All sexually active characters in this story are age eighteen or older.

1

Suzanna sneaks out of the house in the middle of the night.
The streets are pitch dark, not a single light is slipping through the covered windows.
Her heart beats fast in her chest, and her mouth is dry, knowing that what she is doing is dangerous.

She tries to run, hurrying to get off the streets as soon as possible, before anybody sees her, but she has to be careful, very careful.
No one can know what she is doing, even her parents have no idea what this 18 year old girl is up to.
They think that she is fast asleep, just as the rest of the family.

Suzanna hops from house to house, using back alleys, making sure that she stays in the dark.
On every corner she stops, peeks around the corner and when she thinks it is safe she quickly hurries to the other side of the street,
constantly looking over her shoulder to see if someone is following her.

The distance she has to cover is normally about a mile and a half, but Suzanna takes a dangerous shortcut.
She tiptoes through the alleys till she reaches the eastern end of her hometown.
Until then she was able to stay out of sight, but now she has to cross a half mile long open field.

“Oh please God help me.” She mumbles softly as she tries to stare into the dark that lies ahead of her.
Suzanna squats down, makes herself as little as possible and waits patiently.
Patience was never a friend of hers, but now it might be a life saver.
It would only take one soldier to see her, friend or enemy, and it all would be over.
They would shoot her, right here on the spot, no questions asked.

Suddenly she jumps up and runs across the open field and vanishes into the tree line at the other side.
Her heart is raging, and she gasps for air while the world spins around her.
After a few minutes she is ready to move on and slowly she walks through the bushes and trees till she reaches the hidden shed.

“Hi baby.” A male voice whispers to her from the dark.
Suzanna smiles, hearing his voice soothes her mind and fills her heart with joy.
His strong accent alone would be able to melt her heart.

“Hi my love.” She whispers back and gently she wraps her arms around him.
She has to be careful for his wounded leg, but she would love to throw herself in his arms.
Surrendering herself to the safety of their love.

Their lips touch, and both lovers open their mouth.
Their tongues reach out to another, and melt into one.
Thomas moans, his leg burns and he knows that he probably shouldn’t be standing on it.

“Come, lay down.” Suzanna whispers and supports him down to the wooden floor.
Thomas lays himself on his back, and opens his arms.
Suzanna crawls into them and lays her head on his chest.
“Kiss me.” She whispers and lifts her head.
Their tongues touch once again, and they both fall into an erotic kiss.

Thomas closes his arms around her and caresses her back.
He feels the passion rising from her young body and it has the right effect on him.
He feels guilty, he shouldn’t be feeling like this, not now anyway and certainly not here. But he can’t help it.

Suzanna has the same doubts.
Torn between her love for Thomas, and the knowledge that this affair could kill them both, she can’t really decide what to do.
She shouldn't be here, lying on old dirty blankets that she brought on her daily trips, in the arms of a wounded soldier.
It is wrong to feel this love while the war seems to be getting heavier and heavier.

2

She has been hearing horrible stories for the last few months.
They call it the hunger winter, a punishment from the Germans for the railroad strike on September 17th.
The Germans immediately stopped all food transports for six weeks during this severe winter,
causing one of the biggest famines in the Netherlands, especially in the rural areas in the west.

Woman from the big cities where scavenging the country, walking up to 50 miles looking for anything to eat.
They sold the last few worthless items they possessed,
including their body, for the smallest amount of food to take home to their children.

Some woman told them that people in Amsterdam even ate dogs, cats and flower bulbs.
Bodies were stored in churches because the ground was frozen,
and it was a waste to use the little wood that was out there to make coffins.

3

Suzanna raised herself a bit, she didn’t want to think about the horrors anymore.
Her town wasn’t affected that much, due to the many farms that surrounded them.
She was too young to carry these burdens upon her tiny shoulders, and there was nothing that she could do about it.
It only enhanced the difficult situation that they were getting into.

“Make me forget all this insanity.” She whispers and gently climbs on Thomas’s lap.
She is careful not to touch his wounded lower leg and is as precautious as she can be.
Thomas smiles, how can he resist this beautiful angel that saved his life,
and that completely stole his heart?

