then I thought: someone should try to make a man-dong for Ken. And that someone should be me.

 

Meanwhile, up in the bathroom...

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:-~
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Stop playing with your food young lady.

 

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The police found Barbie was wanted in another state, too.
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I'm loving this thread tonight 8)

Incidentally, did you know it's Barbie's birthday today?


From rotten.com;

Feb 13 1959

The first Barbie Doll is introduced by Mattel in California.

 

Ever wonder why Barbie is always so perky?

The one type of Barbie that Mattel has so far chosen not to make is a premenstrual Barbie.

New York Times columnist Anna Quindlen recently brought this to my attention.

“She’s said by her manufacturer to be 11 and one-half stylish inches tall,” Quindlen wrote in September.

“If she were a real live woman, she wouldn’t have enough body fat to menstruate regularly,” she continued.

Well, I found out Barbie is no longer exempt from the curse – she does have periods. I was walking down the aisle of my favorite toy store recently, looking for that perfectly coiffed, angel-faced, leggy pretend-woman doll that lights up my life. I wanted to add another Barbie to my collection.

“Let’s see,” I murmured. “Which will it be? Camp Barbie? Malt Shoppe Barbie? Earring Magic Barbie?”

Just then, something gruesome caught my eye from the next shelf, and I whirled around in the hopes that I was imagining what I just saw.

“No, it can’t be,” I gasped. But it was true. There she was – “PMS Barbie.” The first tragedy was that the box wasn’t its usual hot pink – it was dull gray. And it only got worse from there.

The box happened to be color-coordinated to match the circles under Barbie’s normally sparkling blue eyes – in which there now was no sparkle at all. Depression was obvious.

And I hate to be unkind, but, uh, Barbie seemed, well, bloated.

Her expression was like that of someone with a major chip on her shoulder. She looked mean, like Linda Blair in “The Exorcist.” (Any man could appreciate Ken’s dilemma.)

Her hair was pulled shabbily up in a clippy at the back (and I’m not sure, but it appeared her roots were showing). Her bangs were flat and lifeless, and she was pale-faced – not a trace of blush on those chiseled cheeks.

I began to empathize with PMS Barbie when I saw her outfit: a mismatched pair of socks, a baggy pair of too-laundered sweat pants and an old flannel shirt with a moth hole above her left breast pocket.

On her feet (in addition to the mismatched socks) was a pair of flip flops (shower shoes). Barbie’s unparalleled fashion sense was in the dumpster.

Sticking curiously out from beneath her disheveled shirt was an electrical cord. “What on earth?” I thought. Then I noticed the writing on the box: “Comes complete with Barbie’s own heating pad!”

Inside the box, taped to a lower corner, was a cellophane bag of accessories, including a tiny vial of Midol, a box of chocolate-covered cherries, a Sara Lee cheesecake, and a tube of Pringles.

I’m sure that underneath there, invisible to the consumer’s eyes, Mattel also included another box of accessories, you know, the kind that Barbie sends Ken out to the grocery store to pick up.

I grabbed the box and stared in disbelief at this pitiful Barbie. I turned the box over. On the back was a scene of Barbie in PMS-mode: wrapped in an old oversized robe and sitting in an easy chair, her knees pulled up to her chest, an opened box of chocolate-covered cherries on the end table, and a television remote control in her hand.

In the background, a nervous-looking Ken was peering from the door of the kitchen. Looking at the box, I couldn’t decide whether to bring PMS Barbie home with me – she would be such an outcast in my collection.

All the other Barbies in my closet would look down their beauty queen noses at her in disgust and horror – they would realize she had to gain (gulp) weight! Otherwise, she couldn’t have enough fat on her body to have periods in the first place.

Well, PMS Barbie is now in my collection, but she is alone in her own closet all to herself – none of the others can stand to be around her.

I’ll probably take her out once a month to commiserate – but I think her cheesecake is going to be a bad influence.

Maybe in another 10 years, Mattel will have Barbie become a menopausal grandmother – complete with tiny glistening sweat beads from hot flashes. Her accessory kit: a portable face fan and a vial of estrogen therapy tablets.

 

Barbie is the same age as me - never mind PMS, she must be menopausal!

 

Noooo!! I was making a funny!!! Ken and GI Joe are not anatomically correct. I don't even know if they have bulges or not, but if they did, GI Joe's was probably bigger.

 

Hehe - didn't think so. You would need a micrometer

 

Ha! It's my sister's birthday, too. I got to name her, but if I had known it was also Barbie's birthday, she might've ended up named Barbie!!

 

There's one in the shop, but my Ken doll's been long gone and I never had any GI Joe's!!

 

I wasn't really into dollies - I preferred playing boys games

 

Somehow Ken always ended up on top of Barbie for some reason...