Marcus


I stood there, behind my masters tunics, hardly daring to breath, hiding while the Iceni plundered the villa. I was naked, I had been sleeping when the attack started, I hid as the sound of slaughter echoed through the halls. Now it was quiet, dark. The Iceni invaders had not found me and had left the room. I summoned up all my courage and moved out into the room. The floor was cold, the hypocaust must not be stoked.

I moved as silently as I could through the dark room, but must not have been silent enough. An arm caught me round the chest, a blade pressed into my throat. “Halt!” An imperious command. I was still, as if I were ice. “On your knees!” The same harsh imperious voice commanded me. Not the voice of my master as is usual, but still it inflamed my passions. I descended to my knees, the arm letting me go, the blade still at my throat. The shutters were thrown back, the light of early dawn flooded the room.

The blade was kept at my throat, but the wielder moved in front of me. I saw powerful legs, bright red hair hung behind them to the knees, and no dick? There was a mount of venus, covered in more bright red hair. How would the victor mark my defeat with no dick? The voice laughed, “A woman with a knife inflames you so?” The imperious command had inflamed me, Venus’ playground did so to. My dick was standing proud, I was inflamed, I was scared, the Iceni had been laying waste to the province, and no one was still alive when they left.

I looked up, a powerful chest topped with impressive bosoms, powerful arms, she looked as though she were carved from the purest alabaster, her skin was so white, carved by the most skillful sculpture, her muscles so defined. This statue was carved twice life size, or so it seemed from my position, certainly taller than any woman I knew. Her face was beautiful, again skillfully carved from purest alabaster, the bright red hair cascaded down from her head, ending at her knees as I’d seen. It would have made a striking, and modest, cloak if viewed from her rear. I stared into her eyes, I said nothing.

“My, you are pretty.” Her screeching voice at odds with its message. “Are you Roman?”

I gazed lovingly on the vision of Athena before me. She was the most perfect woman I’d ever seen. “I am a citizen of Rome.” I answered. Such a declaration would usually ensure safe passage anywhere in the known world. A powerful hand swooped down and hit me across the cheek with its back. The force of the blow knocked onto my back, I lay there for some moments, stunned. I gathered my wits enough to look up, Athena was now brandishing her spear, making ready to thrust it into my heart. I spread eagled myself, leaving my chest open to her attack. I called out to her, “In the name of Pax and Venus, why have I angered you?”

The spear paused, the tip pressed to my breast. “You invoke the goddess of love to protect you from the Furies, but you would let me kill you?”

“I am yours to do with as you would. One does not argue with a goddess.”

She laughed, “Maybe I shall not kill you, Cupid and Venus might be angered. Do you find me alluring?”

Of course I did, but I did not want to anger Venus, “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, only Venus herself is more so.”

She smiled, she raised the spear from my chest and stepped forward, standing over me, her legs parted to span me. Her lower lips were exposed smiling sideways at me, glistening. Not only was she beautiful, she was inflaming me further. My stiff dick was aching for her. She knelt above my head, her lips engorged, her hair tickling my chest. I just wanted to please her, I opened my mouth, but my tongue would not reach. Her strong womanly scent filled my nostrils, I breathed deeply of the intoxicating scent, it inflamed my desire manyfold.

“You want to do that to please me?”

“I would do anything to please you.” She lowered her lips to my mouth, my tongue could now reach her treasures, her taste was even more intoxicating than the scent. The scent was intense now, her juices were nectar, my tongue glided across her silky lips. I became just a tongue, my only existence to please my goddess. My tongue spent an eternity pleasing my goddess, I existed with her only on Mount Olympus.

Then I was cruelly exiled from Olympus, my goddess removed herself from me. I wept, “How have I displeased you?” was my anguished cry.

A softer voice told me, “You have have not displayed me.” I looked up at my goddess, her alabaster skin had taken on a rose hue, her breast heaved. “You are too pretty to displease me, you will please me further.”

“Anything.”

She reached behind her neck and drew her flaming read hair over her shoulders, so it spilled over her breast and onto my chest. She moved herself back to my stiff, aching dick, it met her lips and was swallowed by her sheath. She lent forward, her hair trailed across my chest, her bosom was presented to my mouth. I suckled on her as the most hungry infant might. Her hips moved inflaming my dick further. Again a cloud took me to Mount Olympus with my goddess I existed in just two places, my lips and my dick in her hearth.

Again I spent an eternity before I was cruelly exiled. Her teat was ripped from my mouth, she rose up above me and rent at her hair. “My sisters I avenge you!” Her heaving bosom inflamed me even further. She picked up the dagger from where it was lying next to us, she held it high in the air in both hands, pointing down at me. I again spread eagled myself before her opening myself to her attack. She cried out, “Roman! Know your fate. I am Boudica, Queen of the Iceni.” Her passion was too much for me, my dick discharged itself into her sheath. She plunged the dagger into my heart.