“Owh baby,” He sighs with his strong accent “I would love too.”
Suzanna lifts herself, takes her dress and drapes it over Thomas’s naked legs.
She still wasn’t able to get him some new pants, but in all fairness, she is also not trying very hard.

She reaches under her dress with both hands.
Her fingers wrap around Thomas’s hard cock and with her other hand she pushes aside her home made underwear.
She guides the soldier’s cock to her pussy and places the head against her moist slit.
Slowly she is swaying her hips until the head slips inside her.

“Ah.” Suzanna moans and her eyes widen as she feels how Thomas’s cock sinks inside and fills her completely.
She places her hands on his chest and begins to ride him.
Slow and gentle she pushes herself up and let herself slide down his cock again.
Thomas dives his hands under her dress, and circles them around her body to her bottom.
He softly caresses her naked cheeks while Suzanna tries to go a bit faster.

“Ah yes.” Suzanna sighs, moving a bit faster.
She would love to start bouncing up and down as hard as she can,
trying to satisfy this hunger she feels deep inside her pussy, but she know that she can’t do this.
She loves this foreigner and couldn’t do anything that would hurt him.

Thomas lies still on his back, unable to move as he would love too.
He tries to move his hips, trying to push them up and down,
but after a few times his wounded leg starts to burn again.

“Don’t move my love.” Suzanna whispers and bends forward.
Her hands slide over his chest, crawling forward till she reaches his neck.
She covers him with her body, pressing her breasts onto his chest, and making sure he doesn't move.
Thomas now wraps his arms around her and holds her close.

Suzanna begins to rock her lower body back and forth, pushing Thomas’s cock inside her as deep as she can.
She pins herself onto him, and tightens her pussy around his throbbing cock.
The two lovers start to kiss again and continue their silent romantic encounter.

4

It is only a few weeks ago that Suzanna lost her virginity to this man.
She never expected that it would feel so great to have sex.
Suzanna was 13 when the war broke out, too young to be dating or too have a boyfriend, but now she is catching up.

The erotic tension between the two lovers is building.
Suzanna rises up again, and Thomas slowly unbuttons the front of Suzanna’s dress.
His hands slide inside and touch her naked breasts.
His cock bucks up, creating a smile on Suzanna’s face, who didn’t expect it.

“You like it huh.” She moans softly while she lays her hands on his hands.
“Owh, you know that I do.” Thomas sighs.

Suzanna knows that he adores her tiny breasts and she loves it how he stimulates her nipples.
Her fingers mangle with his, and she pushes both pair of hands tighter on her breasts.
His fingers begin to massage her tits, making her wetter with every touch.
Suzanna feels how he gets harder inside her, filling her completely and she knows that she belongs to him,
no matter what the outcome of this War will be.

Each time the young lovers have sex is a search to reach that point were Thomas is still comfortable.
Suzanna was shocked when she found him in the shed 10 weeks ago.
He sat in the corner and looked terrified.
He was dirty and his pants were ripped and covered in blood.
He was having a fever and was falling in and out of conscious.

5

He had no choice then to trust her, what else could he do?
He was alone, out of bullets, out of food and water and was shot.
At first he didn't even knew if he was delirious or not,
she looked like an angel who was send from the heavens above,
while he was trying to survive the hell of war.

She spoke to him and pointed at his leg, but he had no idea what she was saying.
He mumbled a few words, but this girl didn't understand him either.
The girl left and Thomas, afraid she might have gone to get enemy soldiers,
passed out again sinking into the horrifying memories that raged in his head.

When he woke up again, a few hours later,
the girl was back and had brought some stuff with her.
She gave him a cup of water and a piece of bread, which he devoured right away.
He couldn't remember when it was the last time he had something to eat or drink.

The girl held up some clean cloths and a bucket of water and nodded at his leg.
Thomas knew what she mends and nodded that it was O.K. to clean his wound.
He pointed at himself; “Thomas.”
The girl smiled, put down the bucket and introduced herself; “Suzanna.”

