Im a 30 yr old male. Good looking guy and I have a beautiful wife. We have been together for 12 yrs and married for 6. The problem is her sex drive is gone. I have a very large sexual drive. She loves me very much but doesnt want sex. Not even giving me a hand job at the least. Im a pilot and travel all over and I have told her I might go get it on the road. She replys ok sarcasticly. She is not cheating on me and we have talked about this problem but I get nothing. I know it sounds like me me me but I do have needs. I dont want to cheat on her but I need some sexual attention.

 

I understand your feelings I am kinda in the same boat my lady just hasnt had the sex drive she used to and as much as I enjoy the forum its nothing compared to having the real things getting you off. But the ladies on here do help to release a bit of frustration

 

This has been said hundreds of times before in threads very similar to this one.

Women and men oftentimes do not have identical sex drives.

What are you doing to make sure your wife is in the mood? Is her job stressful? Are there unresolved issues? All I'm reading is about you you you.

 

Well thats why I said me me me in my post. I am there emotionally and physically there for my wife. We have a great relationship. I try to do everything to get her in mood but she is just is just not wanting it. I dont know what else I can do to make her in the mood. Her job is not that stressfull at all.

 

You have to ask her whether or not she still loves you. If she is cutting you off completely and refusing you sex every chance you desire it, question her about it. Open the lines of communication. Let her know that you won't get angry should she bring up something that bothers her and leave it at that.

Have you tried to give her a weekend where it is all about her?

 

ur in a very tuff spot but the answers are quite plain. good luck

 

Why should he have to give her a weekend where it is all about her. IT ALREADY IS!! She's the one getting exactly what she wants! Believe it or not, but there are women who don't like sex and they just flat out refuse to participate. I married one and for 26 years all I have heard is the same old crap about how "I" need to pay more attention to her, or maybe "she" is tired and stressed, and I used to buy into that garbage and try to coddle and beg my way into getting some sex from my wife until I finally realized that this wasn't what was keeping my wife from wanting sex. SHE JUST DOESN'T WANT IT! If she wants to lay in bed every night and let her little pussy dry up and turn into dust while she misses out on the best gift that God gave to manking, then I'm getting out of the way. She's just a sexual anorexic and if I would have realized that many years ago I would have saved myself much grief and humiliation.

 

Nice one, and I fully agree. I've never seen a woman revert to giving it up once she thinks she can remove it from a relationship. I think thier mentally ill sometimes.

Personally, I just do not get how she can't even give the OP a hand job.

 

Sexploration

People change as they age, especially after the age of 40 years. Low sex drive is indicative of 2 changes in physiology. The first is in the mind and the second is in the endocrine sexual glands. In the case of both men & women, it is invariably due to a lack of testosterone in the blood. The answer is to supplement the testosterone levels in the diet. Hormone replacement therapy is the medical way to go. This will involve a blood test to monitor the level of sexual hormones in the blood. Then a pill with testosterone will be prescribed to
supplement the levels in the blood. Some monitoring will be done until the appropriate sexual drive is reached.

I like women with mustaches since the growth of hair on the upper lip indicates that their levels of blood testosterone are high and thus a good libido! The testosterone receptors in the brain turn on the libido, no testosterone in the blood - no libido!

Turkey meat has the highest level of testosterone of any animal source. Plant phytosterols are neutral but will allow you to synthesize sexual hormones. Also, you need very long chain oils for adequate synthesis, use Grapeseed oil in your diet but avoid frying your foods. Ginseng and Maca are adaptogens and supplement the levels of what hormone is low. Pumpkin seeds have phytosterols and zinc, which inhibits the breakdown of testosterone by the liver.

Please feel free to ask questions.

