In the past few months, I've been on kind of a sexual reawakening. Exploring new things, new people, etc.

Not to sound like I'm all that, but I've always had guys flirting with me and hitting on me. What I've found over the past few months is; either they like the conquest, meaning, they'll pursue and chase and really try, until they get what they want. Then, they become a lot more quiet. They'll communicate some, and moreso if they want it again, but it seems that most men don't want it all the time. (not that I've had dozens in the few months) And it's not that I become too attached, because that is very much not the case.

Here I was believing that "Women need a reason, men just need a place" and am disheartened to find that not to be true. Why is it so hard for a woman to find a FWB??

 

For a lot of met that is true. Once they get in your pants, they are off or the next one because chasing tale is 1/2 the fun.

If I wasnt a married man, you wouldn't have that problem with me. Lol

 

I think men like variety. I think they long for someone new. Maybe it's a breeding urge, I don't know, but men do seem to be attracted to women they haven't yet had sex with.
I think it's biological. Men want to be a woman's first. Women want to be a man's last. Shrugs

 

The longer a guys in a relationship the more he looks elsewere,not neccesarily to cheat more window shopping.

 

I've never been successful enough at getting woman to turn any of them down. If one wants a repeat performance, I'll be very happy.

I'd love some variety, but don't get the chance.

 

Despite what you see in movies, I find that it is men who have trouble fucking without attachment. Maybe, though, it is that they are confused about you and what you want. Men can be thick, and they seem to harbor very strange assumptions about what women want.

How forward are you in expressing what you want? Straight up telling them that you don't want a BF, but someone to have sex with on a semi-regular basis, can separate out the posers and romantics and get to that sweet spot FWB space.

 

Alot of men have the whole "alpha" male role in their heads as the only way to live, ie must spread my seed everywhere. Then you have the rest that all seem to be different from each other. I'm definitely a part of the other group.

 

I want a connection, something authentic.

Sex for the sake of sex alone seems like it would be empty for me*

That's not a judgement on anybody, merely a personal preference.

*not that I have ever tried it lol

 

I find it difficult to find a female FWB, not for lack of trying. I live in a rural community where everyone knows everyone, so I have been looking at neighboring communities, with not much luck.

 

You can always tell he's willing to cheat when you are

 

Up until about a year ago, I would have agreed with you, but after having a brief sexual only relationship, it was actually some of the best times of my life. There was literally no strings, we met had sex repeatedly and left completely satisfied.

 

Interesting...

 

A person who's worth monogamy acts accordingly

 

Not just variety but enthusiasm

 

Men want the same shit woman do it's just that were on different time tables

 

I think there is always a "chase" going on with both sides during dating. It always seemed like the guys I liked a lot were unavailable or just not interested. Then I would have guys hitting on me and my friends would always be telling me how crazy I was because a certain guy was so cute. I think that's just how we are wired. There is a little bit of truth in your comment that guys are attracted to the hunt. That happened a few times to me. However, more often than not I found guys to get very possessive in a very short period of time with me. It quickly turned into a 24/7 thing and I would feel smothered.

Not to be all corny but....That's when I think you know it is right. When you have two people who are on the exact same wavelength together it is just the easiest thing in the world. Almost seems to take no effort. It may take a long time to find that but when it works it is something that is easy. You love the way each other smells....it's just home. My husband and I both dated a lot before meeting each other. Neither one of us was ready to settle down but there just wasn't an option. It was just that easy. Sounds corny I know but it's true.

 

I don't pursue woman emotionally, but I also don't pursue them for sex irl.

I'm kind of a hermit.

 

For me... the mental connection turns just sex into passion... other wise its just sex... no I'm not in for that... love passionate sex

 

With men it's any port in a storm, hell even in fair weather. Women on the other hand seem coy to me...
However once a man has a reputation women seem to come out of the woodwork with a peaked interest. That reputation may be an alpha one or just that he will sleep with women an thus she feels comfortable opening up, no pun intended.
The older they get and the longer it's been, or never, the more direct a woman seems in getting laid; at least that has been my experience.
It can get to be a problem at times.

 

Men need a reason but the reason can differ depending on the man or his life situation. To me at least sex is a necessity, not something I want only sometimes. But everyone is different. FWB seems like it would be difficult to find. For me it could've be a woman who just lied there. There would have to be enthusiasm, passion, and just the pure list of sex. Love and sex do work well when both exist but I personally think that you can have sex without love.