Suzanna squatted down and began to clean his wound.
She first cut open his pants to have better access,
and then she took of the improvised tourniquet that Thomas made of a part of his jacket.
He was shot in his lower leg and it seemed that the bullet went straight through the calf, but she wasn't sure.

She never had seen a shot wound in her life, and had no idea what to do.
Her mind was filling up with questions;
was the bullet still inside?
Was that a bad thing?
Was he going to die?
Should she close the gap?
What about medicines?

She shook those thoughts away and focused on cleaning first,
she would deal with the rest later.
Softly she padded the area around the wound,
cleaning it as gentle as she could.

Thomas did O.K., and it didn't look like she was hurting him.
Suzanna looked up and pointed at the wound.
“Wond.” She said, and showed him a clean cloth.
Thomas didn't understand her language,
but this word sounded similar in his language, and he knew what she was going to do.

He slowly nodded, and prepared himself for the pain he was about to feel.
Suzanna cleaned the wound as fast and gentle as she could, ignoring the grins and moans of Thomas.
She felt sorry that she had to do this, but she had no choice.
Thomas passed out again and when he woke up,
he noticed that Suzanna had covered him with blankets,
and left him some food and water.

6

Suzanna nipples harden under Thomas’s molding fingers,
and she throws her head back to indulge herself in the pleasure that spreads throughout her body.
Her long brown hair sways by the slow rhythm of the two bodies melting together,
and she surrenders to the hard cock that slowly dives deeper inside her wet vagina.

7

Every day, Suzanna visits Thomas, although she knows that it is dangerous.
At first she thought she did it only because he was wounded and in need of help.
Could she tell her parents about him? Probably not.

She trusts them, but war is war and the less her parents knew about Thomas, the safer it is for all of them.
Suzanna knew it, and had heard many stories about this, but it didn’t stop her.
She couldn’t leave another human being, lying to die in some abandon shed.
That was just wrong.

Thomas was not much older than she was.
She knew this because she went through his stuff when he was passed out,
trying to find some medicines or other things she could use.
It made her feel uncomfortable, but it also opened up her eyes.

She found some pictures.
Pictures of Thomas with, what she thought were his parents and younger sister.
Happy pictures of a family who, at that time,
had no idea that their son would be ending up, shot in a foreign country.
Suzanna stared at the pictures and then at Thomas.
She smiled, he was quite hansom and she could imagine how girls would be drooling all over him when he would return to his own country.
That thought stung her heart and she was shocked to feel this.

Was she feeling jealous? J
ealous of an unknown girl that one day might welcome Thomas in her arms?
She got confused and blamed her feelings on the strange situation that she was getting into.
But when she found a reading book, which was stuffed in one of his pockets, she completely fell for this stranger.
She opened it and although she couldn't understand the words of it, she immediately saw that it were poems.
Each page contained one poem, and she did recognize some words of it.

She closed the book and once again stared at Thomas.
She pressed the love poems to her chest,
caressed the hard leather cover and got lost in her own thoughts.

8

Suzanna now lifts herself as high as she can.
Thomas’s cock is about to slip out of her vagina but she won’t let that happen.
Quickly she slams herself down again till she feels his belly crashing into hers.
As soon as his cock hits her at the top, she lifts herself again and repeats the movements,
over and over again, while her body warms with the tickling feeling of lust and passion.

9

Suzanna took good care of Thomas.
Every day she cleaned the wound, brought him some food and fresh water and did the best she could.
They began to communicate. Word by word they try to learn each other’s language.

Suzanna showed him a piece of bread; “Brood,” she said and offered it to him.
Thomas smiled, accepted the piece and tried to repeat the word,
and then he would say the same word in his language so that Suzanna could repeat it.
They did that with everything they could find,
and many times they burst out in laughter about the silly mistakes they made.

But things quickly changed.
When Suzanna found Thomas, she chose to help him, not realizing what the consequences would be.
She didn't think about it and reacted out of the goodness of her heart.
She knew that he must have been one of the soldiers fighting around Arnhem,
and she couldn't imagine what he must have gone through.

Suzanna knew right away that the soldier she found was German,
and her conscience, filled with five years of national hatred against them,
told her to run away and to rat him out.
But there was something about him that made her stay and help him.

