Adam & Eve & The Devil

Tags: Consensual, Oral, Anal, Fire & Brimstone



The warm, balmy breeze pushed the palm fronds to and fro gently, adding to the idyllic setting. Big, white puffy clouds floated high, slowly traversing the baby blue sky. A light mixture of gardenia and lilac permeated the air. The chirping of birds and a soft buzz from insects coupled with the sultry radiance of sunlight colored the tropical garden a paradise.

"Adam?"

His back up against a strong cleft of branches, Adam looked for his mate and upon finding her walking toward him, smiled warmly.

"Yes, my love?"

Eve looked up and spotted her mate resting comfortably in the large oak tree.

"Would you like to go for a walk to the water?" she asked, her voice almost music to his ears. She returned the smile.

Adam thought back to yesterday when he and Eve went for a walk to the water and remembered the beauty of the landscape, the warmth of the water, and the pleasure they shared. He felt his staff start to stiffen.

"Yes, I would!" and with that he leapt from the tree bough and landed softly on the thick, green grass below, holding out his hand.

Eve noticed his stiffening staff and smiled wider, then offered her hand and away then went.

Neither of the blonde-haired, blue-eyed humans noticed the dark-haired, swarthy man skulking behind a group of dogwoods. But he did notice them, and then followed at a discrete distance.

- - - - -

The lake was a short distance away, teeming with life. There were turtles and fish and amphibians, though none of them interacted with Adam or Eve. The two were never bitten by mosquitoes nor stung by bees, never crawled upon by ants nor bothered by any living creature.

The warm water caressed their bodies like a fine silk robe, the temperature just cozy enough to provide comfort but not too warm which might take away from the refreshment. Both strong swimmers, they frolicked in the sun-drenched lagoon without a care.

When they retreated from the water, the air was warmer than when they entered, so no chill came over their bodies. There were fruit trees a short distance away, so both Adam and Eve filled their bellies with the sweet nectareous yield until they could eat no more. Nourished, they grew sleepy and lay together on the thick carpet of grass under the large fruit tree.

It was Eve who stirred first. Hearing the sounds of small splashes, she let Adam rest and got up herself and walked the short length to the water to see the cause of the noise. It was there that she saw another man, like Adam, but with darker hair, including hair on his face. Unlike Adam, his eyes were very dark in color, and Eve found this interesting. He was throwing stones into the water, and as they would strike the surface of the water, they would skip across it before sinking beneath.

Although she was not used to another man's presence, she had no reason for fear and walked straight over to him.

"My name is Eve," she said, stopping just to the side of him, smiling.

He looked over at her, his dark eyes traveling up and down her body, taking in her nakedness, then coming to rest with focus on her eyes. His gaze was penetrating.

He skipped another stone across the water and Eve counted one-two-three-four-five-six skips before the stone vanished. He handed Eve a small stone.

Eve took the stone and simulated his movement, but the stone failed to skip across the water.

"Let me help you," the man said, and with that, he handed Eve another small stone, then, holding her hand in his, moved behind her, his body close up against hers.

"Move your arm swiftly and make the flat part of the stone strike the surface of the water," and as he spoke, his mouth close to his ear and his voice a soothing baritone, he swung his arm and hers in instruction. Eve nodded her comprehension and then smiled, for she felt his staff pressing up against her, reminding her of Adam.

"Oh, I should go get Adam, he will want to do this too!"

As she started to move away, he held her arm, and both their eyes met once again.

"Let him sleep," his voice suggested, and she nodded agreement.

Letting her arm go, he watched her align herself to the water and then saw her arm propel a stone across the surface, one-two-three-four-five-six-seven times.

Eve smiled broadly and picked up a stone, and this time they both tossed them at the same time. Eve's stone skipped seven times and the man's skipped six times. Again and again they tossed stones, and no matter how many were tossed, each of Eve's skipped exactly seven times, beating the man's toss by one.

"You win," he said simply.

"Win? What is 'win'?" asked Eve.

"Your stones skipped seven times to my six. Mine will always skip six. Seven is more than six. More is better than less, Eve. You are better at this than I. You win."

Eve thought about this for a moment, but it still didn't make any sense to her. She smiled though.

