I was wondering if anyone here has any advice on how to bring up this subject with their significant other.

I was married young, have been married for many years, but I just don't think that this relationship is working for me anymore. Over the past year or so, I've really been discovering who I really am and what I really want from life.

He hasn't done anything wrong per se - he hasn't cheated, he doesn't abuse me. But I spend 99% of my time that I'm with him either feeling unappreciated, immature or being ignored all together.

I haven't really been the model wife either, but I just feel like we're living two separate lives. And I feel like I would be happier not being married to him.

Any advice?

 

Have you tried talking with him about how or why you feel unappreciated or ignored? Why do you feel immature around him?

Divorces can be messy and expensive and are emotionally and mentally taxing. Have you exhausted all other avenues of support? What about therapy and counseling?

How young were you when you got married? Why did you get married? Who are you and what do you truly want in life?

How have you conducted yourself within your marriage? Have you cheated on him?

 

Please note that I may have to respond via PM to protect my identity.
Also, anyone is welcome to PM me on this matter as well.
Thanks!

 

So you've been married to the same guy since you were a teen and now you've been cheating with a few guys or maybe just one guy. They/he are rocking your world and you want more before it's dried up for all eternity?....


right so far?

 

If you plan on having a conversation, I can tell you now, It won't go well.
The vast majority of what you hope to speak about, simply won't hit the table.
Mind you, if you're looking for an argument, a discussion will most likely take you there.
It might be a thought to write out all of what you hope to talk about.Leave it for a day or two, re-write it, and then present it for reading. It's the only way you'll be able to put everything out there without interruptions , and, or arguments.
Feelings are going to be hurt, and that's when people tend to strike out at their partners. So, it's something to be prepared for.
All that being said. The things that first attracted you to each other, haven't disappeared, but likely just not out there for your enjoyment. Wake them up through your letter and see what happens. Then decide.
Don't forget, as we get older, that pool of prospects get's smaller. Potential partners with some rather unattractive baggage, as well as singles, who are single for a reason.
Rather than bring up divorce, maybe your letter could be about re-awakening those desires of times past through becoming active in pursuing each others dreams, and, or reintroducing the activities that attracted you in the first place etc.
I wish you luck, and my hope would be you give this some serious thought before putting things out there that will likely be very difficult to take back. That is if it's possible to take back at all.
Take care.
Fell free to PM me if you want a private discussion.

 

look you past, sure you will find many thing good you spent with him good time , just search, and try to understand him, ask him why he change , try to know what is it worry him,

 

​

 

just say "we are done " and leave,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,so simple,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

Because you seek advice from people, who could be any body, you don't even know and on a porn forum no less, you are presented a disrespectful 0 (zero) shalamars. Try elsewhere, such as friends or family, those you trust, even a website that deals with divorce might be of service. Just don't look here for your serenity.

 

Start with suggesting counseling. Another issue to consider is that marriages tend to go in cycles where you have good years, and years that make you want to gouge your own eyes out with a rusty spoon. Talk about what you are feeling and suggest counseling and see where it goes. Too many people are far to quick to throw out a relationship because they don't get chills up their spine anymore only to move on to another relationship that ends EXACTLY the same way. If there is no abuse and he isn't a flaming drunk or gambling away the rent money then try to get the thing back on track and see where it goes. There are very few places someone else can take you that this relationship can't unless you start dating the owner of an international airline.

 

It sounds more like you're looking for people to give you the 'permission' to ask for a divorce that you're too scared to give yourself by telling you it's the right thing to do. FFS, no relationship is perfect. Nobody stays in the 'in love' phase forever. Maybe you met somebody new and those wonderful feelings (aka 'hormones') surfaced again, so now you think you made a mistake marrying your husband. I'm not saying you didn't make a mistake, especially if you were very young. But if you think your next relationship is going to be all moonshine and roses, think again. The newness will wear off, and you'll be stuck in the same rut. Is it really worth wasting all the money on a divorce, just to end up right back where you started?

 

My divorce was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I wish we had worked through the hard times instead of giving up. We should have compromised more and given more of ourselves instead of thinking of ourselves. I know in my heart that my ex was the one I should have been with, and i cant fix that error in judgement now.

Make sure this is absolutely what you want before you do something that can't be undone. Saying those words changes everything. I mean EVERYTHING.

 

I've met divorced people my age.....I don't get why people marry young.

 

Are you just looking for the "excitement" of a new relationship again or are there things going on that are truly unacceptable?

I do think you should talk to your closest friends and family members that know both you and your husband. We couldn't possibly know what your home life is like, therefore taking our advice, as good as it might be, is pointless.

Whatever you do, just remember that everyone has baggage, and there is no such thing as the "perfect" partner. So while I wouldn't want you to "settle", if your expectations are unrealistic, you will inevitably end up disappointed in whomever you are with.