He didn't look like a real soldier.
His face was gentle and soft, his voice sounded warm and she almost could feel how he resented this war.
He told her how he was forced to join the army, because they were running out of soldiers,
and every boy and man that could walk was slapped into a uniform and send out to the front line.
If you refused, you got shot and if you did “volunteer”, you had a big chance that you would be killed in battle.
“Was könnte ich tun?” he asked,
and Suzanna saw the desperation in his eyes.

Every sane human being in Germany knew that the war was lost,
but Hitler and his staff refused to give up, desperately trying to hold on to this idiotic idea of the Third Reich.
Thomas was drafted into the 9th SS Pantzer division on July 10th 1944.
The division had lost 1200 men during the fight around Caen and was pulled back in reserve to recuperate.
They were send out again, to replace the 10th division, who were getting slaughtered in Operation Jupiter.
On July 15th they fought in Operation Goodwood, suffering heavy loses while they defended their position.
During the end of the battle of Normandy, Thomas and his comrades were fighting themselves,
through France and Belgium, before the exhausted division was pulled out of the war.
They lost about 8500 men and were stationed near Arnhem to rest and recover.

10

Thomas closes his eyes while Suzanna slowly begins to bounce up and down his cock.
His leg burns and stings, but he won’t let that stop him from enjoying this moment.
His fingers circle around her breasts, molding them as they almost jump out of his hands.

His semen boils deep inside his balls, and slowly they begin their journey through his shaft.
He opens his eyes again and watches how Suzanna fucks him.
His eyes lower themselves to the spot where her vagina should be,
hidden from his sight by her dress.

“Would you like to watch?” Suzanna smiles as she sees how Thomas stares at her crotch.
Thomas nods, and Suzanna grabs the bottom of her dress that drapes over his belly.
She lifts her dress up, and slowly reveals her young body to him.

It isn’t the first time that he sees her naked,
but he simply can’t get enough of her.
Her body is beautiful, and his cock bucks harder when he watches how he sinks inside her.
Suzanna is the first woman that he is making love with,
and his hormones are raging through his body.

Seeing how Suzanna’s hairy slit folds around his cock,
every time she slams down, makes him even hornier.
The little dark and fuzzy triangle between her legs is mesmerizing,
addicting and he tries to imprint every detail,
to help him through the dark, lonely and scary times that he is alone.

11

They both knew the difficult situation they were getting into.
A young Dutch woman, falling in love with the enemy?
That was simply the most impossible situation you could think off.
But love is a strange thing, love doesn’t care for minor details like that.
Love just slaps you in the face and says;
“Deal with it, and lets find out how real your love is.”

On September 17th, the same day as the railroad strike, the battle of Arnhem started.
Thomas and a few of his comrades were lounging around camp when suddenly all hell broke loose.
Paratroopers were dropped all around the area,
trying to get hold of the bridge that connected the north and south of the Netherlands.
Thomas and his division were send out to occupy Arnhem and to secure the Rhine Bridge,
which just was repaired after the Dutch destroyed the bridge in 1940.

They managed to fight off the Brits during an eight day battle,
and destroyed the 1st Airborne division.
Thomas hated to fight,
he couldn’t bear the thought of killing another human being and this whole mess seemed so surreal.

He already saw more death and destruction in these last few months,
then any normal person would see in their entire life.
Comrades, that where blown to pieces right next to him, covering him in their blood and remains.
Comrades, that where getting hit by the shrapnel of bombs and grenades.
At night he could hear them scream and smell their burning flesh.
At night he was followed by their desperate eyes,
begging him to help them, but he couldn't.

Thomas was a clever young man who managed to survive the battles he fought.
He wasn't a coward but he wasn't stupid either.
His officers ordered them constantly to fight till the death,
and to try to take the Allies by surprise,
but Thomas knew that would be the most ridiculous thing to do.
He did run with his division straight into the Allied lines,
but he was smart enough to seek shelter wherever he could.

