@%# quotable quotes from bawler16 #%@

AZRIEL · Jul 21, 2011

bawler16 said: ↑

My Night With Lisa pt.1

"And remember Chris, no girls, no friends, no parties. If I find out you had people over while we were away, I'm gonna kill ya!", my dad joked, making sure I knew he was serious at the same time.
"Yea, I know, I know, well I gotta go, time to pick up some hookers and buy some drugs, have fun on your vacation" I joked back.
"I knew I could count on you, Chris, we'll be home in a week, call the hotel if you need anything."
"Okay dad, have fun down the shore, bye", I said as I hung up the phone.
"I've got the house to myself for a week, this is gonna be fuckin sweet" I thought to myself. I called up Lisa before she got on her plane back to NYC, told her I had the house to myself for a week and that we should chill and watch a movie or something.
"Okay, sounds great, the plane's about to take off, I'll be home soon and then I'll drive down to your house. I'll be there tonight around 8" she replied.
"Aight cool, looking forward to it, pussy." I joked.
"You're the pussy, I'll kick your ass" she said, trying to sound intimidating.
"Yea sure you will, cus you're so tough and all," I replied sarcastically.
"Damn right I am, see ya tonight pussy," she said.
"Later little bitch" I replied.
"Bye Chris".
I hung up my cell phone, walked into the TV room, plopped down lazily on the couch, and decided to watch a little TV. I started watching ESPN but quickly got bored so I went outside to shoot hoops.
It was a really sunny day, and hot, really hot but I didn't care. I welcomed the chance to shoot hoops and think with open arms. "I can't believe I'm finally gonna get to chill with Lisa," I thought to myself, satisfied with my decision to invite her over. I started working on drills and ended up getting really sweaty so I grabbed my ball, took off my shirt and went inside to the basement.
The blast of cool air as I entered the door felt so good on my skin. I walked the mostly bare, unfinished basement into the exercise room with my little makeshift gym. I stepped on my digital scale. "167, I'm getting there" I thought to myself, impressed with my recent weight gain. "Hmm I should workout so my abs and chest show just incase I take my shirt off tonight", I thought to myself. I got on my blue exercise ball and started doing weighted crunches, which made my abs feel like they were on fire. I went through my whole routine and then shut off the lights and walked up the stairs to my room to take a shower.
I turned on the water, kicked my shorts off and hopped in the shower, which felt so good on my sore muscles. When I was done, I turned off the water, toweled off, and as much as I hate to admit to doing it, looked at my body in the mirror. I got dressed and looked at the clock, it was 4:30 so I decided to clean up the messier parts of my house. It took me awhile and by the time I was done, there was like an hour and a half until Lisa was supposed to get here.
I went in the bathroom real quick, shaved cus I was getting a hobo beard again, sprayed myself with RGX body spray, and got dressed in somewhat baggy blue jeans, my black and white polo shirt, and my white Reeboks that I wear when I go out. I messed with my hair until I got it the way I liked it and went back out to the TV room to sit on the couch, watch TV, relax, and wait for Lisa to get here.
Around 7, just as the Phillies game was starting, I saw Lisa's blue 07 Honda CRV pulling up to my house and stopping. "Amazing, the only person who hasn't gotten lost looking for my house is a blonde," I thought to myself, amused. I watched her get out of the car and she was just as stunning as she was in the pics she always posted. She was 5'4 but at least 5'7 with the heels she was wearing, I'm guessing around 110lbs, with a tan, fit body that was capped off with a tight, feminine but athletic ass and a pair of small but very nice tits-I'm guessing around a 32 B-, long blonde hair that made her tan look even hotter, dark blue eyes, and one of those faces that doesn't need makeup to look good and displays natural beauty. She was wearing very tight jeans that showed off her tight ass very nicely and a white fitted tank top, which was almost see through, and I couldn't help but stare at her tits for a few seconds as she walked the path to ring the doorbell.
I pretended I didn't hear just to piss her off but then got up, opened the door and answered it. "Surprised you made it, pussy, where's the Softy truck?" I asked jokingly.
"I crashed it somewhere in Jersey" she replied, like a smartass, then laughed.
"Oooohhh I see, well don't just stand there dumbass, come on in" I said, inviting her in.
"Ass" she joked as she playfully pushed my shoulder. "Don’t make me kick your ass in your own house."
I gave her the grand tour and we ended up sitting down in the TV room on the couch and watching the Phillies game. I poured myself a jack and coke and handed her a beer. Halfway into the game, I was surprised to see that she was actually into it. When Ryan Howard sent a 3-2 pitch into the left field seats, Lisa looked over at me and asked "Did the Phillies score a touchdown?" like a smartass just to mess with me.