"I would like to give something to you, because you won. Something that will make Adam smile."

"Okay," she said, her smile growing, "I like to make Adam smile."

"I can teach you something that will make Adam smile and feel good. Would you like to learn?"

"Yes, I would," and with that, there was a small rumble of thunder in the distance.

"What was that?" said Eve, turning to look around, her smile fading.

"Nothing to worry about," said the man, a small smirk appearing on his face.

"Worry? What is worry? I do not know this word," said Eve, looking back at the man. She saw that his hand was now down between his legs, and he was stroking his staff. She once again smiled.

"Your staff is big. Do you wish to make it one with me?"

The man smiled at her.

"I wish to teach you how to make Adam happy. Are you ready?"

Eve nodded enthusiastically.

"Good. Kneel down in front of me," he stated, continuing his hand movements.

Eve complied, kneeling, and noticing some liquid appearing at the opening of the man's staff. She watched him continue to stroke his staff with his hand.

"Take your hand, Eve, and do what my hand is doing."

Eve obeyed the command and soon was stroking the thick staff.

"Do you see the liquid at the end of my staff?" he asked, and seeing Eve nod, he continued.

"Taste the liquid."

With no hesitation, Eve leaned forward and stuck out her tongue, licking away at the liquid that was threatening to drip from his staff to the ground. She then leaned back, licked her lips, and then decided that she liked the taste. It was like honey. Moving forward, she once again licked away at the end of the staff, hoping to draw out more liquid. She was sparingly rewarded, then looked up at the man.

"Can you make more liquid? I like the taste. It is sweet like honey."

The man smiled, and again there was a small rumble of thunder in the distance though the sky was only filled with fluffy white clouds.

"Yes, I can. To get more liquid, take your hand away and put my staff in your mouth. Move your mouth back and forth on it, but be careful not to touch my staff with your teeth."

Eve listened carefully to the instructions and then moved forward once again. She withdrew her hand and then opened her mouth, then opened it wider to accommodate the girth of his staff. She felt it inside her mouth and continued to take more and more inside, until she had all of it, the head of it effortlessly passing into her throat. She waited for more instructions, breathing easily.

"Now move your tongue all around, and at the same time, move your mouth back and forth slowly."

Eve complied once again, and began working her tongue all around the shaft while letting it slip mostly out of her mouth, then, she'd work her way back down again, until she had it all. She could feel the end of it sliding inside her throat as if it were the most natural thing.

The man reached down and took hold of her head, guiding her face back and forth along his now saliva-coated shaft.

"That's it, Eve. You are doing this very well. Soon I will give you lots of liquid to taste. You are going to make Adam very happy with this...knowledge."

A loud boom of thunder nearby shook the ground and it startled Eve, but the man calmed her and with his grip on her head, he encouraged her to continue the oral worship under darkening skies.

Eve moaned her acknowledgement of the impending arrival of the tasty treat and moved her tongue faster while increasing the speed of her head movement.

Without warning, Eve felt her mouth fill with liquid and her eyes grew wide.

"Taste it and swallow it, Eve," said the man, whose hips were now pumping as his orgasm hit.

Eve did just that, the warm spray of liquid igniting her taste buds as she swirled it around in her mouth before swallowing all of it. She had momentarily released the shaft but now went back for more, her mouth encircling it while her tongue licked up the honey-flavored remnants.

The sky opened up with a deluge of water, lighting bolts flying and thunderous booms filling the air.

Eve stopped her newly discovered ministrations and looked around behind her, shocked at the turn of events. She got up and looked at the man, but he was gone. She did, however, hear his voice.

"Tomorrow, I will teach you more."

Eve turned and ran off toward where Adam had been resting. She found him standing under a large tree, completely dry. She joined him, and then they both noticed a shift in the wind as the rain now struck both of them, giving each a chill.

They hugged and waited, not knowing what else to do.

- - - - -

Later that evening, when the ground was dry and the sky was filled with pinpricks of light, Adam came to Eve, his staff long and hard. He started to lay down next to Eve but she stopped him. A look of puzzlement came over him, but Eve just smiled.

"Let me show you something, Adam." He nodded his assent.