—

Translators note.

The above fragment entitled “Marcus” was translated from Latin and is attributed to Paullus Flaminius Flavius, around AD62. Other surviving fragments indicate that Paullus fled from his Villa, somewhere South of modern day Bury St Edmonds, ahead of the revolting British tribes lead by Queen Boudica. His Villa was destroyed, and most of his servants were lost in the attack. Household accounts also show he had a servant by the name of Marcus, Marcus is presumed lost in the attack as he does not appear in later accounts.

There is speculation that the above is a love note to a dead lover (Marcus) or a votive to the judges of the underworld to look kindly on the unfortunate Marcus, hence the display of piety to the presumed deity.

It should be noted that it would be common for a Roman to perform an act of irrumatio on a vanquished opponent to mark his victory, hence the surprise at the absence of a Phallus. It would not be uncommon for a master to do so to his male servants.

I considered leaving the phrase “civis romanus sum” untranslated, it was good enough for both Palmerstone and Kennedy, but decided to use the phrase “I am a citizen of Rome” as its translation.

The spelling Boudica is used in the original document, though other sources use variant spellings. All proper nouns in the document are unchanged except to put them in the nominative case.

Many Latin words have multiple possible translations, choosing a different word may alter the flavor of the translation. A partial list of such words is below. In this translation I use one translation for any particular word throughout.

Glossary (English word, original Latin word)

Dick Phallus
Sheath Vagina
Hearth Focus
Inflame concito
Playground campus
Bosom mamma
Chest pectus
Stun Obstupefaciam
Lip labia
Fate fatum
Alluring illecebrosus

 

A tale of ancient times. Sex with a goddess, my life-long dream. That coupling was fiery, if I may say so, despite the fact that the protagonist got fatally stabbed at the end. Wooh! Good research.

 

The good: Well written and detailed. The facts check turned up nothing truly amiss with the tale.

The Bad: It is very short and could have used some more detail.

The Ugly: The only physical description of Boudica I can find says she had tawny hair. I can forgive playing fast and loose with her physical because it really is an unknown and I do love a good redhead.

 

After reading this story I now know how the male spider feels after mating with a Black Widow spider. I guess there are worse ways to die.

 

nice story, good luck.

 

The Author would like to say:


I have a comment in reply to Brootforce on "Marcus".


Re: Red hair, it looks like I was using a bad translation. The only physical description of Boudica is by Cassius Dio, that's in Greek and I haven't been able to track down the original text to check. My Greek is very shaky anyway.

In "The rebellion of Boudica" by Donald Dudly and Graham White, they use a translation of Dio's description with red hair. All other sources do seem to say tawny. (This is where I make implications about academics from Birmingham.)

A lot of Neo classical paintings of Boudica from when the Victorians were venerating her show her with red hair. So I can assume it was quite widely accepted that she did have red hair.

As for length, it was how the story played out.

Similarly, apropos of nothing, I could think of no other ending for Marcus. I never though I'd write snuff fiction.

 

Acceptable. I will point out, during the Victorian era, red hair was considered the height of beauty in a woman. Similar to the fact that they tended to paint and sculpt woman as being of ample body. Victorian era art like any era is colored by the prejudices of the time.

I accept that she could be either way and it really lends no fact to the story in any case. The story stands as an excellent example of creative writing.

 

It may be a short story but I love how it packed a punch..well done!

 

This is a punchy little tale, short, harsh and brutal, and none the worse for that. I liked the research that went in, the story captured the spirit of the times, indeed it was commonplace for conquering Romans to sodomise their defeated enemies, and to perform irrumatio on slaves and servants. It is entirely possible that Boudica actually insisted that captured enemies paid her tribute in the manner described above, and also very likely that she would have murdered them in the manner described.

Boudica (congratulations on using the correct modern spelling) is somewhat of a heroine of mine - a strong, powerful red (or tawny!) haired woman she tends to be regarded, certainly in British history, as a gallant freedom fighter, heroically battling against an oppressive invader. However, the truth is somewhat less glorious; in reality she led a vicious, vengeful rebellion, burning, looting and killing without mercy. Beheadings, hanging, drawing and quartering, crucifixion, torture - the behaviour of Boudica and her 'troops' made the present day caliphate in the Middle East look like a kindergarden.

In that this story gets it just right, and I liked the way the protagonist uses blunt words to describe the sex organs. The invocation of various gods is also a clever and accurate touch - the Romans of course had their many gods, as did the more pagan ancient Britons. Boudica even used divination to decide tactics during her military campagning.