"Very funny punk, watch the game, will ya?" I retorted. She stuck her tongue out at me playfully, revealing her tongue ring. As the innings went by, I tried to feel her out. I put my arm on the couch and brought it down to her shoulder. She didn't seem to mind and by the 9th inning, I had my arm around her and she was leaning into me with her head on my chest. Soon enough the game was over and the Phillies actually won for once too. "This must be a sign that I'm gonna get laid tonight" I thought jokingly to myself.
I shut the TV off and Lisa looked up at me and smirked. She sat her beer down on the table, and said, "let's do body shots, to celebrate your team winning."
Without hesitation, I grabbed the Jose Cuervo from the basement, limes, and salt, and Lisa jumped up onto the kitchen table. "Okay, lay back on the table" I ordered.
"Yes sir" she joked like a smartass. I grabbed a lime, held it up to her mouth as she grabbed it with her teeth, poured some salt on the part of her tits that was exposed and her neck, and poured the shot of tequila.
I decided it was gonna be a dirty body shot so I started by licking the side of her neck, taking extra time to get her hot. I rolled my tongue down to her tits and licked the salt that was all over them, licking as far down to the material of her tank top as I could each time, teasing her. Then I slammed the shot back, pinned her arms on the table and grabbed the lime from her mouth with my teeth, sucking on it then kissing her hard, teasing her by massaging her tongue with mine then darting it back out and back into her mouth again, then started slowly circling my tongue with hers, before quickly ending the kiss, making sure to leave her wanting more.
She pouted, then got up, pushed me down on the table and told me it was my turn. She poured salt on my neck, pulled up my shirt and poured it on my abs, then handed me the lime, which I grabbed with my teeth. She also happened to be very good at teasing as she started off by licking the salt off my neck, then continued licking my neck in a way that almost made my cock jump and hit her. She looked at me with a lustful, seductive, horny look as she moved down to my abs and started licking all the salt up, again licking after the salt was all up, rolling her tongue all over my abs and teasing down to my jeans and eventually biting my belt, making it look like she was about to undo it with her teeth. She leaned back up, slammed the shot, leaned in to get the lime from my mouth, kissed me just as hard as I had kissed her, circling my tongue with hers, and got up again. I got up too and leaned against the table.
"Shit, I’m all sticky from the body shots, I’m gonna take ashower cus I don't wanna get my shirt all messed up," Lisa said.
"Good idea," I agreed.
Lisa turned her back toward me and started walking to the bathroom, slowly, teasingly taking off her top and letting it fall to the floor, then undoing her jeans, stepping out of them, revealing her pink thong. Last but not least she pulled down her pink thong, kicked it off and wiggled her bare ass seductively as she walked into the bathroom, closed the door most of the way, turned on the water and got in the shower.
A few minutes went by when I heard her call my name. "Chris, I can't reach a few spots, can you wash my back for me?"
I smirked to myself, and headed towards the bathroom, taking my shirt off on the way. I opened the door, and my jaw almost dropped on the floor. Lisa looked so damn sexy in the shower, rubbing her hands all over her soapy tits, suds and water running all over her hot body.
"Well, are you gonna just stand there or help me?" she teased.
"Don't have to tell me twice" I said as I undid my belt, took off my jeans and socks, and got in the shower behind her.
I grabbed the washrag, soaked it in hot water and squeezed it over her shoulders and back, letting the hot water run down her shoulders, her back, over her ass and down her naked body. I grabbed the soap and started soaping up her shoulders, down her arms, occasionally "accidentally" brushing her tits with my fingertips, which caused her to breath in loudly. I felt myself growing hard, and I moved my hands back up to her shoulders, then down her back to her very nice ass. I ran my hands all along her ass, occasionally teasing her pussy, which would cause her to let out a moan. She must've felt my erection, because she turned around and faced me.
I shoved her against the cold tiles, and she gasped as I pinned her arms above her head and pressed my lips hard against hers. I could taste the salt and the tequila on her lips, and my tongue licked up the remainder that was on her tongue. My erection was pressing against her stomach, and she moaned as I started kissing her neck, teasing her with my tongue. I let go of her hands and gripped her hair, yanked her head back and nibbled on her neck. She moaned again and grabbed my face with her hands. She kissed me hard. "My pussy's throbbing..." she said against my mouth.
I broke away from her mouth and bit her ear lobe. I tugged on it with my teeth, and whispered harshly in her ear, "you want me to fuck you? You want my cock in you?"