Eve knelt before Adam and touched his staff gently with her hands. Adam was surprised by this but felt pleasure from her touch. He then saw her lean forward and lick the end of his staff. Adam's eyes shot open, both from the surprise at Eve's actions and from the pleasure that he felt.

Adam involuntarily groaned as Eve took his staff inside her mouth, and, just like earlier in the day, was able to take the whole shaft inside, down to the root, and still breathe comfortably.

As she was moving her mouth back and forth, she noticed the sack underneath his shaft moving, so she reached out with a hand and gently clasped the pouch and began rubbing it.

Adam groaned once again, and stuttered, "Ittt ittt is-s-s happen, happening again!" and with that, his seed shot out and into Eve's throat, for at that moment she had taken his staff as deep as possible. She felt him flexing inside her mouth and she swallowed, keeping his staff buried deep until he was done. When she removed him from her mouth, she was disappointed that she didn't get to truly taste his liquid. When she explained this to him, he said that they could try it again, and this put a smile back on Eve's face.

Adam was happy that he could make Eve happy. He made her happy three more times that night, each time giving her the delicious honey-like nourishment that she so desired.

- - - - -

The next day while Adam went out harvesting some fruit, the man appeared to Eve once again.

"Oh, it's you!" she said, a bit startled, then added, "I don't know your name." She smiled at him.

He smiled back. "I am known by many names, Eve, but you may call me Lucifer."

"Well Lucifer, what would you like to do to--" and while she was talking, he moved close and kissed her on the lips, his hands reaching up, one to the back of her head, holding her so he could kiss her, and the other upon her breast, gently squeezing it and rubbing the erect nipple.

Eve was startled by this and yet moaned into Lucifer's mouth as she felt his tongue moving against hers. She had been feeling warm and wet between her legs this morning, and a little bit anxious, but didn't know why. Now with this kiss and other stimulation, she felt a warmth start to grow between her legs.

Lucifer broke off the kiss and pulled back slightly, his attention solely focused on Eve's eyes.

"That was...that was very nice, Luci--"

With that, he kissed her again, this time with slightly less force, and his tongue tip just barely touching hers, encouraging hers to come out and play with him.

And it did. Their tongues intertwined and she found herself wrapping her arms around him, her body close to his. With a slight gasp, she felt his hand leave her breast and move down between her legs, through the damp, flaxen-colored hair, and to her core, wet with the essence of her desire.

As she felt his fingers touch a certain place between her legs she felt a jolt traverse her body, almost causing her to fall. He continued to rub that spot and the feeling intensified. Then he stopped and pulled away from her.

"Why did you stop?" she asked. "What you were doing felt good."

Lucifer didn't speak, but rather put his hands on her shoulders and pushed downward a bit. Eve took the hint and got down on her knees, and then was surprised when Lucifer moved behind her and also kneeled down. She then felt him push forward on her back, causing her to fall forward onto her hands and knees. He then pushed a bit more up around her shoulders and she lowered herself further, her head close to the ground.

Lucifer nestled in behind Eve and then slid his rigid staff inside of her, feeling her warm, wet folds clasp hold as he pushed his full length inside. Eve whimpered in pleasure at the intrusion but then questioned him.

"Why do you do it like the beasts?"

As a response, he leaned his body over hers and took hold of one of her arms, bringing her hand back underneath her until he found the spot once again.

"Rub," he told her.

Eve rubbed gently and that good feeling came back quickly. Lucifer began withdrawing and then sinking inside her, his hard staff coated with her wetness. This intensified the feelings that Eve felt, and a moment later, she felt her body undergo something so good it made her shiver and shake and cry out loud.

Lucifer, for his part, grabbed hold of her long hair for leverage and began thrusting as deep as he could go, again and again. Eve had never been taken this way before, so vigorously, so strongly. She felt...excited, and the warm feeling between her legs intensified.

"Oh, what's happening to me!" she exclaimed, feeling Lucifer's staff growing harder within her with each deep thrust.

The continued thrusting caused her sensitive nipples to scratch across the ground beneath her, providing just enough extra stimulation to send her to a second orgasm.

She became limp afterwards as Lucifer continued to buck against her, in her, until he spent his seed within. When he was sated he pulled out of her and said "Now you have even more to share with Adam," and then he stood up and continued. "Tomorrow, I will show you more." Then he left without any further words.

