Why me? Why I am I socially inept? Why can't I be normal?

 

Well, Eeyore....maybe you're Abbie Normal? *has no idea*

 

The best way to have a good friend is to be a good friend. Instead of thinking of your unhappiness, try to think of how to make someone else happy. Do not try to do too much at first. If you really have no friends, try to make one or more casual friends.

 

Define 'normal' and you may get more answers

 

Are you particularly hateful, do you commit malicious acts for small pleasures, do people avoid your company.

 

No no and I don't know.

 

ME owwwwww

 

It's not something that comes naturally for some people. You HAVE to work on it.

You can find some great social tips from the PUA community--AS LONG as you realize that: A) ALWAYS be nice to women and generally treat them with respect. You can joke around but don't try and mock them or demean them. And, B), you are never gonna be a "perfect" man so accept the things you cannot change. C) PUAs speak a lot of truth but they are really just after your wallet.

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Social ineptitude is a symptom of lack of self-confidence and poor self-image. My advice would be for you to actually ask people what they don't like about you and what they do like about you. It won't be easy or particularly pleasant; however, you will at least know where you stand and what you need to do to turn things around.

BTW: I did this many years ago and it wrecked me for several months. BUT, what I gained from the experience made the whole thing worthwhile. Be brave and good luck.

 

OP, don't do this...it's literally pathetic (no offense, BOB). If people have legitimate criticism against you believe me they would voice it themselves. Likewise you should be able to tell when people like you and what they like about you.

Make a SWOT chart on your own and don't stress so much. There are people worse off than you. I certainly was...

 

I think you're depressed, OP. You need to talk to someone about it. Do you have a parent or family member?

 

I think the most important thing you can do is accept yourself for who you are. People don't change so don't expect to turn into something you're not. You have to like yourself in order for others to like you. Think of your good qualities when you think of yourself. If you can do that, you'll have more real confidence and that's when you can build better social skills.

Good luck.

 

+1.

Making an SWOT chart and challenging negative thoughts also help. Browse some books on REBTs and learn some techniques to disarm your irrational thoughts. Mood charting is also a good idea...

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What is better? Self-loathing or the loathing of millions? What an interesting debate topic

Chin up chuck, it's bound to get a whole lot worse before it gets better :laughing:

 

Turn this frown into a smile

As a woman, there is nothing more attractive in a man than confidence. This is not the same as too big an ego, it's just the attitude and way of carrying yourself that projects "I am smart, funny, a good listener, not too talkative about myself and I am not afraid to talk to anyone". Good looks, hygiene and dressing appropriately help as well.

I have picked out the phrases from some of the men's postings that illustrate my point of view and advice....

There is no such thing as normal....we are all just living our lives to the best of our abilities. Life is what YOU make of it.

Or know of a professional that can assess your situation and prescribe medications if found necessary?

GOOD LUCK

PS - Origen -can you please write out what all the acronyms in your posts stand for? (SWOT, REBT, etc. )

 

I am sorry, but you are causing a disturbance with the others.

Please return to your room.

Tomorrow morning, you may join our group therapy discussion.

 

3 things: 1, I am medium to high functioning autistic, and thusly do not possess the social skills to being with. 2: The sum total of my life's current value gives me no reason to be confident. 3: I will not seek any medication. I do have family to talk to, but not much else.

 

I wish you good luck in learning the social skills needed, you will need it. :rose:

BTW - at what age were you diagnosed HFA?