I need some advice....
I'm 31 years old and have been married to my wife for almost 8 years. I'm starting to realize that our sex life is very plain, vanilla, and boring. I have talked to her about it and expressed my desire to experiment with different fantasies and desires and she has no interest in it. She has made it clear that our boring sex life is just fine for her. She is not adventurous and doesn't plan on changing. How can I go the rest of my life being bored with sex. There are so many things I want to try and the only way that will happen is if I have an affair or get divorced. Neither of which are really an option. Any thoughts?

 

Your description is somewhat vague...
So, if I may, I would like to know a few personal things:
1. Does she suck your dick?
2. Do you lick her cunt?
3. Does she let you fuck her ass?
4. Does she accept any toys in bed (either for her or for you)?

 

You pretty much have it analyzed correctly. Divorce and try to chase the dream or cheat and chase it. Both of those scenarios will probably suck in the end. You can try to reason with her and ease her into more adventurous activities but if it doesn't work then you're screwed. Screwed but married. Better than screwed and lonely.

 

Yeah, I know I have very few options. I'm not real sure what advice I am looking for since I pretty much know what my options are. I guess I'm just venting my frustrations and wondering if anyone else knows what I'm going through.

 

To be a little more detailed:

I love oral sex. I love going down on her. I love blowjobs. She does NOT like giving blowjobs and will do it once in a while just to shut me up. She likes receiving oral sex though.


She wants nothing to do with anything anal. I've never done it but want to try. I like rimming (giving and receiving) She does not. I like prostate play, She does not. I like 69, she does not.

We use a regular rabbit vibrator to help her have orgasms but that is it.

 

I completely understand. I am in a similar situation. My wife is somewhat willing to try more things after she caught me looking at porn. Haha. I never knew how to tell her how kinky I was until that but she is still unwilling to try some things. I told her that if she wasn't going to act out all my fantasies I was going to continue to watch porn so I can see someone do it. The best thing is to be open and honest. You will never feel guilty if you really tried.

 

Maybe ask her if she has any fantasies. See if you can get her to open up. Maybe she feels embarrassed or something discussing this with you. I know I used to be very bashful when it came to sex up until the last guy I was dating, he really opened my eyes. Best lover I ever had and still is

 

Well, I've tried several times over the years to get her to open up. I've brought it up in casual conversations as well as during sex. I've asked her what her fantasies are and she says.she doesn't have any. Then she asks what mine are. I tell her honestly and it just gets dropped. I've been as open and honest with her as I can be over the years and she just seems content with our usual sexual routine.

 

So, as I understand, she's not completely closed to your desires, but she's not as open as you probably would wish...
If you love her and your marriage is OK, my opinion is that you'll have to get used with the idea that life has not given you everything - in fact, you cannot have them all!
Please keep in mind that, as husband and wife, you will both grow old together, and a good life is not entirely based on sex...

Now, as a practical suggestion, maybe, from time to time, you can convince her to have a drink or two, not to get her drunk, but just let her loosen her strings a little.
While having vaginal sex, try to caress her ass hole with a finger - just the entrance - and see if it gives her any ideas...
Careful though! Some get turned on and some get turned off!

Anyway, since you're already married for eight years, I honestly find it difficult to expect I don't know what extraordinary changes in her sexual way of being...

 

Oh come on. All is not lost. She has layed out some "no-go" zones but there are other places you can explore. Do something different but not in her "no-go" zone and see how she reacts.

Have you tried dressing up and doing it in a special location? Have you put out the candles and and aroma-incense? Have you tried massage oils? Have you learned how to give her a good massage?


Be thankful. Your wife still loves having sex with you. Many men are in a worse off position.

 

It doesn't really seem she's said anything to the extent of,"This is it, all your getting, take it or leave it!" Just that she's content where you are and totally understandable at 8 years.Guys that tend to ask for the green light get nowhere,fast my suggestion is incorporate the lesser threats like small vibrators and move forward to include light bondage (knots she could easily get out of) Think small and expand from there, take it from someone who's been there and done that with a woman who's repertoire was at best missionary only?

 

I don't have anything ov value to say in this situation...But atleast if make her watch some videos with you and see if she likes to do anything in particular.

 

Get her drunk first.