Eve couldn't wait to show Adam what she had learned.

- - - - -

Eve did show Adam what she had learned, and Adam smiled and made Eve happy that day and night, and all was good in the Garden of Eden.

The following day Eve wandered off on her own toward the water, hoping to see Lucifer once again. She was startled by a slight crunching sound and turned, seeing Lucifer walking toward her, eating some fruit. She recognized it as fruit from the forbidden tree, and a look of concern came over her face.

"Lucifer, Father has forbidden us to eat fruit from that tree. Why did you disobey Him?"

Lucifer slowed, took one more bite, savoring the taste, and then let the fruit fall to the ground. He smiled.

"Eve, how is it that you think I learned all of these wonderful things I'm teaching you? The fruit is forbidden to you because He does not want you to learn."

The crack of thunder in the distance was barely noticed.

As Eve thought about what Lucifer told her, he moved close to her and began kissing her and caressing her body. She responded to him by kissing back and reaching down to fondle his staff. When she broke away from the kiss, she smiled and spoke to him.

"Your staff is getting very stiff this morning!"

"Cock."

"What is cock?" she asked.

"My staff. It is called a cock. The opening between your legs. That is your cunt."

Eve thought for a moment. "I like cock, but I do not like cunt. I don't know why."

Lucifer smiled. "It is known by another word. Pussy."

"Oh," said Eve, a smile back on her face, "that's much better! Thank you!"

"Let me show you something," said Lucifer, and with that, he took hold of Eve by the hips and used his impressive muscles, hoisting her into the air and turning her upside down, pulling her close.

"Oh...your cock is right at my face. Do you want me to--" and she was cut off as Lucifer nudged his hips forward, pushing his cock into her mouth.

As Eve wrapped her arms around his body to steady herself, she began bobbing her head.

On his cock, she thought. His cock. Cock. I like the word cock. I like cock. Eve likes cock. Oh, wait until I tell Adam about--OH MY!

Her thoughts were interrupted by a wonderful feeling between her legs as Lucifer introduced the first human female to the art of cunnilingus.

Oh my, thought Eve, that must be his tongue! He's licking my--my--pussy! Yes, he's licking my pussy and that is so good. I must make him feel equally good. And with that she concentrated on what she was doing, dragging her lips along the length of his cock and reaching down with one hand to caress his sack.

For his part, Lucifer gave even better than he received. His tongue was particularly talented and his goal was to corrupt the young woman. He licked up and down her lips and then, once thoroughly wet, he pushed one of his fingers inside. The response was a moan and he knew he was on the right track. He felt Eve working almost reverently on his cock and now opted to move his attention to her clitoris.

As he sucked the fleshy morsel into his mouth he felt Eve's legs spasm and tighten around his head. He swished his tongue back and forth over it, tasting her and causing electric sensations to travel throughout her body.

Just moments later Eve orgasmed, her body awash with endorphin induced bliss. She cried out, pulling her mouth off of his cock momentarily as the feelings overwhelmed her.

Lucifer didn't release her, though. Instead, he forced her to ride the orgasmic roller coaster all the way down and then began driving her up toward the next peak.

"Oh please, oh stop, please, oh God, wait please--" and there was another rumble of thunder heard, but it fell upon deaf ears as Eve's body was on sensory overload.

Lucifer let Eve down to the ground and once again put her in the position of the beast. Eve allowed herself to be moved around and felt Lucifer enter her. She felt him thrust several times back and forth, her well-lubricated pussy providing him with easy access. Then she felt him pull completely out and wondered what was next.

She didn't have to wait long.

"Here is your next lesson, Eve," and with that, Lucifer lined up his cock with her other opening and began to push. As the head of his cock pushed through her reluctantly yielding opening, Eve's eyes shot open as she felt pain for the first time in her life.

"OH!! What is that! Stop, it does not feel good!" said Eve, trying to move forward and away from the impalement. Lucifer's grip on her hips prevented any such movement. However, he did stop pushing forward and then spoke to her.

"Do you want to feel good, Eve, instead of this feeling?"

"Yes! Yes! Anything but this!" she replied.

