any suggestions?

 

Don't do this at home, only professionals should try it:

Carefully fasten a strong rope to it, tie the other end to a pickup truck and stomp it.


Seriously, I doubt if any of the phony medications will have any effect. I have yet to talk to anyone who has had any results.

OK anyone who has succeeded, chime in here for him.

It is a fact that continual strethching of skin will lengthen it, but as for the entire hydraulic works, I wouldn't know.

 

nothing.

 

Do that it does always work my bud did that lol

 

You could like jump up and down. And like...point at it. N'stuff. And sacrifice an albino goat to the god of the penis fairies. A race of fairies known for their skills in magic and big penises. For fairies. Because lets face it, they're fairies, they're little. And so have little dicks. Like Koreans.

Then, after the goat sacrifice, the penis fairy god will come and tap your wang with his magic penis wand and it will proceed to grow. That is, of course, if he has found your goat sacrifice acceptable. If not, he'll let you know by jizzing in your eye. That's a penis fairy signal of displeasure.

If you do find yourself with fairy jizz in your eye, don't panic, all is not lost. You'll simply need to scale the highest mountain in Penis Fairy land, the K-Penis, and stick your little dick in the magical blarney stone. It's easily reconized since it's in the shape of David Hasselhof.

Once you've cummed into the likeness of The Hasselhoff, you'll need to pat his head three times while uttering "I think I can, I think I can" with each pat. In case you can't count, that means you'll need to say it six times, twice for each pat.

At this point, The Keepers of the Sacred Penis should appear and test your Hasselhoff cum for purity. If they deem it worthy they will petition the Penis Fairy God on your behalf, requesting that your penis size is increased. This usually works, since the climing of K-Penis is no easy feat and usually serves to impress the Penis Fairy God.

However, since I don't want to give you any guarantees, I should warn you that even this is not full-proof. Should either the Keepers of the Sacred Penis or the Penis Fairy God find you unworthy, your only recourse is then to have a sex change operation and become a woman.

Best of luck to you. PM me if you need the name and number of an albino goat farmer. I can probably get you a deal. I know a guy. It's two for one Tuesdays ever 3rd Tuesday of the month, I'll see if I can't get you the hook up.

-S-

 

But you know what, I just had a thought.

You could stop being such a fucking pussy.

-S-

 

As always, the quentessential quentessance.:rose::rose::rose::rose:

 

Buy a new one?

 

Can I have the number of your drugs dealer please?

 

hey, don't knock it until you've tried it, it worked for me, not as well as it could have done becuase i couldn't find an albino goat so i just painted a normal goat white, seemed to work, but who knows what could happen if you go albino?

 

Lie!!!!!
eastsider

 

Ok yes this works,,,

Go up to the top of the empire state building and tie a rope around your cock and then around a cinder block,and throw it off,,guaranteed to make it bigger

 

Don't worry about penis size, its head is important-it bulges when you need it most & takes careof the rest of its action

 

You dont need a big dick to please a woman, its all in the technique.

 

to me its not the size its what ya do with it

 

Do a REALLY shitty job of photoshopping a pic of your cock. You can make it look 8 feet long if you want.

Jims does it all the time. Then again, we all think he's a pathetic wanker.

 

HEY you I am not

A pathetic wanker, I am just a wanker period,,lmao

 

hummm sounds like a down low subject insted of a up and cumming subject

 

watch porn movie aead xxx stories evrty time i do it i get hard

 

For one, try trimming your pubes way down...won't actually make your penis bigger, but will make it seem bigger...