Gaussian Distribution.




“Where are we?”

“Göttingen, it said.”

“Where’s that?”

“I have absolutely no idea.”

“At least it looks like there’s somewhere to stay.” In hindsight, traveling across continental Europe had not been a good idea. The Napoleonic wars were raging around, I just wish my history had been more inclusive, then I might have avoided this. It was 1810 currently and we were somewhere in a German puppet state controlled by Napoleon, Westphalia I think.

We found a suitable lodging house, and while James was arranging the domestic affairs, I took the ladies to dine. I was hoping for something other than the schnitzel, schweinshaxe and wurst we’d been having for the last week, but I was disappointed. At least there was good wine, it was the wrong time of year for beer.

We were chatting somewhat disconsolately, the latest turn of events had not put us in a good mood, when some one behind me said “Guten abend herr doctor Gauss.” Then it struck me why Göttingen sounded so familiar, it was where Gauss worked. Carl Friedrich Gauss, a god in the pantheon of mathematicians, he’d probably be remembered as the finest mathematician since Newton, if Einstein hadn’t stuck his oar in. He’d been in the news a few times these past few years I’d been in the nineteenth Century, they would of course mention his affiliation to the university in such articles.

I whispered to Maria, “I think that maybe Gauss, you know Ceres and all that.” One of his recent headlines was to do with the rediscovery of Ceres, Ceres was the first, asteroid discovered. No one yet knew much about asteroids, even that Ceres was the largest, only four had been discovered to the current date. Gauss’ work had allowed Ceres to be rediscovered after it had been somewhat carelessly lost. Maria’s eyes widened at that, she had a thirst for knowledge and would dearly love to learn from the source. I’d provided some perspective not available to people currently. I knew what Gauss’ stature would be in history.

I couldn’t pass up an opportunity like this, even if I should have been more wary of making waves temporally speaking. Meddling in the past is fraught with danger when you’re from the future. I rose and turned to the gentleman seated alone behind me, he had a sad countenance, I could sympathize, he had also recently lost his wife. I summon up my best German to say “Do I have the honor of addressing Carl Friedrich Gauss, the eminent Mathematician?”

Given my sketchy accent, I knew Dutch, not Deutsch, I must have sounded like I’d just fallen off of a hay lorry. He looked at me, unimpressed, wishing I should disappear I guessed. He reply was somewhat unexpected, “What is the meaning of e raised to the i pi power?”

A Mathematical test perhaps, I did my best to answer it. “Imaginary powers of e oscillate sinusoidally in the complex plain, luckily the imaginary parts cancel out on the real axis, and the factor of pi causes a rotation through 180 degrees causing the result to be minus one.” At least that’s what I wanted to say, I tried it in German, somewhat haltingly, a few words came out in English because I had no idea of the right German one.

His demeanor brightened somewhat at my answer. “You are English?” He asked that in slightly accented English.

“Yes, I’m sorry for my poor German.”

“I found your answer to that question to be quite interesting, we should discuss it. Yes, I am Carl Friedrich Gauss.”

“Stephen Charles Somers, at your service, would you care to join me, and my companions,” I indicated, Maria, Louisa and Hanna sitting at my table, “We would all be honored to entertain you.” He indicated that he would and joined us at our table, sitting between me and Maria.

He stole a quick glance at Maria’s bountiful bosom before ignoring her and turning to me. Maria spoke to him anyway, “It is a great honor to meet you Doctor Gauss, I followed you work with Ceres with great interest. Though I am sorry I can not match Stephen’s abilities with complex identities, I am aware of Euler’s Identity, though I would struggle to derive it.”

Euler’s Identity was the name of the little Mathematical puzzle Gauss opened with. He seemed quite startled that a woman would even be aware of such things. It might be rude for Gauss to speak to a Lady without a formal introduction, so I obliged. “Dr Carl Friedrich Gauss, might I introduce my companions, Miss Maria Freeman, Miss Louisa Smith, Miss Hanna Smits.”

Gauss stood up and took the hand of each of the ladies and kissed it, saying he was charmed to meet them. The girls each greeted him in their own way, Louisa was polite and distant, Hanna effusive and managed a little German, like my efforts it wasn’t too far from her native Dutch. Maria held his hand for longer than was appropriate, looked him right in the eye and again said how pleased she was to meet him. He seemed a little flustered by her attentions, I’d guess that was what Maria was trying to do. If Scientists had groupies, Maria would be one of them.

We continued our meal now including our eminent guest. There wasn’t much I could discuss on an equal footing with such a towering intellect, but I tried my best. Maria seemed quite fascinated with him and managed to keep up the conversation. I remember a few snippets.