She breathed hard, and nodded. She grabbed the back of my neck and pulled my face down so it was inches from hers, the water dripping down both our bodies. "I want you to fuck me Chris," she moaned against my lips. "I want you to fuck the shit out of me."
I bit her lower lip, hard, and then kissed her. She let out a moan against my mouth, and gripped the back of my hair, tugging at it. "Fuck me Chris."
I shook my head no. She let out a breath she must've been holding, and I knew she wanted me to fuck her. Bad. I was gonna make her beg for it.
So I knelt in front of her and shoved her legs apart. "Oh god," she moaned as my tongue found her clit. I grabbed her ass and pulled her pussy against my face, my tongue working on her clit. She moaned and gripped the shower walls, her knees starting to give out. "Chris..." she moaned, and I knew I was about to make her cum.
"Oh god," she moaned as I hummed against her pussy. "Chris I’m going to cum....oh god," she moaned, and gripped the back of my hair holding my face against her. My tongue licked up every last drop of cum as she came into my mouth, then I teased her clit again before standing up.
Her body weak from the orgasm, I picked her up and slammed her against the shower wall, and she wrapped her legs around my waist. "Fuck me now," she moaned as I pressed my lips hard against hers again.
"Tell me how bad you want it," I said, then bit her neck really hard. She groaned, her nails digging into my back. She bit my shoulder hard, and I groaned, pushing her harder against the shower wall. My cock was pressed between her legs, right against her pussy. Now I wanted to fuck the shit out of her.
"I want you to fuck me Chris, fuck me now," she said and bit my neck as her fingers gripped my wet hair.
She gasped as I shoved my rock hard cock into her tight pussy.
I pushed her harder against the wall, held her up by her ass, and thrust my cock hard all the way into her. She moaned, her arms wrapped around my shoulders. She kissed my neck, teased me with her tongue. Her hips grinded on my cock as I thrusted hard into her. She moaned as I shoved her back again, and then gripped her hair.
"Fuck me harder Chris..." she moaned, then harshly kissed my lips. I bit her lower lip, tugged at it again, and ripped at her hair. She moaned against my mouth, and I felt her nails digging into my flesh as I shoved all eight and half inches into her tight pussy. "I feel like I'm gonna cum again.."
I bit her neck, teased her with my tongue. One had gripped her ass; the other now had a firm hold of her left tit. I squeezed and she cried out, lowering herself further against my cock. She lightly sucked on my neck, but then used her tongue. It sent me over the edge and I knew I had to pull out before I came.
I pulled out, and let her down. I turned her around again and pinned her face first against the wall. I thrust my cock into her hard again as I grabbed her hair with my one hand, tugged hard, and spanked her ass with the other one. She let out another loud moan and I started fucking her hard again, developing a pattern of spanking her ass hard when I pulled out and tugging her hair back hard when I thrust hard back in. "I want you to cum again for me" I ordered as I felt my own orgasm getting closer. I reached around and grabbed both tits with my hands, gripping them hard as I thrusted from behind.
"Oh god, Chris..." she cried out, her hands gripping the shower wall. I bit her shoulder hard and she moaned. I let go of her tits and grabbed her hair again, yanking her head back towards me. I kissed her hard on the lips, and she moaned. I tugged at them, my one hand pulling her hair, my other now reaching around her to massage her clit. "Oh god..." she gasped against me mouth. "Chris I’m gonna cum again..."
"Cum, bitch," I said, pushing her against the tile. I bit her neck again, nearly breaking the skin, and felt her body convulse against my cock. I felt myself about to cum.
"Tell me how much you want my cum," I yelled at her, as I continued fucking her.
"I want you to cum for me so bad, I wanna taste it, I want it all over my face, all over my tits, I wanna feel it slide down my throat, I want your cum so bad, come on Chris, cum for me, I want it so bad" Lisa pleaded as I forced her to her knees, placed her hand on my cock and made her start jerking me off. I was breathing very loudly, moaning, and grunting.
"Fuck, OH shitt, Ohhh fucckk! Here it commeeeessss!" I yelled as I threw my head back and came hard, with Lisa still jerking me off and spurt after spurt covered her face, lips, tongue, mouth, and tits.
She took my cock in her mouth, cleaning it off and running her tongue and tongue ring all over the shaft and head as she sucked on the head and continued jerking me off to get all the cum from my cock, causing me to moan and grunt. She continued to suck me off, running her tongue up and down my cock. Then she pulled away from me, and took her finger and got all the cum from her face and tits and dropped it into her mouth as she played with it, which was so hot to watch. She then smiled, closed her mouth and swallowed it all.
I pulled her up, turned off the shower, grabbed a towel and started drying her off...Not to be continued.

