The answer to this question depends upon the age of the man in question. A college boy who lives in a dorm, is definitely more concerned about the place. Everyone's life is in transition and few people expect a hook up to become a LTR. Add a few years, and it gets more complicated. Now the place problem is a little simpler, since both of you have some place to live, but now he has stuff to do. A FWB has to be fit into the schedule. This isn't difficult, but both of you have to be free at the same time, and then there's that awkward thing about getting dressed and leaving, or spending the night. The thing about friends with benefits is, they have to be friends first, in order for it to work. You have to know each other well enough to realize there is not going to be a long term love interest, but you trust one another enough for practical purposes. The friendship thing cannot be overemphasized. He may have a girlfriend, or almost girlfriend you don't know. He might not want to mess that up, just for one night with you. You won't have any idea until you know more about his personal life.

If your potential FWB is married, the complications go up by a factor of 10.

 

No problem with a fwb. I find it to be less stressful.

 

LOL!
Hmm, its true , alot of us women flock to the alpha.
I've never done that, but doesn't mean I'm not secretly wondering ....

 

It's simple chemistry. Men that get laid more frequently are producing more testosterone which attracts women.

 

Partly but not quite so simple. There is a whole chemistry set going on alobgside testosterone including various pheromones and the effects of diet and fitness.

Also, men losing their hair tend to have more testosterone but few women would say that men with hair are unattractive.

 

The most recent was 26 and lived at home with his parents/family. We'd meet up once in a while to get together, we were also friends and would hang out in groups of friends. At first, he was eager, contacting me all the time. (and he hadn't had sex in three years) After that, it wasn't nearly the bombarding of contact, but still contact and some meeting up. Then less contact. We'd send pics and chat sometimes, but less. He was making plans for places we could do it and new ideas, but then he told me (which he also told me at the beginning) that he was working on himself and he still had a way to go and could we hold off for a while. "That doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you or hang out with you and it's not forever, just for a short while." (he's also quitting smoking, which he does every night) I was ok with that. I neither forced myself on him nor did I shun him. Now, it's as if he ignores me at all costs.

Another one was married and was also chomping at the bit in the beginning. I wasn't looking for or expecting more, since obviously, he's married. He too, however, slowed down.

Maybe I just suck in bed.

nah

 

Damn. Still lives at home, and hasn't had sex in three years, and working on himself(I guess this means fat). Then he wants to hold off for a while. I would have to say this was not a good prospect from the start. Men who "just enjoy the challenge" go for the metaphorical kill. I think you scared him. There are some men who are so ashamed of their body, they will give up sex rather than stand naked in front of a willing woman. Either that, or his mother found out about you.

 

I tried it once and she messaged me constantly, it drove me crazy. I was looking for someone to talk to and maybe have dinner with occasionally but mostly let off sexual steam with when one or both of us needed. I don't think it is impossible, but I believe success in these endeavors is rare.

 

I know if I had a sexy woman with a smoking body like yours, I wouldn't be slowing down after being with you a few times. if anything it be the opposite. I'd love to be your fwb. AND I REALLY DOUBT YOU SUCK IN BED, WELL I HOPE YOU SUCK IN BED AND ON THE COUCH AND IN THE CAR AND ANYWHERE ELSE WE CAN DO IT. AND I REALLY LOVE TO RETURN THE FAVOR.

 

sex was always just sex for me, until met the one, then i learned what love making is. so glad i found her.

 

Because, it is a lot more expensive for a man to be just a FWB. These days, a lot of men are waking up to the dangers. They have to spend a lot of resources just to even get your affection, on top of whatever he has to spend jumping through the hoops you set up(unless you're just very easy). Next, there is always the risk of you getting pregnant(regardless how reduced this risk may be, unless you had a procedure that escapes my knowledge), which will basically sap even more of his resources for 18-27 years. Then, there is the possibility of you regretting your actions, and calling the cops to report a rape. That would put his name on the Sex Offender's list for life, and put him in jail for a few years. On top of all that, there is a chance of him getting an STD, if you're the kind of girl who has a lot of FWB's.

You also have to factor age into the equation. A woman hits a wall somewhere in her 30's, and her sexual(reproductive) market value simply decreases. The golden vagina doesn't stay golden forever. Some men are fine with being used as a utility, but not the ones worth keeping around. I've noticed a lot of men are waking up to how they are being used, and simply abstaining from temporary sexual conquests.

Next, you have to look inward at yourself. What are you doing to keep the men interested? We want sex, but we also want more than sex. We have emotions, and we want emotional content. If you supply only sex, then... yeah... it's only going to be very temporary. If you want something more than a temporary sex partner, try supplying more than just sex. Because the risks I outlined above are on the permanent level, and an hour or two's worth of wild and hardcore fucking... is not worth a devastating child support, or an STD, or any other risk for a man engaging in sex.

 

I'm an Omega. I want what I want, I refuse to settle. I don't want the Alpha's sloppy seconds, and the Beta's are just hilarious in their competition. Means I'm alone a lot, but when I finally do manage to get a woman in bed, she compares me to drugs. "Addictive," and that's enough to satisfy my ego. I know I got game, and I know what I'm capable of sexually. I don't need to spurt in every girl that crosses my path to prove my manhood. I'll hold out for the ladies that are worth gettin' lucky.

 

Very well said, dear!

 

I definitely think age is a huge factor. In my younger days it seemed harder to find a gal that just wanted to fuck, they wanted more. I would leed them to believe I would give them more. I've had a lot of different relationships, some lasted for a couple years. Had a lot of 1 night stands which was very unfulfilling, just got my nuts emptied, and that's it. I've had long term relationships which got boring. I now have a lady that has been married to the same guy for over 30 yrs. who recently got a divorce. She said sex wasn't a big thing in her marriage, and maybe they fucked 4 or 5 times a year. I started fucking her just satisfy myself. For some reason she always came back for more. So I thought it would be more enjoyable if I could make her orgasm. She has come to experience sex like never before. Now she is very into her sexuality, she's not afraid to tell me she's horney, she will call me at work just to tell me she's masturbating. She loves to play with my dick. So now I try to plan different things for us to do. It's been ongoing now for about 7 yrs. when she gets horney she comes to my house. Some times I won't see her for a month, but she tells me to send her a video of me jacking off so she can cum. I tell her beforehand what I'm going to do to her when I get there, and what I want her to wear. So now at my age I've learned to improvise and sex is no longer boring, and I look forward to it with her.

 

Let's just say I was very easy in my younger days, sometimes just giving in to pressure and sometimes just saying yes for the fun. Once I ended up in my first long term relationship which was after uni, I ended up using fabswingers as I missed the variety and it was me that wanted the desire of new men each time. Not sure if that was connected.

It has taken me a long time to try and settle down and be happy with something more.

 

Maybe they didn't like the way you fucked

 

Swinging. Sexual relationships with the perimeters set up front. We, my wife and I, had FWB before they were called FWB.

 

It's the choices we make in taking chances with flings the exception being we wait (I'll speak for myself) and get to know each other which even some women take the wrong way like I don't want what their offering. We all have our way of weeding out the flakes and that's why I was never a fan of indiscriminate blowjobs, hand jobs or backroom quickies!

 

FWB?

Fat, whiny Bulgarian?

 

Ouch. Probably true, but ouch.
Giggles. Somebody get this man a Snickers