..

“Tell me Dr Gausss.” Maria addressed our guest. “Is it true, as Stephen says when he was teaching me the summation of series, did you really add up all the integers from one to one hundred by deriving the summation formula when you were three?”

“No, that is not true. When I was three I corrected my fathers arithmetic. I was eight when I had to sum the series.”

..

“I was so sad to learn of the passing of your wife last year. You have our condolences.” Gauss’ demeanor changed back for a moment, he had been looking quite happy.

I added, “Yes our deepest sympathies, I lost my own wife not that long ago.” We did manage to steer the conversation back onto happier ground after that.

..

Gauss was telling an amusing anecdote, which continued, “We were traveling in parallel, so we would never meet.”

With a little too much wine inside of me, I ventured, “But Dr Gauss, Euclid’s Axiom assumes a plane surface, do we not live on the surface of a sphere.” Gauss looked quite thunderstruck at my comment, I sobered up in a hurry, I’d guess that non-Euclidian geometry had not yet been invented, I really didn’t want to wipe my own future out of existence by disrupting history. I avoided expanding on my comment and managed to steer the conversation away from such hazards. I successfully managed not to mention his law of electric fields, or his treatment of optics.

..

Gauss asked Maria, “Do you know Sophie Germain?”

“I can’t say the name is familiar.”

“I think you would have a lot to talk about, it is so rare that you find an educated woman. If you’re in Paris you should visit her, I could provide a letter of introduction.”

“That would be most agreeable Dr Gauss.”

I’d never heard of this person either, but she sounded intriguing if Gauss were recommending her. Maybe we should continue the trip through Paris, I had been avoiding it trying to not venture into “enemy” territory, but we already managed that anyway.

..

We could finally find no more excuses to stay in the dining room, the staff were looking a bit sullen, so I suggested, “Dr Gauss, would you like to continue the conversation in my room. I have some excellent Cognac.” Cognac was one of the bonuses of our present situation, Gauss didn’t look like he needed much more in the way of cognac, but he assented to the idea and we escorted him to our room. Maria took one arm, Hanna the other. Despite Hanna not having much in the way of a brain, Gauss had taken to her, he’d also taken to Maria, I wasn’t sure if it was her body or her mind he coveted. Perhaps it was both, an intelligent educated woman is a great novelty in the current time, it would seem to be only the second he’d know, the first he’d met.

We got to my room, the girls helped Gauss into one of the comfortable chairs. I found the traveling booze box. “Would you like a drink Dr Gauss? As I said, I have a fine Cognac, or some port, or sherry.”

“Cognac would be agreeable.” I poured a small glass and handed it to the Doctor.

“Ladies would you like a drink?”

“Some port please.” Not a surprise from Maria.

“Sherry Please.” Nor from Louisa, Hanna just nodded in agreement with Louisa. I fixed the ladies drinks and a Cognac for myself, and we were all seated with a drink.

Maria made her move. “Dr Gauss, we think that you deserve a great reward.”

“I do? For what?”

“For being the greatest Mathematician of your generation, if not in all of history. We want to show our appreciation for your genius.” Gauss blushed at the compliment, or the cognac, and waived away the compliment. Maria signaled to the ladies, Hanna jumped up eagerly, Louisa looked less certain of things but also rose as Maria did.

The girls stood in front of us, me and Gauss, we were lounging in the comfortable chairs, both with our cognac. With no obvious cue, the girls started on their strip tease. It was something they’d been practicing, I approved of it. Hanna was a great artist at this, her performances would give a corpse a hard-on. Maria was also pretty enthusiastic, and had the advantage of her wonderful bosom to entice us. Poor Louisa, she never looked that enthusiastic about this, she was good but was overshadowed by the others.

Soon enough Louisa was naked and displaying her charms, Maria also was naked, Hanna was nearing her finale. She undid her hair and the blond braids untangled fell about her shoulders while she was divesting herself of her corset and chemise. Leaving her naked, boobs bouncing and legs spread showing her shaved cunt to its best advantage.

Gauss had been looking shocked, when I'd glanced at him, when I could tear my gaze away from the girls. He still was uncertain about things. “Mr Somers, your women, …”

I looked at him, “They’re not my women, they’re free, I signed Maria’s manumission, …“ I wasn’t sure if that word translated, so I tried “bevrijding? befreiung?” That seemed to work, “I signed it myself.” He nodded, open mouthed, bemused. “Though Hanna may have other ideas, Hanna, what are you?”

