Granted!! You're a whore :neutral:

I wish I had a spare voodoo doll!!

 

granted. sacrifice a chicken on the next full moon.

i wish chickens were of the sea and by the sea

 

Granted- Now all chicken is ruined and it has that fishy tuna flavor. Riots break out all over the world without their delicious chicken, and for some reason you are also now pregnant.

I wish I couldn't feel physical pain.

 

granted, your nerves are dead, you become a tv evangelist, and finger foods look more appetizing.

i wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself

 

Granted, but that joke has three inches of dust on it and you are terribly out of the times. Also, you are pregnant for some reason.

I wish brushing your teeth was fun.

 

granted, your teeth fall out though.

i wish wrapping paper was made from LSD

 

Granted- but still nobody gives you any wrapped presents, because nobody loves you.

I wish I could get laid.

 

Granted. But it's that incontinent old lady who is horny all the time.

I wish you would contribute to my Punxsutawney Phil thread.

 

I did, but it was like two days ago. The horrible part is what the groundhog does to us.

I wish I had a van.

 

granted, you now have my 1994 ford aerostar. it comes with a v8...but gets 11 miles to to the gallon.

i wish my homework was done.

 

Granted- I just did your homework, but watch out! I'm retarded!

I wish I could come down from this high and get some sleep.

 

*Push* Granted!! But you may want to get yourself off to hospital to get checked for any broken limbs accrued in the fall!!

I wish there wasn't so mushroom in here!!

 

Granted, the horrible part is that I don't even understand that wish.

I wish I had a bigger dick.

 

granted, but now it is so big you cannot get an errection

I wish the people who live across me wouldn´t have a party and I had to watch them having fun :lol:

 

Granted, you now thrown your own party and they have to watch you.

I wish people would stop telling me their problems.

 

granted, but now they're telling you about how much they love their partner 24/7

I wish i can teleport myself

 

Granted. But you teleport yourself to the sun and get burned to less than a cinder.

I wish I had a Valentine candy treat.

 

granted, but someone steals it and now you even want it more

I wish the sun would shine

 

The sun shines; you sunbathe nude and fall asleep; wake up with 2nd and 3rd degree burns,

I wish I may, and I wish I might.

 

grantd you may and you might, but you will have to wait for eternity till you can

I wish I had some chocolate treat