He did fire, as ordered, the amount of bullets they were given,
but always made sure he kept at least one bullet… just in case.
Thomas hated war so much that he simply refused to shoot anybody.
Every shot he fired was aimed way above the enemy,
to make sure that he didn't shot anybody.
He realized that the Allied forces were boys and young men, just like him.
Boys and men who didn't want to be here for months during a hard winter,
fighting for…. fighting for what?

Wasn't the idea of this War completely insane?
At first it seemed justified, although Thomas was too young to understand why this War even broke out.
He had learned something about taking back what belonged to the Germans to begin with,
but the real reasons where slowly killed with every human that lost its life,
and right now it felt that this War was nothing more than two groups of soldiers,
dropped into a battlefield and fighting for nothing else then to try to stay alive.

He got shot during a heavy fight and got separated during the crazy hours that followed.
His instincts told him to get as far away from the battle zone as he could,
but he got lost during that cold and dark night.
Stumbling, crawling and limping through creeks,
bushes and fields until he finally found an old shed.

He crawled inside and was convinced that he would die during the night.
His leg was bleeding again, he was half frozen,
exhausted and the idea to close his eyes and welcome the soothing relief of death wasn't such a bad idea.

It would stop this madness and take him away from all of this violence.
He passed out, and when he woke up the next morning,
and saw an angel looking down at him he thought that he had died.

12

Suzanna feels Thomas’s eyes burning on her naked body, and she loves it.
In the beginning she was insecure.
Her clothes were old, dirty and patched up.

Being a tailor, her mother had made it herself and it didn’t look very sexy or feminine.
Every time that someone in her town “found” fabrics, they brought it to her mom.
Suzanna had seen the most amazing things.
A ripped silk parachute, left behind by soldiers was professionally turned into a beautiful dress.
Dated clothes were updated, colored or completely changed,
and her mother was a pro in combining two dresses, into one brand new dress.

Suzanna underwear was everything besides sexy and she didn’t have bra’s.
Her breasts started to develop around the time that nobody wanted to waste the materials on bras.
Her mother had some, but they were too big for her, so she had to do without them.

She stopped caring about it, ever since she discovered how Thomas loves her breasts.
The feeling of his hands sliding inside her dress to capture her naked tits makes her weak.
His finger crawling over her skin makes her wanting for more,
and when he gently squeezes her hardened nipples…
it feels like fire is spread out to her body and a flood of juice to her pussy.

13

Thomas tried to ignore his feelings.
He couldn't fall in love with a Dutch girl?
What is he thinking? This would never work out.
Germany would most likely lose the War, putting him in a very tricky situation.
They, whoever that may be, would find him,
arrest him and put him in a war camp or something.

But Suzanna was an amazing girl.
She was beautiful, although that was just a nice bonus.
The most important thing for Thomas was that she had a beautiful heart.
Who would risk their own life, just to save an enemy?

Suzanna was smart,
and every time it amazed him how she find clever solutions for the problems they ran into,
and when they began to communicate, and got to know each other better,
he completely fell for this amazing girl.

They talked for hours, telling each other there deepest thoughts and secrets.
They talked about their hopes for the future, the things they wanted to accomplish,
and the more they talked, the deeper they fell in love.

14

Suzanna feels how her orgasm is slowly beginning to build up.
Every time she slams down on Thomas’s cock, she hits that special place just above her vagina.
Thrills spread out to her body and encourage her to go faster and wilder.
She knows that Thomas is also getting close to reaching his orgasm.
She can feel it on his cock.

The first time that she felt his cock hardening inside her,
just before he exploded, was a strange feeling.
She was surprised that he even could get harder then he already was,
but she liked how that big living thing, slamming inside her, filled her even more.

It felt like that this war is taking more away then you would imagine.
Before she met Thomas, Suzanna was completely non-sexual.
During her elementary school days, which ended just before the war started, she was a normal thirteen year old girl.

She had boys in her class,
but they all had separate classes and were not supposed to really mangle.
During breaks the boys would be playing outside their games,
while the girls were playing other games.
Off course there were signs of their growing attraction to each other.

The boys would show off their “manhood” by playing wild games.
The girls would secretly peek,
whisper behind their hands and giggling about them, while they pretend to be not interested.
Sometimes you would get a boyfriend, but that had to be secret,
and the only thing you did was holding hands and steal an occasional kiss out in the fields.