“Ik ben zijn hoer” She said she was my whore, in dutch, but it seemed to get the message across, Hanna liked being, or at least playing at being, my whore. I was happy to indulge her.

Jiggling enough to keep the attention, Maria asked, “Do you like what you see?”

“Pauca sed matura” Was his enigmatic response, it sounded like latin to me, I tried to work that out, my latin was very rusty, 'shabby, but old' maybe. That didn’t sound right.

I puzzled on that for a while, but got no further. Maria and Louisa smiled at it, I was going to have to ask her what he said, but now Maria knelt at his feet, followed by the other two. “I’m glad you like us, we like you.” With that she reached for his fly and released his dick. It was hard, and no, I’m not going to tell you how big Gauss’s dick was. Maria held it, and Gauss was looking very uncertain, then she popped it in his mouth. Wow! He did like that, I’d bet he’d never had a blowjob, in this day, only whores gave blowjobs, and only if you were lucky. Gauss was very lucky, all three ladies took turns at blowing him. I had a pang of envy, it was pretty mind-blowing when all three ganged up on you like that.

Gauss’ incredible mind was suitably blown, as was his dick, it took hardly any time at all before he was coming. Hanna had him at the time, she sucked in, then released his dick. He then squirted over her, Maria grabbed him and he spurted over her. Then Maria pointed him at Louisa and she got spattered as well. Maria then took him into her mouth for the rest.

When things calmed down sufficiently, I said to no one in particular, “Is that a Gaussian distribution then?” Maria laughed heartily, the other two looked a bit puzzled. Gauss looked contemplative. If you missed the joke, if you’ve ever heard of a bell curve, or grading on a curve, that’s a gaussian distribution, he’d invented it the year before.

—

After the blowjob, the girls and Gauss disappeared into the bedroom for the night. Maria blew me a kiss as she was going and indicated I should keep warm. That’s code for keep my hard-on hard, I’d get some eventually. I spent the night in the room next door, originally meant for Hanna and Louisa. I could hardly believe it, I met Gauss! How often do you meet such a god among mortals? I was happy to let him have the girls for the night, not that I could have stopped them, hell if he’d been interested I’d have let him have me.

The next morning, I was waiting in the drawing room when Gauss and the girls emerged. Gauss was fully clothed and had a spring in his step and a broad smile. The girls were of course still naked. Gauss shook Louisa’s hand warmly and kissed her on the cheek (the one on her face in case you’re wondering). He hugged Hanna and gave her a thorough groping, she seemed very appreciative of the attention. He then did the same for Maria, who also appreciated it, following up with saluting and bowing to Maria, shaking her hand warmly.

He gave Maria an envelope then turned to me. “You are indeed a very lucky man, and I thank you for sharing the bounty with me.”

I shrugged, “As I said, they’re free to share their booty with anyone they choose. If you’re ever in my part of the world, you would be most welcome at my home, I’m sure the girls would be pleased to see you.” Yes, I deliberately said ‘booty’.

I handed him one of my cards, and the girls said almost in unison, “We would.” and nodded in general agreement.

He replied, “That would be most kind of you Mr Somers, but I don’t leave Göttingen these days.”

I shook him warmly by the hand and started to show him out. The girls each kissed him on the cheek. He left, and that’s the last time I ever saw him unfortunately.

When I closed the door, the girls were standing the looking like a blockade. I raised ann eyebrow in question. Maria took the lead, “Poor thing, I don’t think he’d had any since his wife passed away. He had enough for all of us, and then some more.” It looked like they were even more come splattered than last evening. “He was very precise about it, very Teutonic, but we were attending to him, not to our pleasure.” That wasn’t entirely surprising the female orgasm was just about unknown, it was a medical puzzle that doctors performed for husbands, weird.

“He was most concerned that you were mistreating us, but we persuaded him that we appreciate it. So we’re all very horny, …” Both Louisa and Hanna nodded enthusiastically at this, “And YOU are going to help us.” This was very promising, help usually involved me performing oral sex, something I enjoyed greatly. I indicated my shirt, inquiring if they wanted me to strip first, Maria responded, “Later, JUST GET ON WITH IT!” She sounded very insistent as she sat down, so I wasted no time in getting between her legs.

I cleaned Gauss’ come of all three of their cunts, that’s a sentence I never imagined I use. It sounded like an apt description of my intellect compared to Gauss’, ‘fit only to lick his come out of his whore.’

However, it was very tasty, slightly weird taste actually, must be the German diet. All three girls came once, at least, then they had me strip for them. Then I had to lick them all until they were all totally satisfied, when I say ‘had’ to, I wasn’t complaining or anything. Unusually even Louisa came once more. I was getting pretty desperate by this time, so they decided they could all gang up on me like they had Gauss.