 

I love my wife very much which makes her lack of sexual desire all the more frustrating to me. Back in the day when I used to "bother" her for sex a couple of times a week, she had all of the standard excuses ready for why she didn't want or couldn't have sex. Sometimes when I persisted, she would give in but almost always with conditions such as I had to promise to do something for her the next day or to just plain hurry up and get it over with. Now I don't even ask, nor do I have much interest in sex with her and she goes about her day, every day, happy as a lark, never even wondering what became of my sexual desires. I think she believes they have finally diminished because of my age, when in truth they are still present....they just are no longer directed at her. Other than the lack of sex, we have a pretty good marriage (more like a friendship). The sad part is that with a decent sex life, our marriage would be fantastic.

 

It's a good thing that you two are still friends. I just really don't understand how, or why a woman would deny her husband, or put restrictions on it.

Most men have trouble expressing themselves, and for alot of them, the only way to show it, is through sex. Plus, most men have a higher sex drive then women, and if they don't get it with you, they WILL get it somewhere else.

I see it as a need, right up there with eating and breathing, if they don't get it, something is usually going to go wrong. I was raised that way however, I remember having an uncomfortable talk with my mother. She was no longer physically able to have sex, and her and dad are from an older generation (duh) that doesn't believe in handjobs/BJ's/other fun stuff, which they were still happy with. But after she couldn't anymore, she gave him a budget, and once a month he could rent a hotel room and get a hooker. Thier still very happy, and deeply in love, it was only because she physically couldn't do it anymore that they went to that extreme.

 

Even the ones who don't and still give it up long after they've lost interest aren't much better, KVW. If men aren't complaining about how she never puts out, they're complaining about how when she does, it's almost like rape. They just kind of lay there and take it with a defeatist attitude.

MY question is why is it that half the pharmaceutical companies in the world are producing ED drugs but hardly any are working on discovering the causes, and solutions to, the death of the female sex drive? What good is a four hour boner if your wife doesn't wanna fuck you?

The injustices against women in the health care industry (at least in America) are staggering. Hardly anyone researches female baldness. Most insurance companies will cover Viagra but NOT birth control ...which costs more in the long run? The 50 year old woman on the verge of menopause getting knocked up by her blue pill popping husband or the 24 year old who needs that 30 buck case of pills every month? I'm going to guess between the extended prenatal care and at risk birthing (not to mention insuring the kid once it's born) it would be in the best interest of insurance companies to start covering birth control and put some effort into helping out women as well as men.

But I digress... what my point is is that while women have always had a lower sex drive, it's fairly across the board that sometime between 30 and 50 it plummets into near extinction. And once menopause hits... just forget about it! Why are these companies so concerned with making it easier for men to have sex if they're not doing a damn thing to help his wife WANT to?

And finally, Draco's right about the testosterone. If she's on BC or changed it recently, the Estrogen levels might be too high for her. Or if they have her on estrogen for another medical reason, that could be impacting it as well as it counters the natural testosterone in her system. If you want to really see if there's something that can be done medically (and she's willing) you can look into a Reproductive Endocrinologist. They can test her levels (assuming she's not on birth control as that would skew the results) or change her birth control dosage (if she's not already on a low dose). And see if it helps. I'm currently seeing a specialist after being off BC for about four years now. Mainly due to PCOS but also cause after the last time I was on it I had an unbelievable disinterest in sex (without it, I'm one horny little slut) and it nearly ruined my relationship with my (now) husband. I refuse to go back on birth control until my hormone levels are investigated by a professional and they assess the risks of each one. They're trying to get my testosterone under control (which is responsible for my excess hair growth like Draco mentioned) without killing my sex drive. So it's a real battle. How much estrogen to give me to actually combat my elevated testosterone, treat my PCOS, and all without killing my sex drive... frankly if I wasn't terrified of getting knocked up, I'd tell them to just keep their damned pills. I really really hate birth control and what it does to me and I'm terrified to have to take it again. Fingers crossed!