They had to figure out for themselves how sex worked.
Parents didn’t tell them anything, and asking questions at school resulted in severe punishment.
But they all learned about the birds and the bees somehow.
By the time the war broke out, Suzanna knew how it all worked and she even had seen a boys penis.
She forgot how it happened, and she only looked at it quickly,
because she didn't want to get pregnant.
Suzanna knew that you can’t get pregnant from looking at it or even touching it,
but you really don’t know do you?

15

Thomas grabs Suzanna’s ass,
and begins to push her down while she straddles his cock,
slamming her harder onto him.
They are close in reaching their orgasms simultaneously.

Suzanna feels how her body pulls all her energy around that little special spot.
Her vagina is soaking and all she wants to do is slam her down,
on that big fat cock until she explodes.

Thomas tries desperately to hold off his orgasm.
His seed is burning in his shaft and he tries to controls it, but it doesn’t work.
He is completely in love with this girl, and seeing how she fucks him,
seeing how her pussy swallows his cock, seeing how her little breasts bounce up and down,
and seeing the sexual lust on her face is too much for this young man.

He feels how his balls explode when Suzanna slams down one more time.
He wants to scream, but only produces a smothered moan.
His seed squirts out of his glans and deep inside Suzanna’s pussy.
She feels how his cock blasts out his cum and how it warms her on the inside.

She throws her head back and keeps on slamming down on Thomas’s exploding cock,
feeling how every drop squirts inside her.
She is almost there… owh yes… just a few more slams…
she feels how her love button swells….
how her pussy seems to be pushing out her fluids…
how it gets ready for the inevitable…
there… almost there… one more slam and….

Suzanna screams when she finally explodes.
Her body spasms and she falls forward into Thomas’s arms,
who keep on pushing his exploding cock inside her.
Wave after wave explodes out of her body and onto Thomas’s cock,
drenching him with her fluids.

Exhausted she falls on top of him, her body sending out the last echoes of her overwhelming orgasm.
Thomas holds her closely and caresses her shivering body.
“Ich liebe dich,” He whispers while his cock softens inside her until it slips out of her.
Suzanna smiles when she hears those words and feels his wet cock crushed between them. “Ik hou ook van jou.”

16

“So Granny, what happened after the war?” the little kid asks.

His Grandmother, Sofia, smiles and lifts the boy unto her lap.
“Well Tommy,” she says and looks at the cute nine year old.
From the day he was born, she was struck by how much he looked like her own father.

“Both Suzanna and Thomas knew that it wouldn’t take long before the Netherlands were liberated.
If that would happen then they might have found Thomas and God knows what would have happen.
They decided that it would be best if Thomas would try to make it to Germany.

Suzanna did the boldest thing she ever did in her whole life,
and stole her father’s bicycle to give it to Thomas.
She knew he couldn’t walk all the way to Germany,
and a bike would make it easier.

Thomas promised that he would come back for her, as soon as the War was over.
He gave her one last kiss, jumped on his bike and rode off into the night on January 1st .

The next five months were horrible for both of them.
Thomas did make it on his bike to Dortmund, were he was born,
and was able to reconnect with his family.
Suzanna discovered soon that she was pregnant,
and had to try to hide this from her family.
They did notice it and were devastated that she had gotten pregnant from a German soldier.
What should they do?

Suzanna kept on telling them that it was real love, and how special this guy was.
Her parents believed her, but that didn’t change the situation at all.
The War was about to end, and nobody could really tell what the future would bring.
One thing was very clear though, everybody hated Germans,
and they wouldn’t accept a young beautiful Dutch girl who had slept with the enemy.
Suzanna would be seen as a traitor. People would point at her and call her a German Whore.

Day after day they were arguing about what to do.
Her father even brought up abortion,
but dropped that as soon as Suzanna started to pack a bag and threatened to run away to Germany.

Finally they decided that it would be best if Suzanna would go live with her uncle and aunt in Maastricht,
one of the first cities, which was liberated in September 1944.
She could have her baby there, where nobody knew her,
and where nobody would ask questions.
They would tell everybody that they send Suzanna there to live in freedom and when she would come back,
they could tell that she got pregnant there.