When I’d finished in a suitably messy fashion, Maria said “I like your Gaussian distributions, I was trying to make a pun of ‘Phallus’ and “Westphalia’ and failing. Its so difficult to pun nouns of different declensions.” I kissed her, I was getting her a classical education and she was trying to use it to make dirty jokes in Latin. (‘Phallus’ being the latin for ‘dick’ of course.)

“That would have been too corny.” Maria stared to nod in agreement, then just stuck her tongue out at me, I think she got the joke, I’d been trying to work that one in the conversation and failing too. Ceres, as in Gauss’ asteroid was of course the goddess of corn.

‘Pauca sed matura’ it seems means ‘Few, but ripe.’ Gauss’ personal motto. (‘Pannuceus’ would be ‘shabby’.)

 

Mathematics, history, linguistics, mathematicians, sexy women, and sex with those women. If there is something wrong with this story, I didn't see it. The word play, characters, sex, and mathematics were spot on. Great read.

 

The Good: a very interesting play on time travel. It in a way answers the question who would you meet... Strong use of language and wordplay across three languages. This can trip many people up. You handled it very well.

The Bad: Gauss did not rediscover Ceres. He mathematically predicted its location based on earlier observations and sent those observations to Franz Xavier Von Zach, who then teamed up with Heinrich W. M. Olbers. They actually made the rediscovery based on his predictions, which were amazingly accurate. The Ephemerides of orbits he developed are still used today.

The ugly: James is mentioned once in paragraph six. He is never mentioned again. I assume he was a bit part or manservant to the main character but it would have been nice to at least explain who he was. (This is really just a nit-pick. I had to dig pretty hard to find an ugly...)

 

This was an interesting start to the journey of reading all the stories. Good job I enjoyed the time travel and the sex of course. Math was not one of my favorite subjects in school and I am glad that I can still add to my knowledge by reading a story here.

 

You took a subject that is over my head and brought it to that personal level. Excellent research with the language and and time. I liked your characters and felt quite sorry for the widowed doctor. Very nice job, author.

 

The Author would like to say:

Thanks for the comments, and to Norton X.

"The Bad: Gauss did not rediscover Ceres."

I never said he did, quote: "Gauss’ work had allowed Ceres to be rediscovered"

The ugly: Interesting point. Sorry. The story is part of a series, so I was assuming James as well as the rest of the characters were already familiar. I do try to add in an explanatory comment to make the stories standalone, but missed that one.

 

Accepted and my mistake.

 

Who in the world hears "write a sex story about an historical figure" and thinks, Of Course!!! German mathematician Johann Carl Friedrich Gauss???

Apparently, You did! And I love you a little bit for it. What a strange, and for the non math lovers, obscure character to pick! Yet the story was great! I always struggled with math, I have always preferred the languages and science fields, but after reading this I had to look this guy up. Seems you hit all of the pertinent points.( not necessary, but good job. ) You gave me a great story with a reason to look up an historical figure that I previously didn't know existed. Who knew a 17th century nerd could party down with 3 virile young women? Thanks for that.



From the comments I understand this is part of a series. When the competition is over, Please let us all know where to find the preceding stories.

 

Comment for "Gaussian Distribution"

"Who in the world hears "write a sex story about an historical figure" and thinks, Of Course!!! German mathematician Johann Carl Friedrich Gauss???"

I didn't immediately think of him. I had a specific time frame my characters were available for (as you note, as part of a series), so I needed a scientist available then. I couldn't immediately think of anyone except Ørsted, I though I might be stuck him, that would be a bit challenging. My next though was Faraday he's more like it, but he's too much of a prude. So I trawled through a list of Nineteenth century scientists, Ampère was quite promising and I'd get to set it in Paris.

However, when I came across Gauss on the list I knew that was it. He really does have the stature of a god in my world. A lot of historical figures (like say Ørsted) you know for one thing (that electric currents create magnetic fields in the case of Ørsted). Gauss' work is spread throughout a lot of stuff I've worked on. Electric fields (his law is one of Maxwell's equations); basic magnetism he got the unit of it named after him; terrestrial magnetism; I was using his optics in college; his work on orbital elements; his number theory (that's just a hobby of mine); his unpublished work on non-Euclidian geometry (another hobby); not to mention he derrived a method for calculating the date of Easter (which was a thorny problem at the time).

