You monster! Why no share?!

 

Man that looks good ... especially the jalapeno's. :excited:

 

Sorry bro ... they were just so good, I buy a hot sauce from a restaurant here in Calgary that makes authentic Buffalo style wings.

I will ask you next time okay .

 

OREO KLONDIKE BARS!!!! FUCK YEAH!!:excited:

 

You damn well better! I don't mess around when it comes to wings.

 

Oh NO joke!!! I love jalapenos! The only thing better are habaneros!:excited:

 

That won't be a problem. When you get to the age where your metabolism slows down, you won't keep that stuff in your system long enough to absorb too many calories.

 

OH that sucks! But thank you! So how long before I give up peppers and wasabi?:excited:

 

*does NOT want to be standing behind you when you're blowing flames out of your ass*

 

A little story about that. Not my writing. It was sent to me by a friend.

Chili Story

I went grocery shopping recently, while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented “You're definitely going to shit yourself” chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your ass cheeks WILL fall off.

Here's the thing.* I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened.* Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning.

Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.

Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal.* I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase.* It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about.* I'm referring to that “Uh oh, gotta go” pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time.* The thing is, this pain was different.

The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestine, forcing their way into the large intestine, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened.* The peppers fired a warning shot.** There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it.

I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting.* Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally?* That’s what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate.

I could've warned that poor woman, but didn't.* I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees.* This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh.* Big mistake.

Here's the thing.* When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean.* With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region.* Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

Suddenly things were no longer funny.* IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place.

Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable “Oh my God” floating above the toilet seat because my ass was burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of “Shock and Awe.”* He made a gagging sound, disgustedly said, “Sonofabitch!” and then quickly left.

Once finished, I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, “Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes.* It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store.* The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.”

That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me.* The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, “IT'S YOU!” He then ran off, returning moments later with the manager.* I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly to not return.

Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls.* The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. * Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the store.

 

Habanero hot sauce.

It is heavenly.

 

And WSF posted a story about habanera chili :excited::excited::excited:

 

I don't eat much in the way of snacks... I seriously eat a lot of pasta. It's pretty much junk to me. Yet I love it.

 

Do you make your own sauces?

 

Oh how did you ever guess?

Actually my favorite way of eating pasta is just with parmesan, which ensures it's non-nutritional aspect to acquire junk food status.

 

Either that or a little olive oil goes a long way.

I like to put a couple hours into making a sauce from scratch. It is well worth the effort to fill the house with a pleasant aroma. In that way, it's like sex. Food preparation is the foreplay of a meal

You tease and taunt the taste-buds until you no longer can stand it.

 

Well then come here and fill my home with pleasant aromas. Tease and taunt, my taste buds. :excited:

On a more serious note... I just don't always have the energy to make a big fancy meal, but I can.

 

I had a bottle of that once. Never again. I actually sustained chemical burns in my mouth from that stuff.

One of my fondest memories is my asshole war-hero beer-swilling neighbor telling me I was a pussy and drinking a tablespoon of the stuff straight.

 

Hot wings here!!!

 

baked beans,hot or cold...... hmmmmmmm