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Obscene Cupcake · Jul 21, 2011

is there a limit to how many quotes you can post *grins*

billblondel344 · Jul 21, 2011

AZRIEL said: ↑

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what a dreamer he is,,,,lisa had to crawl through his bedroom window,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

AZRIEL · Jul 21, 2011

bawler26 said: ↑

Hell no.
It's made me more open minded about certain things, sure, opened my mind a bit from the influence I had all my life, but that was when I first joined and since then this place has only made me dumber and fucked up my formerly perfect spelling and grammar.

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Obscene Cupcake · Jul 21, 2011

from bawler trying to give me advice on getting fit. before creating this thread, i didn't know he was a douche. there is also a thread where he mentions wanting us to get together sometime irl, but i have no idea where that quote is now. i find it hilarious considering his stalking of me since. and his avoidance of meeting people irl.

I said don't drink when you are thirsty.
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The most in shape your abs can ever be is to be completely flat,
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You don't know what you're talking about. You would be wise to listen to me because my body is my career, and not how it looks but how it performs.

You also don't know what abs are. I will show you a picture. http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=...t:429,r:14,s:0

These are abs. Do you see how it is completely flat? Those are real abs. Those are the abs you get from being in the best shape anybody could ever be in and every real athlete has abs exactly like that. Now go ahead and try to act like you know better than professional athletes again.

Oh, and you also clearly didn't read what I said. Big shocker from somebody with his head up his own ass. Let me guess, you're one of those guys who works out for how it looks huh? Shame, you guys never actually look as good as possible because you don't do it completely or correctly.

Honestly I would leave it alone but it is people like you with your self-centered bad advice who keep others from actually reaching their potential.
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apparently bawler's flat stomach and nonexistant biceps are sexier to girls than the models they put in playgirl who are FUCKING BUILT. i should feel so grateful to him for his free advice that he gives to me from his nonexistant career.

remember him saying that he's never worked out before in his "truth" thread?

I mean honestly, do you have any idea how many people outside of here(myself included) wish they had what I'm giving you people, for free? This is THE answer, THE program. Everything you ever need to know and the best way to get into the best shape you could ever be in is in that thread.
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Do you have any idea how incredibly stupid it was for me to post my personal program and everything I know about fitness, and to give it away for free? Believe me, if I could go back and never share all of that with this forum I would. Unfortunately, my huge mistake is everybody who reads it's reward.
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baller and luna's response to him.

Originally Posted by baller16
Oh, and so we're clear, you're saying this isn't a body type girls masturbate to? http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=...t:429,r:21,s:0
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SemiLunate said: ↑

I don't masturbate to body types like that......and I'm a girl... so......
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Obscene Cupcake · Jul 21, 2011

last years christmas present to xnxx

baller16 · Jul 21, 2011

Hey dipshit. I would never in my fucking life EVER want to meet an out of shape, ugly, immature little fucking brat like you in person.

Keep dreaming, sweetheart.

I let everything else slide, despite the fact you're full of shit and it's you who has stalked my fucking posts this whole time and been the catty little girl that you are without me so much as saying two words to you, but that lie you just told is not one I will ever let go unchecked. I have standards and you will never meet them.

tenguy · Jul 22, 2011

baller16 said: ↑

"I let everything else slide, despite the fact you're full of shit and it's you who has stalked my fucking posts this whole time and been the catty little girl that you are without me so much as saying two words to you, but that lie you just told is not one I will ever let go unchecked. I have standards and you will never meet them".
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Wow, AZ, you even got Baller to post a quote, I'm duly impressed!
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AZRIEL · Jul 22, 2011

baller16 said: ↑

True, well except I've never seen anybody make up a girlfriend or wife or even a kid in real life but have on this site.
Either way, I can't stand guys who claim to have a girl...

