+1000000000 agree.

My ex thought i was cheating on her for over a year so she decided to go fuck her ex bf from high school and be with him for 4months before telling me everything. The fucked up part was i never cheated on her, but she never believed me. So she never even confronted me about what she suspected before she ran off with him.

i had a friend that dated this girl for a few years. They had sex once a week...nothing too special. Once they got married it went to 5times aweek until she got pregnant. Then none during pregnancy or afterwards....EVER ! she admitted she only wanted 1 child and sex has no other purpose than for courting and procreation. After thats all done, no sex. ever. needless to say he divorced her. She NEVER let on this was how she felt before they had the kid.

 

Oh, I think you do owe me an explanation. If you're judging my marriage, don't I get to judge your poly-fuck with children?

You said that it was his idea and you hated it for a long time. I wonder how you'll explain that to your offspring. "If you have the power, threaten to leave unless you get what you want. If you don't, well, you have no choice but to go along with things you hate." That's the kind of honesty they'll appreciate for years to come.

At what age will you be completely honest with your child?

 

Im not sure if you cant read or if your really just this stupid.

In either case your confused. So allow me to correct that, I, nor my husband, has EVER (i say again) EVER threatened to leave the other for any reason at all.

My "poly fuck", (your ignorant term) isn't a free for all fuck fest. We have actual relationships with people we care about because we both believe that love is endless. If he came to me right now and said that for the rest of our lives he never wanted sex again and wanted me to be faithfil I would be fine with that. I have a toy chest that can fix my issues. However, should I ever decide that the toys were no longer enough I would (pay attention here) SIT DOWN AND TELL HIM THE TRUTH!! Tell him that rather then go behind his back and cheat I would like his consent to go get my needs met elsewhere because I love him and value our relationship more then sex. If at that point he said no I couldnt have his consent, I'd shop for new toys. End of story.

I would NOT however do what you do. Look the person I love in the eyes everyday and LIE, all while knowing I went out and fucked someone else behind his back. I wouldnt do what you do, because I would know in my heart how hurt he would be if he found out I lied/cheated and the gulit would eat me alive. My husband, is the most important thing to me, after my daughter. So to recap in case you missed it again, I dont fuck random people,(although your playing POT by trying to say I do, when your an admitted cheater) I would never lie to my husband, and I would never cheat. I would show a little more fucking self control and I would NEVER out my hisbands feelings at risk just so I could get off.

Now about my child, not that she is any of your concern, but I will be 110% honest with her about everything form the very first day she is old enough to ask.

Going back to my relationship for a sec though, yes I was opposed to the idea of the lifestyle we lived because I was very caught up in "waht would people say" not because I wanted him to restrict himself or to restrict myself. Like being gay and being scared to "come out".

I quickly got over all my issues and our relationship is damn near perfect.

Now if only I could get him to stop leaving his dirty socks in the floor.

So one more time for you since your slow.. Im not saying threaten to leave. Im saying TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH YOU SPINELESS COWARD.

 

congrats and God bless you! i have a one year old and i cant even get a handy. well i guess i can get my own handy anyway:excited:

 

You're not saying that that I should threaten to leave unless my wife puts out, but that I should just skip right to the divorce? You thought that through on your own, did you?

Or, just tell her "Hey, I'm going to be poly-fucking, you'll hate the idea for a while but eventually you'll cave". That's your sage advice?

There's more to a relationship than honesty. Honesty is easy if you don't give a shit about the other person. It's easy, if you don't care about someone, to say "I'm going to poly-fuck, and you can too, or you can just leave".

 

Once again your trying to use any excuse you can to justify being a coward. I am honest with my husband because I love him, just like he is honest with me for the same reason. Go find your wife, ask her if she would rather you come tell her that you want to go else where to have your needs met or if she would rather continue on none the wiser till she finds out you have been cheating and lying or you both end up with a lifetime STD.

As for this stupid poly fucking shit you keep going back to, even if I was fucking every cock on the block you better believe my husband would KNOW, it wouldnt be some dirty lie that I hade to hide in fear he might divorce me if he found out, or that it would hurt his feelings.

All because you couldnt grow a pair of balls and admit that you want sex so bad your willing to lie, decieve, scheme, plot etc etc behind her back to get it.

I promise you, almsot anyone would rather.be told the truth, no matter how painful, then to find out they had been lied to for months.

So continue to use whatever lie/excuse you have to hide behind to justify your cheating but when your wife finds out, comes to you heartbroken and asks why you had to lie to her, remember that "oh I lied and cheated because I love you and I care about feelings" isnt going to get you forgiven.

Such a coward. Your poor wife. Good GOD I wish I had more to go on then just your IP adress. I'd print your admition of cheating and mail it to your wife. She deserves to know shes being lied to. If you have any self respect, or respect for your wife you will either tell her truth or stop cheating. Show some self control.

 

a relationship that is build on a foundation of lies will soon crumble and fall

 

This is a common misconception. It has been demonstrated that people, in general, have much less stress rationalizing and denying some truths than confronting them. Being 100% honest about everything, all of the time, is not a recipe for some kind of relationship bliss - far from it.

I think a person who has made themselves aware of their partners needs, limitations, sensitivities, etc. shows their affection by not rubbing their partners nose in that which might be especially painful in the name of "truth".

 

I see what your saying if it were something less serious. Cheating is cheating is cheating.

Honestly would you rather live in blissful ignorance while you SO went out and cheated, or would you rather know?

Eventually, everyone gets caught and people get hurt. Aviod all that by simply being honest.