"Eve, if only you had tasted the fruit, you would know what to do. You would have knowledge. Why would He want you to suffer when you do not need to? I know what to do, Eve," said Lucifer, holding her steady but still not thrusting inward.

"Please. Please tell me what to do," she exclaimed, worried that the bad feeling might return.

Lucifer smiled.

"Two things, Eve. First, promise me that tomorrow you will taste the fruit of the tree."

"But it is forbidden to taste that fruit. He has said--OWWW!" her thoughts were cut off as Lucifer pushed forward a half-inch, and while his cock was somewhat lubricated, it was not nearly enough for a pain-free passage.

"Stop! Yes, okay, I will taste the forbidden fruit tomorrow!"

Lucifer grinned malevolently as he heard the sonic boom of thunder getting closer.

"Okay, now, take the fruit next to you on the ground and reach back and wipe it all along my shaft, then give it to me."

Eve did what she was told, coating Lucifer's shaft with the slippery fruit nectar. She then handed the rest of the fruit to him. Eve felt him swab the fruit between her ass cheeks, getting her wet and syrupy. He then dropped the fruit and replaced his staff at her opening. As he nudged forward, the lubrication made entry far, far easier, and his greasy shaft slide inside, inch by inch, until he was almost all the way inside of her.

"What--is the--second--thing?" asked Eve, still feeling discomfort but nothing like what she felt just minutes earlier.

"Rub."

Eve immediately knew what he meant and reached one hand back, touching herself between her legs. She began to rub quickly and within a few seconds began to feel the discomfort fade and be replaced by good feelings.

Lucifer could tell because he could feel some of the tension in her ass release. At noticing that, he began withdrawing an inch and pushing forward. Hearing no protest, he withdrew two inches and then sunk balls deep once again. And again, there was no protest. Satisfied, he withdrew until just his head was clasped within, and then leaned forward, watching every inch sink back inside her tight opening.

Eve now groaned but it was definitely more pleasure than pain as her pleasure center was being duly rubbed by her own fingers.

They kept this up, the pace increasing until Lucifer was slamming his staff again and again into her back orifice. Eve was on the edge.

"Oh my God...fuck me..." and Lucifer was quick to reply, as Eve's orgasm crashed upon her.

"Yes, child, I am a God to you," and with that, he spat his seed within her, again and again as bolts of lightning criss-crossed the area and extraordinarily loud thunder shook the ground upon which they copulated.

With one last grunt, Lucifer finished and withdraw from Eve, causing her to turn around.

He was gone.

- - - - -

Eve had a tough time sleeping that night. She was thinking about the promise that she made Lucifer and was worried. Adam didn't understand why she wasn't happy, and Even didn't want to explain, so she simply pleasured him with her mouth a half dozen times throughout the day and into the evening, which stopped him from asking further questions.

That next morning Eve arose and walked to the lake where she bathed. When she got out, she saw Lucifer standing there, looking at her. She noticed that he was eating fruit once again, and he was holding another uneaten fruit in his hand.

"Lucifer, I am worried that He will be angry with me if I eat of the fruit," said Eve, wringing her hands.

"My child, it is natural for you to be nervous. But you need not be afraid. Have I led you astray yet?"

"Well, no..."

"And hasn't Adam been happy with you?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"No buts, Eve. You made a promise, remember? You do keep your promises, don't you?"

"But if I eat the fruit I will break a promise--"

"No, because you did not promise not to eat the fruit. You were told not to eat it. That is different."

Eve thought about this for a moment.

"You are correct. I didn't not promise, but I did promise you."

Lucifer handed Eve the fruit. She looked at it. It looked like other fruit that she had eaten before.

"What will happen when I eat it?"

"You will become knowledgable, Eve. You will start to learn things and become smarter. You'll learn things that will make Adam even happier than he is now!"

Eve smiled, and sank her teeth into the fruit.

She found that it tasted good, like all other fruit she had tasted. She bit into it again, and again, and ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

As she was eating, she began to notice things around her. She heard some insects buzzing, and the sound annoyed her a bit. Then she saw that some of the juice from the fruit had leaked onto her breast and she looked for a leaf to wipe it off. As she did, she noticed Lucifer staring at her, looking at her breasts.

Out of reflex, she covered her breasts with her arms.

"Why do you look at me like that, Lucifer?"