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Obscene Cupcake · Jul 22, 2011

tenguy said: ↑

baller16 said: ↑

Wow, AZ, you even got Baller to post a quote, I'm duly impressed!
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even he realizes his posts are lame!
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bostonmasstina · Jul 24, 2011

baller16 said: ↑

First of all, I'm never not relaxed. Secondly, saying things like that is unnecessary and implies that you are superior to me or know more than me. How exactly would I not take offense to that? You're forcing me to accept a position that I am not actually in.

Glad you're smart enough to agree with what I said in that quote though.
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Tina :rose:

AZRIEL · Jul 25, 2011

*as posted in quotable quotes.

bawler16 said: ↑

Poke fun all you want but you're just showing your ignorance.

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bawler16 said: ↑

Hey, you fucking dipshit

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bawler16 said: ↑

I'm telling you to shut your pathetic, catty, douchey mouth and go out and actually learn something.

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bawler16 said: ↑

It's incredibly pathetic that you think any of the shit you do is the least bit clever or original.

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bawler16 said: ↑

Fuck it. not bothering with this pathetic douche.

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bawler16 said: ↑

You're a fucking loser.

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bawler16 said: ↑

You're as catty, immature, delusional, and emotional as a teenage girl.

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bawler16 said: ↑

Not really.

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bawler16 said: ↑

Practice what you preach, you fake fuck.

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bawler16 said: ↑

You're not Vin Diesel or Robin Williams, and neither of them talk like a fucking fourteen year old girl the way you do.

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bawler16 said: ↑

Quit flattering yourself.

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bawler16 said: ↑

I won't let you constantly lie though.

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bawler16 said: ↑

I do not care about anybody's opinion

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bawler16 said: ↑

Because right is right.

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bawler16 said: ↑

Don't say a fucking word about how I talk, you fake ass little wigger.

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bawler16 said: ↑

And I do not give a flying fuck about being respected by any of you delusional people.

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bostonmasstina · Jul 26, 2011

Chris, I don't even look for this stuff. It just has a way of finding me.

baller16 said: ↑

Except the longer a woman smokes, the more immature she's likely to be. So while it's a good idea to find that in a fuck buddy if that particular type is what you're looking for, it's not a good idea to look for that in a woman you want a relationship with.
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Tina :rose:

scotsmitch2001 · Jul 26, 2011

Maybe Baller was just posting one of his "quotes"? if he actually sent a message, could he then, resend it as a quote?

Obscene Cupcake · Jul 26, 2011

bostonmasstina said: ↑

Chris, I don't even look for this stuff. It just has a way of finding me.

Tina :rose:
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I saw that, started to comment, and then just shook my head and walked away. he seemed to think smc's comic was SERIOUS.

Obscene Cupcake · Jul 26, 2011

scotsmitch2001 said: ↑

Maybe Baller was just posting one of his "quotes"? if he actually sent a message, could he then, resend it as a quote?
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how would you be able to tell, since he always says the same things? o-o

@tina: lol, i just thought of something. doesn't the queen of england smoke? so by bawlers logic shouldn't she be running around flashing her tits? >w>
/no disrespect meant towards the english. i am about as dumb about your country as a person can get. for all i know your queen died and i never found out cause i don't have a tv.

dragonflyjames · Jul 26, 2011

Ah,The Baller wars are back.

Puff · Jul 26, 2011

Some things never change

scotsmitch2001 · Jul 26, 2011

Baiting Baller Big Bonus

richief · Jul 26, 2011

baller16 said: ↑

You are quite the hypocrite. You talked shit to me unprovoked in a thread and then proceeded to say in the "what mood are you in" thread how you smacked around a couple of idiots. I had never said a single word to or about you before that, and I was responding to somebody who was catty like you in the post you quoted and then talked shit to me while responding to.

It is people like me who try to keep things in order by not letting people like you make catty remarks, insult others unprovoked, or make absolute statement after absolute statement and then insult everybody who doesn't agree with you instead of ever backing a single word of those statements up.
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Sometimes I feel the irony is too much and baller is really trolling. Or maybe he just doesn't realise how delusional he really is.
I await the remarks to say I am projecting/delusional/catty/douchey/fagot[sic] ad nauseum.

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