Are there any other women out there like this? You date guys but somehow you always end up being the fuck buddy? What is it that we're doing? Some women go from exclusive relationship to excusive relationship, while somehow guys only want me for sex and somehow never want a g/f. Even strangers call me "Trouble", so is it just my look? What can I do to make it a real relationship, not just sex? I try to hold off on the sex talk on the early dates, but somehow the conversation always turns to sex. ??!!

 

I am probably picking the wrong guys, but I can't help what I'm attracted to! hmph

 

Yup you're probably picking the wrong guys! You must like to go after the players.. In our current society women tend to do the picking and any average looking woman can sleep with tons and tons of guys, while it takes a guy to have much more game or something fairly unique to him to be able to do that...

I don't know you personally or anything about you so it's hard to give specific advice..So yeah maybe they just aren't looking to settle down(their players), or they don't see you as that kind of material aka their too picky. At least they aren't leading you on with a relationship while their playing you... that's very wrong

But if you're a genuine, decent looking, nice woman with a good head on her shoulders I see no reason why you wouldn't find a guy to be exclusive with you..

One thing is in relationships people tend to either date up or down... Generally someone wants someone at least their equal if not better. No one likes to date down so to speak.. Therefore maybe you're just going for guys above you or at the very least they feel their above you... Maybe try lowering you standards just a touch maybe not personality wise but in other areas and you may just get that exclusive long term relationship you've been looking for.

Good luck

 

I would add that you should think about what you want very carefully as well. I know that my relationship is not what I would have preferred, but I did not get into it without knowing what I wanted and accepted the limitations to be what she wants and she did as well. We are still together 21 years later.

If you enjoy your sexuality you will continue to attract others that do as well, but you have to accept that they are going to continue being that way with or without you. A committed relationship takes a different mindset in my experience, so be very sure of your own motivations for wanting one, you might find that you are just getting the 'grass is always greener' feeling and that by accepting your own choices you no longer have a problem. Just my .02 as it were.

 

Probably just your look. Guys can tell.

 

Nice insight guys, thanks for the responses.

I need to quit trying to be the "cool chick" and be more clear with what I want.

 

I know how you feel Goldi, I went through alot of years where I was the fuck buddy. I met my husband online, years ago now, and we always discussed sex. We never cybered or webcammed though, not until I was definetly coming to meet him.

Any man I meet in real life tends to treat me as a sex buddy, not even a friend. I don't think it's cause we're easy, it's because of some vibe we give off. That we are more interested in sex, and it makes them think we don't want them for a relationship. Like we intimidate them.

 

I can't help but think that the "problem" is just that you love to fuck.

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

By the way, do you use that avatar on your Facebook page? That might explain it....

 

It's interesting to see it from a guys point of view, and then from a womans! I'm gonna have to live with it being a primal instinct; They can smell my sex. LoL

LoL Kimiko, no Facebook for me! I have pretty covered up pics on my dating profile tho.

 

Maybe you shouldn't spread your legs so fast? I mean.. maybe that's why they are so interested in fucking you? There's no doubt that you aren't DTF?

If it's not that they KNOW you are DTF, I have no idea why they would fuck you without liking you first..

In my exsperiance..if you aren't whilling to put out in the 1st 5 days.. if they arent interested in anything BUT fucking you... they dissappear.

 

Well, I don't spread my legs fast, but thanks for assuming so.

I'm saying, what gives them the urge to even try to ask within the first 1-5 days? It's just natural to go on 1 date and then have them hit u up at 2am asking to come cuddle? Is dating for a while just unheard of these days?

 

There's nothing wrong with being a fuck-buddy, but as it's not working for you anymore here's my advice.

Guys like the hunt. Right now you are being the equivalent of a cow instead of a deer. Make the guy work for it. Also, stop picking guys like the guys you have been picking. A three dates before sex rule will help. Also booty-calls are a no-no.

If you get a craving use your fingers or toys or both.

If you start treating what you have to give to people as valuable others will too.

 

Hence the "?" mark at the end of the well statement.

The urge is because they have a damn cock lol

 

We may be rare but there are some of that want to get to know the lady we're dating first. 5 dates aren't enough for me. I've been dumped by women because I waited too long. Since I believe that sex is so much better with someone you know well, I may find myself getting dumped again.

Good men that want a life with a woman are out there. Finding one is the challenge.

 

Okay...but can we fuck first?

 

Hey there, maybe I just want to cuddle. <snif> Brute.

 

I think they just run out of clever things to say.

 

I'm not sure I shall be able to describe it in as few words as possible...

So, there are good looking women and bad looking women - this has nothing to do with the sex-buddy tendency...

There are women at who every man looks, having in their minds the idea to fuck them.

But not at all these women will be men blowing their horns, whistleing, etc.

There are some who just look good, and some who also look "available for a fuck"...

I would say it's something related to "the body language".

When a chat is involved, than women can be decent, reluctant, or a tease, or willing...

I wouldn't try to discuss sex with a woman, unless I "feel" that she wouldn't have anything against it.

 

Well, since you put it that way...

You mean you don't want to get to know my sparkling personality first?

 

The trick is to find a guy who doesn't have a lot of girlfriends and who is a little shy, when it comes to making friends with women.

Because a guy like that is bound to feel a little lonely. And if you satisfy his loneliness well, sexually and otherwise, then he will want to stay with you in a permanent relationship.