 

I can relate to Knoxville and the post before...thanks



I also dont understand about restrictions or getting denyed over and over and over. I dont think it matters who is doing the denying weather it be her or him the other person is going to find that part of the relationship some place else. I.E a fuck buddy. I love my wife very much and she has needs as well as myself. I am very attentive to her and hers and she knows about my sexuall drive. She gets frustrated that we are so diffrent as far as that goes. Sh is content with onces every 4-6 months. I would like to go 2 to 4 times a day. Last night when we taked she said I hope your sex drive never goes away and i replied why does it that matter, we dont have sex anyways. She replys because when I do want it I just want to know your cock will work...So you see its not just about me, its also about her and we only have sex when she wants it.

This in turn makes me want to find it elsewhere. Im a pilot and in hotels all the time. I have not wanted to cheat on her but I feel like Im wasting my time at home. That is why Im on xnxx and phone sex lines all the time.

 

Have your women started or stop any meds lately. Anti-deps can really screw up a sex drive in both men and women. Other meds can do the same thing.

 

not at all. she is just removed from sex I think. lol. Shes not depressed. she talked with her gyno ad they changed her meds to make her want it more. However nothing has changed and thats been months ago. O well I guess. I may have to resort to plan B even though I dont want to.

 

My wife and I had a discussion about sex awhile back and she just could not understand why I would be so frustrated about her lack of desire so I gave her this little analogy.

I asked my wife if she enjoys shopping. "Yes, of course" she answered. I asked her to name her favorite store. "Target" she replied. The closest Target store to us is 45 minutes away. I went on....Imagine that Target is the only store that you are allowed to shop in. Now imagine that you are going through a normal day at work and sometime during that day you think about Target and how great it would be to go shopping after work. You come home, shower, change into your shopping clothes, fill the car with gas, check the sale ads and get into the car and zoom toward Target with great anticipation. "Ok" she says with reluctance. Now also imagine that after the 45 minute drive to Target you pull into the parking lot, park the car, walk up to the door and find it locked! There is no sign on the door stating that Target is closed. There are employees inside just standing around able to help you, yet you can not get in. Someone finally responds to your knocking and tells you that Target does not feel like being open this evening so you will have to come back at a later time. "But Mr. Manager" you ask, "I just want to come in and shop for awhile. Shopping is fun and enjoyable. It looks like you could be open. Why are you turning me away?" Mr. Manager can only repeat "not today" and turns away. You walk away dejected. You see people going into the Walmart across the street. Even the Kmart has customers! Why not my Target???!!! You drive home. During the drive you think about your next attempt at shopping. You plan the day. You think about the possibilities. You set a day aside hoping that you will finally get to shop at Target. The day comes and another trip is made with great anticipation. You pull into the lot, stride to the door with confidence only to find it locked again. Knocking even louder this time, Mr. Manager grumpily arrives and asks "WHAT?" "I want to come in and shop" you reply. "Not today" he says. You protest and tell him how much you planned and how long it has been since you last got to shop there. Nothing works. You start to get angry and look across the street at the Walmart and Kmart and Kohl's and Sears and Younkers. Mr. Manager sees your eyes wandering to the other places to shop and forcefully snaps at you, "Don't even think about shopping over there!" You drive home once again. Beaten. Rejected. Dejected. After a few days have gone by you have the desire to shop once again. This time you think back to the events of the past and realize that your shopping days are over. There is no reason to plan or even think about shopping. Chances are that Target is still closed and even if it's not, why bother? They don't seem to want me to shop there anyway.

My wife listened and said "ya right" "Like Target would ever close" I think she missed the point.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

lol soo funny. I'm the one being denyed sex in my relationship lately... I have been trying to "get some" for over a week!!!! Ignores my passes.. when asked why he says " just not in the mood

I laid on the bed.. pulled him to me with my legs... nodda

I laid beside him in bed.. rubbing his cock till he woke up.. and he rolled over

Same shit....ugh

 

There could be alot of reasons sweetie.

You're far enough along he might be worried about starting labour, or hurting the baby, or hurting you.

 

I can hardly believe that! I'm getting hard just reading what you have tried and I'm thousands of miles away!