Sadly sweetie, I can't understand your example as I don't watch soaps. The 'knee in the groin' was more a reference to clumsiness - it could just have easily been an accidental elbow in the eye or to the forehead - which has happened a few times over the years Mr Babe and I have been together

 

Elbow to the forehead?.... There were a few times we awkwardly came together for a kiss, and ended up head butting each other instead.

 

I think that has happened to every couple NEW, I say to all of you enjoy it while you can you will miss it soon enough for one reason or another.

wanders off humming Memories.:rose:

 

1) vigorous shower sex turns into glass door knocked out of frame and two bodies pretzel'd together in a heap on the tile, one in the shower, one just outside, both laughing at the absurdity and crying over the pain.

2) in the heat of some under-the-covers tumble sex, I want to switch positions. Foot gets caught up in a twist of sheet and will NOT come loose. I yank, and tug, she giggles, I tug harder, she say, "are we done already?" I finally heave my foot loose and watch it swing out and across the nearby dresser where it clears off every item on top into a clattering, clinking, calamitous heap on the floor at the far end. Now she's just belly laughing. "Yeah, I guess we're done already".

3) She's giving me an awesome BJ. I'm on my back, but inch-worming my way up, up, up the bed in response until my head is pressed against the headboard. She hits the go-go gadget cock button with her tongue and I reflexively jump up, crashing my forehead into the small, overhanging shelf hard enough to see stars. She blurts a slobbery chuckle all over my belly, which quickly becomes a all-out laugh. BJ over, head throbbing, partner laughing (but not pointing and laughing, thankfully) - what a night :razz:

 

Either I am a writing exhibitionist, or this is a great thread, or NE Man and I have a hysterical sex life.... Or all the above.

Back to my story.

We are on our honeymoon to "the Berkshires", a mountain region in Western Massachusetts...

We decide to go for a walk into the woods. About an hour into the hike and I decide, lets have some fun in nature. Now mind you we haven't seen another human being the entire time we've been out. But he says "no way, someone might see us". To which I reply, "who??? Do you think Bambi is going to watch"? Needless to say, I didn't get any at that time.

Who would have guessed a man could get stage fright from woodland creatures?


Oh and Old Tool.... Very funny stories.

 

Sex IS funny - thankyou so much Old Tool, for making my sides hurt. I loved the scene in 'Tall Guy' with Jeff Goldblum where he and his chosen partner are so hot for each other they just go for it on the floor of her bedsit (I think) - they skid their way through the mess on the floor - cornflakes everywhere, juice box exploding, messy urgent sex. Hilarious, must search the film out.

 

This is exactly right for the thread.

Warning - men might wince just a few seconds in

[YOUTUBE]q64hTNEj6KQ[/YOUTUBE]

 

Just had to say what a good thread!
I've read some very interesting posts in here.


I hope it'll continue to stay on topic.


P.S. I have to rate this excellent.

 

I'm guessing the 40% light bondage figure is due to Fifty Shades of Grey.

 

Light bondage?

Whoa, that brings back a less than pleasant memory.

Wifey loved to be tied with neckties to the bedstead, on occasion, usually after she imbibed a bit. So, one night she thought turnabout was fair play, and insisted that she tie me to the bed posts. Big difference between me tying knots and her tying them, I have experience in making knots that can easily be untied, she did not.

After securing my hands and feet, she got the brainstorm to make a cock ring out of shoelace.

Several things predictably happened.

First the shoelace/cock ring got very tight as my "massive" tool inflated beyond it's normal impressive girth. It's normal light pink color turned to deep purple.

Next, she could not untie a single knot, so as I panicked, the nooses on my extremities (all five of them) tightened, cutting off circulation to the point that they were all becoming numb. (Thank God she did not include my nuts in the cock ring thingy, or the expression "numb nuts" would have taken on a whole new meaning)

She finally found a pair of scissors and cut the ties from the bed, BUT the damn things were now deeply imbedded in my flesh and the knots were hopelessly cinched. With trembling fingers, which of course had lost the sense of touch, I used a razor blade to gently cut the fine silk fabric. The third binding to be cut was the one around my pride and joy. Needless to say, it was very stressful.

Now I was looking at five $60 plus silk ties which had been rendered useless for there intended purpose, and my manhood that was still colored in unnatural hues.

For some reason, our sex play was over for that night.

(I have since taught her how to tie knots that chan be undone quickly, with just one pull.)

 

I guess surprising NE Man with vibrating balls, doesn't look so bad as compared to poor Tenguy's strangled cock...

 

Ouch Tenguy - I've scared myself silly reading about bondage. Silk is notoriously difficult to untie - and the rule with knots is that you should be able to slide one or two fingers under the tie, because (as you found out) the flesh will swell; and of course with that there's the danger of losing circulation. You have to think what you might do if your partner became incapacitated - that could at the very least be embarrassing, and fatal at worst. Bondage is serious stuff!

 

Another rule in the BDSM community; neither party should be intoxicated in any form - it can cloud your judgement and change physiological reactions.

 

The proper knot is not a slip knot, but a non-slip bowline knot, with the last loop a bight.

 

"Hello sailor", maybe you ought to give a masterclass in knots....be sure to include your missus

Bondage by Tenguy

 

I'm knot interested.

 

great thread babe...
goo you and Mr babe still rockin
We are too... after having known each other for 48 years, being together for 40 and married for 34...
it can be a bit predictable... but anticipation is better than surprise...

 

Albright, I see what you fid there.

 

Hawser doing?