Hi, Can any of you give me some advice please. I will try and keep this as short as possible:
I have been with my partner for about a year now and to start it was great, he was all over me, with long snogs, sex on the sofa etc...
Then it all got a bit samey with just sex in bed, same position and him taking a lesser and lesser part.
We then didnt have sex for 6 months, he gave lots of different reason as said it was hard for him to go without as well, he has always said has a high sex drive!!
We went away last weekend, had a lovely time, but thought I would try and see what happened. I stroked and rubed and made him hard, by while doing this tried to kiss him and got a peck back, couldn't get him to go further than that. I sucked him and he laided perfectly still and didn't make a move, he even had his eyes closed. Eventully I got on top of him, which as I have a bad hip he knows hurts me, he still laid still to start and only after I got off and tried to pull him on top he said "you can't start and not finish", I got back on top and he moved a bit. He came after a few minutes and said he tried to do it as quick as possible as he knew I was hurting. He also said it was a change that I had done the work for a change, but I have always been the one to start, and he has only given me oral sex once, right at the beginning. I didn't come at all. He then feel asleep, the whole thing was about an hour and a half.
The reason I am confused is this says to me, so not interested but everything else is fine, we have a laugh, spend a lot of time together, both he and his 18 year old son have moved in, he cuddles me every night, we sleep naked. He texts when at work to say he misses me, and we talk on the phone every luchtime. He does not express his feelings much, has never said he loves me, but has a smile in his eyes like he does, he always talks about future plans and is busy decorating the new house, although its in my name.
I'm just confused everything other than the sex I am happy with, I dont know if I am doing something wrong or what. I have tried to ask him what he wants or talk about why before and he doesnt seem to want to talk about it.

Any idea's?

 

Well

Sometime I hold out to make my other understand that new things like anal or different positions help keep the want there to me the same routine gets kinda old and I like something new. Have you tried anything new?

 

How old is he ? Could be he has low T . Help me!

 

Tried hinting on a few, anal, different places, different positions, bondage, using toys and nothing

didn't say no to anal but nothing came of it
just get a REALLY to different places
different positions he is ok with but how can I get him to do them
bondage, he doesnt like, no control, not able to defend himself, no againt me but if we got burgled in the act or something
toys and porn are for when you are not in a relationship you shouldnt need them if you are he says

 

He is 45 - he very fit for age, does weights etc

 

How about reading thru these posts and saving the ones that you like. Try to get him to read the ones you saved. Maybe he will get some ideas. If the stuff on here doesn't light a fire, I don't know.

These forums have gotten my wife and I to open up.

 

It sounds like he is preoccupied with other things but nonetheless, try to make him open up to you...communication is an important thing in a relationship... I hope it works well for the both of you... :rose:

 

I think this is a silly notion. After all, toys just aren't for solo use and can be used to greatly enhance typically bland areas of sex, or so I'm told. As it stands, it sounds like you'll need one for yourself currently, the way things are sounding. Unless he's adamantly against it, maybe get one and whip it out during sex some times.

He says you shouldn't need them, but it seems to me like he's going to make you need one.

Chances are there may be something that's on his mind, bothering him, perhaps stress at work or a monetary issue or whatever. Higher levels of stress can cause a hit to a person's sex drive and affect their sex life in general. You could try asking what's up in his own life, if there's anything you can do to help. Or, if you can afford it, you can always try a vacation to... rekindle certain fires.

Since he's 45, his testosterone may be lower jut due to his age. just because he may be physically fit doesn't mean his T levels would be the same as say someone half his age. In that case, you could always get those levels checked if you're both willing.

 

Take a short walk...

If everything other than sex is great I suggest you fulfill your desires elsewhere, hell you may only have to walk down the hall to the other bedroom.

 

Just tell him what you want

 

If you've only been together for one year, and there already are six months without sex, honestly, I just cannot understand how come that you are still together?!?

I cannot tell what, since I don't know either of you, but something happened!

I just hope that you'll find an easy and decent way out of this relationship...

 

O.K. so if I read this correctly, he was all over you and did you all over the house before he and his son moved in? Right? Then after that he just stopped? You said while gone for the week end you did all the work? You even sucked his cock and got on top.

Hum....Well, I would say having his son in the house could be one reason for the lack of sex. But if you were alone over the week end that would be less of a reason. Could you have said something or are saying something that you don't know your saying? Making him feel as he is just here for the ride type thing? Something about the house not being his?

Or he is getting it from another. Or his viagra ran out. Maybe he was using it and ran out and doesn't want you to know he was using it. Making him fdeel less of a man cause he needs a drug to get him going.

Or his T is lower. Other then that I don't know what to say.

 

I agree, it might be an issue with the kid being there too. Ask him if that's it. He might be embarassed if his kid said something..

Do you make a lot of noise?

Our kid just turned 19 and always complains about the noise we make. Told him to just be glad we do that or he wouldn't be here. If he doesn't like it, he can get a job and get his own place, (told him that too) but I'm not going to tell my wife to be quiet, and we're not going to stop.

Not sure if your situation applies or is anywhere close to the same, but never know.

Get the kid some headphones so he can listen to music or something.

 

HAs he put on weight recently as in males that can impact sex drive and appetitie quiote substantially (as does general fintess). Other things such as other stresses work, financial,family can have a similar effect.

While it is obvisouly disappointing for yourself it may be he need to seek medical advice to ensure it is not a medical condition that has caused his current lack of sexual desire.

 

Try to get him to maybe try a Doctor, sounds like he could use something.

 

Sounds like he is using you for a place to live! I would cut him off and move he and his son out of your domicile!

 

Maybe he's feeling like he isn't going to satisfy you and he's afraid to try anymore.

 

That too is another idea.

 

fuk

just come and fuck my 9 inch cock babes xx