My roommate with his gf of 3 years is doing a long distance thing with her. On several occasions, he has become very "close" with other college girls, receiving lap dances from topless girls and friends but refusing to kiss or hook-up with them. Just curious, I know its different for everyone, but where would you draw the line at what constitutes as cheating?

For some girls, they find it unloyal if a guy watches porn...which i know wouldnt be a problem for the people here. Is the line drawn when something physical happens? Is it if your partner dances at a club with someone else? Is it when something emotional comes into play? I've even heard of some married men having web sex with other women online.

I just feel as though receiving lap dances from topless girls and being physical with other people without hooking up is kind of a lame excuse of a "loophole"

 

There is nothing wrong with letting your boyfriend watch porn, go to strip clubs, or dance with someone. But I do not allow kissing, touching (boobs & pussy), and fucking.
I'm not sure what to say about a lap dance, never had that problem.

 

It's lapdances now but it might become blowjobs later, then even full blown vaginal penetration...

Long distance doesn't work very often, he might not be cheating yet but if he keeps thus up he will be soon

 

How is a lap dance considered cheating? :/

 

Carry notes into class during an exam, looking up answers on a Blackberry, sneaking a peak at a textbook, asking your neighbor, etc.

 

Hooking up with a guy from a porn forum usually constitutes cheating, especially if he/she has a significant other!

 

For me it depends on your partners idea of what constitutes cheating. What I think is irrelevant if she decides it was, you know? Having said that, for me my partner can have sex, cyber, chat, cam, as long as it is just sex. For me cheating is when you go past the physical and start sharing your heart and feelings with someone other than your one true love, especially if you share information that you intentionally don't share with your SO.

 

I think it makes a big difference whether or not you are doing what you're doing behind your significant other's back or doing what you are doing with his/her knowledge and consent, regardless of what it actually is that you're doing.

 

Cheating includes and is limited to [for me]

Physical sexual contact
Oral, intercourse, manual penetration, or caressing/fondling intimate areas

Emotional involvement
I.E.: Falling in love with the person outside of the current relationship

Verbal misconduct
I.E.: Claiming love for the one not in the current relationship with you; promises of forming an intimate relationship with the other person while already in a relationship

Hiding any or all of it, even if innocent- is cheating to me.

 

Telephone sex, therefore, would not be cheating for you. Either giving or receiving.

Thinskin

 

Humans are by nature polygamous. So you can never cheat!

 

well this is a talk that your friend should have with his long distance girlfriend as it varies from person to person and each relationship no matter how serious is goin to have its own boundaries, for instance my wife loves hearing about the women i flirt with on a day to day basis and doesnt think anything is cheating really as long as she knows about it and im not fallin in love with another woman. Have i slept with another woman with my wife not present? Nope. But me and her have decided our boundaries and what we are comfortable with, as should everyone in a serious relationship this guys long distance girlfriend might even like the idea of him gettin a lapdance you shouldnt judge a private aspect of someone elses relationship. The only time you should be worried is if he specifically tells you not to mention something to his girlfriend really that means hes not supposed to be doin that. otherwise leave him be.

 

Unfortunately, there is no one, set standard that defines cheating in this situation. It depends on the couple and it varies from person to person. The only thing that matters is how the couple defines cheating. The problem comes when they don't agree on the definition; if two people in a relationship are using different definitions for cheating, then one of them is going to get hurt and pissed off! That would usually be the person with the higher (or tighter) standard.

What he said, especially the part in bold print (he said it better than I).

Of course, it's entirely possible that your roommate and his g/f have had this discussion and agreed to a definition. If that's the case, he already knows if he's "cheating" on her or not by HER definition. You could ask him but he'll probably tell you the same thing I'm going to tell you; it's really none of your business. :excited:

knoxvillain also summed it up nicely in his post above.

That's my 2 cents!! :excited::excited:

 

A lapdance, if nothing more than a lapdance isn't sexual to me. Unless I feel emotionally attached to the person giving, I can't fathom yearning for someone who is getting paid to dance. Maybe I'm just getting old but there isn't a thrill until I form a bond with the person.

I would consider all types of sex involving a second person (or third, fourth, fifth, etc) cheating. Kissing, to an extent isn't sexual. The extent is that it remains as social as smoking a cigarette, having a drink at a bar, or attending a concert; unless it is used preemptively to coerce into something more.

Going on cam with a woman other than one's SO is cheating, when it is for a sexual purpose and/or when a sexual theme is implied.

Overtly flirting in front of your SO with someone else is cheating.

Lying about having cheated when you are in fact guilty is...cheating.

These are my opinions at the moment :grin:

 

True, guilt is an awesome indicator of whether you are cheating or not as well. If you wouldn't tell the one true love of your life what you are doing if they asked, you may want to re-think it.

 

If he cums, its cheating.

 

Anything you do, that you wouldn't do if your partner was there.

 

Cheating, is set inside your relationship.

kissing another person may not be cheating to some couples..but to other's it deffinatly is.

meaning, what I think is cheating, may not be cheating to you.

 

Exactly.

 

IMO porn is also cheating, but a lot of guys get away with it. It's just another means through which you can be sexually satisfied without that "significant" other. It makes them less significant, and more of just an other.

Of course anything strip clubs or flirting with others is cheating as well.