The writing is good, spelling and grammar appears faultless, descriptive without being over-wordy, it's very well scripted indeed.

I didn't like the way the story was told in the first person past tense, but ends with the death of the narrator, which made the whole thing seem invalid. I also felt the pseudohistory of Paullus Flaminius Flavius in the author's footnote was unneccesary, although the glossary of Latin/English was a useful embellishment. Boudica was rebelling after her own mistreatment (and public flogging), and the rape of her daughters, so she would have most likely have invoked that, rather than the spurious mention of her sisters, which was about the only inaccuracy I could find.

Dear author, please don't think I am slating this story, quite the opposite but I am merely attempting to offer constructive criticism. I often mention the fact that, in a previous CAW, I received a harsh critique from Black Ronin who dissected my entry and pointed out all its many faults, but then voted for it as he liked the story. The criticism he gave me helped me to improve my own work and I still bring some of his words to mind every time I sit at the keyboard to write, and I am very grateful to him for them. Despite the points I mention in the preceeding paragraph I enjoyed this, and I compliment you on your work.

 

Wow - that's a whole lot of research for a very short story/scene. I had absolutely no problem visualizing the scene, actually for me it took on an amber/gold tone. I have nothing against the length, because sometimes good things come in small packages. This small package was a really good thing.

 

In response to JayneyRedd on "Marcus".

You're right about the sisters, I had brain fart. I mixed up sisters/daughters in my head. That really should “My daughters I avenge you!”

Come to think of it, that makes much more sense. I could never work out why her sisters were raped, but not her.

I could debate some of your stylistic comments, but I'll save that for later.

Thanks everyone for the comments, they're much appreciated.

 

Again, I'm hung up on the identity of the writer. I'm going to hazard a guess and say this is the work of a new entrant to the CAW madness, simply because I don't recognize the writing.

Frankly, I wish this had been longer. What we have here is technically more a vignette than a full-blown story, which may be intentional.

Guess what I'm trying to say is I wanted more, especially considering the writer's choice of a lesser-known (to me, anyway) historical figure.

Veteran or newb, good entry.

 

Well, this one has me searching for words. It's obvious the writer has plenty of talent, but then I'm left wondering, did the author here actually write the above, or did the author just take what was already written and translate it? I'm confused. It says the above fragment was translated, so it leads me to believe that the CAW author didn't write the story, but found it in Latin and translated it into English. I'm not sure that qualifies as writing a story, but, it's pretty damn impressive nonetheless! I found a number of grammar issues and in so short a piece they really stood out. Proofing would have helped. Also, the word "dick" from what I know came about in the 16th century, so, the usage was way out of range.

Regardless, it was a quick, fun read and the translation part, if that was done by the CAW author, deserves props.

 

The Author would like to say:

"Also, the word "dick" from what I know came about in the 16th century, so, the usage was way out of range."

Most of the rest of the words in the translation post date Roman occupation as well. Its a translation into modern english, so I don't see the problem here.

 

I love a strong, woman warrior as the basis of a story. The scene was vivid and believable. Even though the story is short, I liked the way it showed Boudica at a strong and dominant time in her life. If it had gone on too long there would have been an unhappy ending for both characters.

 

Great story about a goddess I have never heard of before. Not a problem, I'm not afraid to use Google.

I liked the Dom/sub angle, even if that's not normally my thing, and it ending in death was a bit of a shock.

However... I would like some clarification. "The above fragment entitled “Marcus” was translated from Latin and is attributed to Paullus Flaminius Flavius, around AD62." Not really sure what that means. What part of above fragment was copied? A line or two? The entirety?

Please don't take this as any kind of accusation, I was just confused.

 

Not a fan of dominant female/submissive male stories, but this was an entertaining read.

What he said. Is this an original story or a translation?

 

I do not think it is a true translation. I think it is a pseudotranslation, and also a pseudohistory, as JaneyRedd has already asserted.

But she is kinder than I am, I think. (Call me embittered.) The reason that I think this story is authored, and not translated, is that translators typically exhibit technical mastery of their native languages. This story (regrettably) is not "faultless" in that regard. Errors of grammar and punctuation appear in the first sentence and carry throughout. Ordinarily I would not be so crass as to point this out; it is nitpicking, in a place where precision of language is hardly necessary. I am calling attention to the grammatical errors in this case only to defend the assertion that this story can't possibly have been translated. Not to put too fine a point on it, but a translator of Latin to English would know where to place his commas!

That said, this is an impressive piece of work: a mock history and mock translation (with emendation notes, no less!!), wrapped into a hot story that closely aligns with extant myth. Good job all around.

One final note: upon reading the title I made a snap guess: Marcus Aurelius! One of my favorite characters in history. Regrettably I was wrong, but at least I had the nationality right: they are both Roman!