In May 1945 the War was officially over.
Suzanna was still in Maastricht, which was a blessing.
Everywhere you saw how people would grab woman that had slept with Germans,
drag them on the streets and publicly shave their heads to ridicule them.
It would have certainly have happened to her as well.

Thomas had to wait till October until he finally could go back to look for the love of his life.
He had spent most of the time in a hospital where they fixed his leg.
They told him that he would have a small limp the rest of his life,
something that could have been avoided if he had gotten to a hospital right after he got shot.
But he didn't care, if he would have ended up in a hospital right away,
he would never have met Suzanna.

He feared going back to the Netherlands.
Was Suzanna still there?
Did their love survive the War?
How would her family react?

Suzanna wasn't home, and Thomas met her father.
After a few awkward minutes, Thomas gave back the bicycle that belonged to Suzanna’s father,
and thanked him from the bottom of his heart.
Her father smiled when he saw how Thomas fixed up the bike,
and thought a few seconds about a reply.
“My pleasure,” he said in a broken mix of German and Dutch, “and welcome to the family.”

Suzanna’s father told him that she most likely was in that abandoned shed, she went there every day and sat there for hours…
waiting… hoping… praying.

When he arrived at the shed, Suzanna was about to leave.
Thomas stopped and watched how she carefully closed the door.
Then she picked up a big Rotan basket,
turned towards him and saw Thomas standing in the tree line.

Her jaw dropped wide open and her legs began to tremble.
Tears slowly filled her eyes as she took a few unstable steps towards him.
Thomas rushed over and took her in his arms, before she would collapse.

“Finally.” He whispered as he began to cover her with kisses.
Suzanna’s smiling tears ran down her face.
All these months she had been waiting for this moment.
They called her crazy for going back to the shed, day after day.
But she knew that Thomas would return… eventually.

She lifted the basket and put it in Thomas hands.
Thomas frowned and looked inside the basket.

“Thomas,” Suzanna smiled as she wrapped herself back in his arms,
“meet your daughter, Sofia.”

 

Interesting story.

 

nicely written. I liked the way you put combined the sex with the story telling. It was confusing at first, but the more I read the better it got. Thanks.

 

Enjoyable effort, AdrianCf - constructing your story with fabulous sex and war-time, placing the two main characters within these. Good read.

 

bump

 

Nicely done.

 

Bump

 

An excellent story of young love and the horrors of war.

 

:excited:

 

CAW Bump

 

For starters, I really liked the story. It was a lovely tale of love found in the midst of a horrible war.

Having said that, I did have a few issues.
1. The formatting of the story was a little difficult to get through. At first, I thought it was going to be told in poems, then I realized that you just used awkward spacing.
2. There are a lot of misused words and spelling errors.
3. The tenses go back and forth, between present and past, even in the same sentence.
4. Just because I'm nit-picking a little- the only age you give in the whole story is 13. Now I realize that she could have been 18 by the time the two lovers meet, but it's damn close. In the future, you might just leave out specifics, so no one can call you out about underage characters.

I believe in giving honest feedback, I hope you take this posting as constructive criticism and not just picking apart your story. You have talent for telling a great tale, you just need a good proof-reader and a spell check.

I hope you submit more stories in the future.

NEW

 

Me too.

But I also found the formatting very distracting. It made it much more difficult to read the story. Not sure what program you used to write this in, but, you'll need to find a way to make sure that each sentence doesn't have a line break in it in the future.

You have a good imagination. Get some technical help and you'll develop a good following for your stories.

 

I'm confused.

Suzanna sneaks out of the house in the middle of the night.
The streets are pitch dark, not a single light is slipping through the covered windows.
Her heart beats fast in her chest, and her mouth is dry, knowing that what she is doing is dangerous.

She tries to run, hurrying to get off the streets as soon as possible, before anybody sees her, but she has to be careful, very careful.
No one can know what she is doing, even her parents have no idea what this 18 year old girl is up to.
They think that she is fast asleep, just as the rest of the family.