 

If your partner feels some shame and regret about not satisfying you sexually (by not having sex with you), I think there's good reason to think they would rather live in semi-blissful ignorance.

Compassion is compassion is compassion. I think it trumps honesty.

And if my wife were to cheat on me, after having been uninterested in sex for all these years, I'd be kind of upset and (hopefully) kind of happy for her. I'd like her to have a fulfilling sex life. But put me down in the blissful ignorance column. I don't think I'd confront her, and I don't really want to hear her say "I'll be back in the morning, after I poly-fuck someone who can satisfy me in a way you can't".

 

Old Tool, thanks.

 

Been married 15 years and together 20...we often go up to six months with nothing....then about two weeks to a month where things go pretty good and we have sex multiple times....

she has gained a lot of weight over the years, and feels insecure...so even though I am wanting it, she doesn't think she is attractive enough, and depression issues make it even worse.

Mostly I just use this forum, stories and movies to help me get buy in between.....

 

The error you're making here is imposing your moral values onto the world at large. Since you would feel very hurt if your partner wasn't 100% truthful, you assume others feel the same way. Some people do feel like you do, many do not, some have never even asked that question of themselves.

I'd suggest that trying to insist a particular moral viewpoint is the "right" one in a place like this is kind of silly. Unless you know intimate details of any given situation, I believe it's rude to try to shame somebody else's choices. I was where you are once - convinced that certain things are always right and other things are always wrong - you'll have a more stress-free life if you let go of that and just live.

 

Can you honestly say that your wife would rather not know? Even after she finds out she has been lied to, do you think she will be glad she didnt know? If so then by all means carry on. You call lying and cheating an act of compassion, its not. Its saving your tail. You get to have your cake and eat it too. In another thread on the front page people are flaming a woman for wanting to be with a girl without her husband in the room (he knows its happening though) but people are lining up to defend men cheating on their wives. If you wanted to show compassion you would show self control and stop giving yourself a reason to lie. I wasnt trying to offend any one or push my morals onto anyone else as the other person hell bent on arguing with me is saying. Im just trying to show a females perspective. Just like the other thread on cheating where you (Launch) were arguing with Snoochies about her perspective, which by the way, is the same as mine. It has nothing to do with morals or what not, its more just an opinion I suppose. Your opinion is that your showing compassion by cheating, mine is your a lying coward. Not just you, all cheaters.

In response to your last line:

My husband and I do everything sexual together. As Swinger guy once said in another thread, we live by the "Everyone plays, or no body does". We arent going to other people to get things we cant get from each other (except when he wants something absolutely beyond my skill) we have other play partners/relationhips so we can share these experiences with each other. When we got together I was very very untaught having only had sex about 5 times, so we experience new things together. No one has to supress any desire they might have and no one has to lie or cheat to get what they want. I call being able to indulge your own and your partners wants/fantasies compassion.

 

Amas

You've taken a very adamant stance on a topic, I think, you have no experience with. I'm fairly confident that you've never in your life been turned down for sex. Certainly not twice in a row at least. And never for an entire week or a month. So it's easy for you to say that you would remain faithful and never cheat under any circumstances. But I ask you to consider this: if you could have asked Lorena Bobbitt on her wedding day when everything was happy and perfect, she would never tell you "Yes, one day when my husband's asleep, I'm going to cut his dick off and then throw it out the window as I'm driving away."

Nobody thinks they would ever do the wrong thing until after they've done it.

And on a side note, I have to call you out on your last post "We do everything sexually together." I've seen two posts from you where you described each of you having sex when the other was not present. You sent your husband over to have sex with a girl because she was desperate to get laid and you couldn't help her out because you were on your period. And another time you took a guy to the beach and your husband was initially upset when you told him because he assumed you went to your special spot but he was ok after you told him ya'll went to a different spot on the beach. In both cases you made it clear that each of you had the other's permission and it may be a small distinction in your mind, but you weren't together and it doesn't fit the criteria of "Everybody plays or nobody plays."

 

Deffo not getting enough.........Thats why i'm on here!!

 

She may not have been turned down for sex 2 times in a row...or an entire week...

but I certainly have been

 

Your right, people dont normally know what they would do in extreme situations. In this on, I know exactly what I would do. Not saying it again because I tire of this argument. Have you noticed its only men coming to the defense of other men who are cheating. Not a single girl has jumped on here and said "sure lie to me instead of hurt my feelings by telling me you wanna get some from someone else".

I have been denied sex, several times if you must know. Im not as pretty to everyday guys in public as the horny males on a porn site seem to think I am.


Yes my husband and I have played alone, I didnt mean to imply that we had never done anything without the other. What I mean is, the only time we have done stuff without the other is if the other wasnt able to for some reason. I was trying to say that its not the epic tragic situation of going out to get satisfied by someone else as Launch is trying to say. Its just a fun experience. The every body plays or no one does rule means that if I go out and have an encounter alone he has to be free to do the same. Basically a what goes for the goose, goes for the gander as well.

Im sick of this argument because men will always use any excuse possible to try and justify what they are doing. So im just reapeating myself over and over and having my worss twisted around by Launch.

Although I gotta say, of everything on this site, the "I cheated because I love you" excuse has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever come across. Compared in ingnorance only by Launchs post in Snoochies thread where he says that honesty isnt everything and goes on to say say trust (and some other stuff) is what a relationship is about.

I mention this only because Im curious, who trusts someone they know is dishonest?!

 

Whoever turned you down must have been crazy to pass up the chance.

Or had some extreme case of stress going on.

 

I feel the same about you mama! We should just take our babies and live happily ever after together lol