I use to cut myself and as a result I have scars on my legs. I am nervous to be intimate again because I think a guy will be gross out. So I just wanted peoples opinions on scars. Ive been told I am a beautiful girl but I can't help feel ugly now. What do you think your response would be if your partner had more scaring than usual.

 

Very Good Question-for Which I Lacked the Brass Balls to Ask

Sweetheart, listen here I have a scar that I tormented myself with over the last few years and in retrospect if I had spent a nano-second of time being concerned with my actual self and not my perception of me, well I would not have the fucking scar to begin with!

So,While I was in the Army I had an unfortunate incident nothing out overseas or in the theater but an incident nonetheless. Too proud and determined I was and due to it I had surgeries and woundvacs and each time the scar I knew would get worse and I thought for sure my days of feeling sexy were over. They were not over, my sexy was just on a hiatus, since it sounds like the scars belong to not only the past, but to an outdated version of you, then I say embrace the sexy and don't worry about it, you wanting to fuck will deter any man from feeling any negativity towards your gams. In fact be uber confident about the whole thing and you may send him into another realm. Take lots and lots and pics of yourself and I bet they do not look as you think they do. Bio-oil and cocoa butter every day too.

So to answer the question every man I have been with whether younger or older, shallow or insightful, self-aware or ignorant, they all thought scars, including their own, to be sexy, like a piece of you they got to see that they may never have been privy too had you not given them works that day or night.

Congrats Girl seems like you are over the hurdle, now get up and get intimate!I have a feeling you a will be getting plenty of affirmations in the form of PMs

Lisa418

 

I woudn't care. If my partner had scars, they're the oast. I only care about out future together.

 

If you have a past as a cutter, this is a very delicate topic. So I don't know how wise it is to discuss with strangers off the net. Most of all on a site where most members are perverts open to everything and trolls seem to grow every minute.

That said, since you asked for it, here is my opinion. I think that I would be shocked if I was to have a one night stand with you and found your scared body. Shocked...but not disgusted! I'm one of the above quoted pervs, after all. But, seriously, I think that if you're referring to making love with a person you care about. So, my suggestion is: tell him the truth about your past. If he's repulsed, he simply doesn't deserve you. If he's not, than he won't care if your body has those marks.

To summarize, I think that if you warn the person about your story and its implications, there should be no problems.

 

Well, Summer, I honestly don't think it'd be much of an issue. Yeah, if I wasn't warned about it I'd probably make some smart ass remark like "You didn't tell me you were a ninja!" Or something like that. Honestly, though, it wouldn't make me think you any less beautiful or anything like that.

 

Any man worth his salt, who wants more from you than just sex will overlook those scars. If the man is a real keeper, he will be there for you if you wish to open up about the trauma that lead to you doing that to yourself. Bottom line, anyone who is "grossed out" by your scars is not worth your time. I was surprised when I saw my wife's scars the first time, but I never left...and that was 20 years ago.

 

Welcome to the forum and enjoy life as it is today.

 

Short of one night stands or short flings (in which case, fuck their opinion, they're a means to an end and little more) anyone who would see those scars should know you intimately enough to understand what they're about and be respectful of them. You went through a hard period in your life and if somebody is going to judge you for that time then they have no business being in you or in your life.

 

Thank you!

Thank you all for your kind words! It really made me feel a lot better. I was talking more in the realm of a relationship and not a one night stand. Don't know if I'll have the confidence for that again. But your words have assured me so thanks a bunch.

 

Summer

Check pm

 

Quite a coincidence. I was on a train on Saturday morning and just across the way was a young lady in her late teens/early 20s.
Both of her arms were literally covered with scars. Some were scars over scars and yes it was a bit of a mess but she made no attempt to hide them. She was wearing a short sleeved top and had her elbows on the table so they were plainly visible to all.
Of course, I don't know if part of the issues that caused her to self harm also included a need for her to show what she had done, perhaps that is a prolonged cry for help. She did however seem to be quite confident and happy.

Rather than negative thoughts about her because of it, I thought she showed quite a strong character by not hiding them.
Obviously there are some men that will not like them and possibly not just because of the appearance but extensive scarring doesn't feel good to the touch for some people so you will need to be confident enough about them to mention them before you enjoy too much intimacy.

The other thing that may cause aversion is the way that some people see them as being indicative of mental health issues rather than mental anguish/pain but look for the positives. Yes, you miss out on one or two seemingly good catches but in reality, that would actually be weeding out some of the shallow undesirables.

I have several large scars and one huge one which rather than causing revulsion, causes responses like "WOW. Cool scar!"
Mine was very ugly for a long time but even then, I never got a negative reaction. The more common reaction is "can I touch it?"
I'm sure it's helped me in the process of dating!

As happens when I show off my scars and certainly in my case seeing the young lady on the train, they seem to suggest an interesting back story, there's always a story behind any scar and people want to know that story when they see them.
I've told many a fanciful story about mine ranging from shark attack to machete wielding maniac. When I tell them the truth, it may be a slight disappointment but it also makes people feel they've been given an insight into who you really are.

I would advise making it clear that it was a particular phase in your life and be prepared to give reason that it happened and a reason why it remains in the past and you will find that the only guys that are put off you by them were shitheads that you had a lucky escape from.

I know it's not easy but the more you can show that you don't care about it, the more likely it is that people will accept that any underlying issues are well and truly in the past.

Chicks dig scars. No reason to think that guys don't too so grab the world by the throat and make the most of life. Those scars are there for ever (although they will obviously fade) so the sooner you say "you know what? Fuck 'em I don't care and anyone that does is a dick" the better.


P.s.
I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

 

I know how you feel. Since i have three scars on my skull. I hardly get hit on and at times after a girl see what i look like say "Not my type." Even if they say "Looks aren't important to me" turns out to be a lie. i also have a scar on my left arm as well.

 

Years ago I was with a woman who had a scar on her abdomen, this was where her uterus was removed (due to an illness that she battled a few years before we met). During a rather heavy emotional lovemaking session I caressed and kissed the scar and made sure she knew I loved her. The circumstance that cause that scar was very raw for her, even years afterward.

She did the same for most of mine. I count my scars based upon the surgery of origin, that leaves me with a dozen all over my body, if I counted each visible one (some have faded to nothing) I would estimate my total closer to thirty. Some scars I look onto fondly, others carry great personal pains for me.

After that lovemaking catharsis, we both 1. slept very well that night and 2. had a much better sex life.

I find it best to discuss scars and things long before sleeping together. The origin of scars have some significance regardless of the circumstance that we get them. Embrace who you are and your history, scars and all.