Suzanna hops from house to house, using back alleys, making sure that she stays in the dark.

The streets are pitch dark, not a single light is slipping through the covered windows.

Well if not a single light is slipping through the covered windows they would be dark, wouldn't they?

Suzanna hops from house to house, using back alleys, making sure that she stays in the dark.

Why does she have to hop from house to house using back alleys if its fucking well "pitch dark" anyway?

You lost me, I'm afraid.

 

It may seem unfair to also comment on formatting issues and other errors, but to a degree they stood in the way of enjoying this story. I would suggest you try a few things next time:

Read your story aloud after not looking at it for a day. You'll get a fresh view of it and may find things you want to change.

Get someone to proofread for you. Don't give them a synopsis beforehand so they're also fresh when they read it. That way, they may be more likely to spot any continuity errors. Encourage your proofreader to be brutal. Getting a whitewash review does no good.

Preview your entry before you submit it. You'll see stuff caused by software glitches.
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Please don't feel I'm being hypercritical. It's become a tradition in CAWs to give honest, constructive comments. You have a good base here, and it's obvious you have stories to tell. You show good creativity and a lot of guts entering one of these things. I imagine I echo the feelings of others when I say you should write more.

 

Well done, well done indeed.

 

I have a feeling you did not write this on a computer with a word program. That type of formatting threw me off a bit. I also didn't understand the change in font, upon first view, until I got into the story. I really liked this. I'm not sure how much you've written, but please continue. You'll only get better than you already are.

 

Thank you all for your feedback

First of all, English is NOT my native language.
So yes, I still have some grammar and format issues, but I hope that this improves over time.

I write my stories on WORD, and that works great for lets say 75%.
If I doubt the meaning of a word, I dump it in google and look what the online dictionary say. I have tried several online spelling and grammar sites but they don't seem to work so great.

I could use a proofreader, but they are hard to find

Another issue is indeed formatting. Something that will be very hard to change.
One example for instance. In my language we break a sentence after a period and a comma. Americans don't do this.

The space between sentences (the third and the fourth sentence for instance) is also a habit out of my language.
We do this to "enhance" the readability.
We merge sentences together that belong to each other, creating small paragraphs.

It is no excuse, but an explanation.
I WANT to improve with these things, but it will be hard.
I only write in English for the last three years, so it will take time to wipe out 40 years of writing in a different language.

Sometimes I read a story in the correct American way,
and it just looks strange to me.
So when I am writing and letting my creativity flow,
I fall back to my "original" language rules.

I will address the comments by just going through the posts.

The age thing.
In the fifth sentence I say "even her parents have no idea what this 18 year old girl is up to"

The age of 13 refers to her age just before the war broke out, and as we know the war took 5 years.

The covered windows thing.
Normally a window (at least during that time) was covered with a curtain.
Lights DID slip through and because the Germans didn't like that (houses where still somewhat visible for enemy airplanes flying low) they ordered that all windows needed to be taped off with black paper.

German soldiers were on patrol during nighttime, making sure that everybody followed this order, so Suzanna had to use the back alleys.

I realize that most of you are not from my part of the world, and therefor might look over those details, and that is my mistake.

I do write many, many stories (all erotic) and have at least a dozen or more ready to be "published" but the grammar, spelling and format issues are a big issue for me.

I want readers to enjoy my stories, not to be bothered by those problems, and since I like to tell a real story instead of summing up different sex acts, it is important that these issues are being fixed.

I write every single day and besides the finished stories I have dozens of "stories in progress". It helps with spelling and some minor problems, but still... the big issues remain unsolved.

 

Thank you for responding to the comments made. Knowing that English isn't your first language would have made a difference, at least in part for me. I would have still given my comments, because I think they are all valid, but I would have given even more positive feedback on where you did things perfectly.

 

Thank you :rose:

But there is no need to hold back on me,
it's the only way for me to learn and improve.

 

From what I gather American English is difficult for non-English speakers to learn to read, write, and speak.

I wish you the best and many wonderful stories to be written as you perfect your skills.

One suggestion, if you seek a proof reader, start a thread asking if someone will do so for your story.