Also not to mention that he actually invented the Fast Fourier Transform 150 years before Cooly and Turkey did (something I didn't realize until researching this story) that's a really fundamental tool in a lot of areas; and he may have had hand in forming Kirchhoff's circuit laws, you seriously can't design an electric circuit without those. That's at least ten accomplishments which would have made him a "famous person", they all come in one package. He does seriously rank among Newton and Einstein, just he seems somewhat overlooked.

When you have material like that to work with, who could resist.

I'm surprised he's thought to be quite so obscure. The unit of magnetic field was named after him (until replaced by the Tesla) all those 1950's Sci-Fi films would measure magnetism in Gauss. Not to mention Gaussian distributions.

 

Those are two different frames of measurement like Vars and Watts. They measure the same thing but on different scales.

1 Tesla is approximately 1,000 Gauss.

 

Comment for Gaussian distribution.

"Those are two different frames of measurement like Vars and Watts. They measure the same thing but on different scales.

1 Tesla is approximately 1,000 Gauss."

I was writing for a non technical audience. Gauss is a unit in the CGS system and was standardized in 1874.

Tesla is a unit in SI, which is an MKS system and superseded the CGS system. The Tesla was formally standardized I'm 1960.

I stand by the Gauss being replaced by the Tesla. The whole system in which Gauss was a unit was replaced by a whole system in which Tesla was a unit.

If you're using Gauss as a unit to measure anything these days, you're doing it wrong, or nostalgic. Though the Gauss is useful for measuring terrestrial magnetic fields, as the terrestrial magnetic field has a strength somewhere around 1Gs, but a rather more awkward number of T.


I note (after checking on CGS/SI) that Gauss proposed the whole rational units idea in the first place. Yet another accomplishment which would have been enough to ensure his place in history. I am personally thankful for the existence of SI, it makes things so much easier

 

I applaud the author of this text for bringing together three themes in one story: mathematics, time travel, and sex. It's what I sometimes call a combination story, requiring not just creativity, but the will to write and finish it. Combination stories add much-needed depth to the erotica category. They are their own reward. Thank you, author, for this tale.

 

I enjoyed this a great deal. Nice idea to write a time-travel story, and a novel character to select. I am happy to admit I had never heard of him, so I commend the author for refusing to bow to the obvious.

Discovering that the story is part of a series answers one of my queries about this; the dissolute, louche attitude of the travellers towards sex seemed incongruous at first, but one assumes that that element of their characters is introduced and explained earlier in the full work. It wasn't to the detriment of the story in any case, and made me wonder if the travellers were from a society in our future where sexual safaris into the past are a common event.

There's a few typos here and there but not enough to make a significant impact on the flow of the story although it did feel slightly disjointed in a few places - once again if this is an excerpt from a longer tale then the back story of the characters would negate this - items such as Hanna's "signed manumission" were an oddity on their own. This piece has a good mixture of sex and story, I'd certainly like to read more, and will look forward to the full story when it is finished.

 

I have to admit that some of the Mathematics discussed was a bit over my head, but it actually added to my enjoyment of the story. You say that it is part of a series, so I would like to know the title and where I could read more. I'm sure many men would love to accompany three beautiful women through time to give solace and comfort to lonely scientists. This was a very clever idea.

 

As I am reading these stories, I am jotting notes. In all of my public responses, I have revealed perhaps one tenth of my notes.

The first thing I jotted, in re this little story, was, in medias res.

Thanks to the author, in his CAW-SOP response, for volunteering that the story is part of a series.

A bit more could have done to help it to stand on its own. Proper vignettes are not simply excised from a larger work and slapped onto a page. Effort is given to the opening and closing, for the provision of boundary and scope. Elements which serve the larger body of work yet have no significance are typically removed, so as not to confuse or distract the reader.

Case in point: the time travel. Either more should have been done with it, within the scope of this story, or it should have been struck entirely from the piece. The time travel aspect added nothing to the story; the male protagonist could have been an erudite international traveler accompanied by three nubile/salacious cousins, with no detriment whatsoever.

That said, I do very much like this story. Gauss is truly a giant, indeed far stronger a mathematician than Einstein, who after all had to cram for seven years on some arcane aspects of tensor arithmetic just to cobble together his General Theory. There has been much quibbling over minutae in that regard. I will merely close by saying that this author has written well.

 

Odd combination of themes chosen here, but they worked.

I, too, think a bit more introduction and conclusion would have helped this piece. As it is, it stands as a chapter in a series. That's not a bad thing, but, like with so many entries this time, I wanted more.

That's not an indictment. It means I enjoyed it enough I didn't want to stop reading.

 

Interesting story, but it felt a bit incomplete to me.

 

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