"Because I want you, Eve."

She thought about that for a moment.

"But I'm Adam's wife, not yours. We should not...we should...not...do those things. They are for man and wife."

Lucifer smiled. "See, now you are learning," he said.

Eve saw that he was now looking between her legs and she felt uncomfortable.

"I need to find something to cover myself with. I don't like being..." and she couldn't yet come up with the word.

"Naked?" supplied Lucifer.

Eve thought for a moment. "Yes, naked, that is the word. I should only be naked with Adam."

Eve ran off into the woods to hide from Lucifer's gaze and to find something that she could use to cover herself.

When she appeared later to Adam, she had some large leaves covering her breasts and genitalia, held in place by some small, flexible vines.

Adam laughed and asked her why she was wearing plants. Eve told Adam that she didn't want anyone looking at her while she was naked.

"What is nay-ked?" asked Adam.

"Naked is when you don't have any coverings, like you are right now."

"What is wrong with how I look?"

"It's just wrong, Adam. I made something for you to cover your staff."

Adam thought for a moment.

"Eve...how did you know it is wrong? How did you learn nay-ked?"

Eve explained that she ate from the tree, that she met Lucifer and he was wise and knew so much and that he told her that she too could become wise.

"But Eve, He told us not to eat of that tree!"

"Yes, because He does not want us to become smart like Him. I ate from the tree, Adam, and nothing bad has happened to me, has it? Now it is your turn."

And with that, Eve produced a fruit for Adam.

There was a rumble of thunder in the distance.

Adam hesitated.

"Adam," said Eve, walking close to him and holding the fruit in one hand, began stroking his staff with the other, "you like what I do with my mouth to your staff, do you not?"

Adam nodded, feeling his staff lengthening rapidly.

"If you taste the fruit, you will learn how to give me that much pleasure too," she continued, the thunder getting closer and louder, "and we will both learn many, many more wonderful things."

Adam did want to please Eve, so he took the fruit and ate from it.

As the fruit entered his mouth and he chewed, ear-splitting booms of thunder punctuated each chomp and rain began to pelt against the two of them, with stupendous flashes of lightning near blinding them, causing them both to drop to the ground and cower.

In a thunderous voice replete with reverberation, both heard what could only be a God's voice.

"I am the Lord, thy God. You have disobeyed me. You have eaten the fruit from the forbidden tree, and for that, you shall be banished from this Garden of Eden. You shall live among the beasts and you will know suffering and misery and you will learn of the great misfortune that now has been set upon you and all of your children."

With that, a tremendous flash erupted and knocked both Adam and Eve unconscious. When they awoke, they saw that the lush Garden that they were used to living in was gone, and now all around them was sand with a few scattered palms. There was an outcropping of rocks on some hilly ground in the distance, so they started walking there, too shocked by the events to even talk.

Hours later, near dark, they reached the hilly ground and found a small stream where they were able to take in some water and then rest under a few trees. There was a chill in the air, something unusual to them.

"Adam, I am so sorry for what has happened."

Adam stared into the distant landscape for a few minutes, then spoke.

"He is very angry with us. I don't know if He will ever forgive us. I think...I think we will suffer."

Eve just curled up next to Adam, shivering, and he held her as she wept.

Later that evening, Eve tried to give Adam pleasure, but she found that she could no longer take all of him in her mouth, that after a few inches, she gagged. She had never gagged before. When Adam spent his seed in her mouth, she found it salty, not honey-like.

"Things are different now," she said, and Adam just nodded his head and swatted at a fly which was bothering him, something he never had to do before.

- - - - -

"You could not leave well enough alone, could you, Lucifer?"

Lucifer awoke when he heard the voice, standing up and looking around.

"You said your creations would have free will. I simply showed Eve the true meaning of free will."

"You tempted her with your superior knowledge and charm!"

"Go away, you bore me," and with that, Lucifer started to walk away.

A single lightning bolt appeared and struck Lucifer, dissolving the man, and leaving a serpent in his place.

"I cannot rid the Earth of you, Lucifer, but I can make you suffer. You will now crawl below the lowest beast and you will crawl through the waste and excrement of Earth's animals. You will speak with a forked tongue so that all will know you are the Devil. You will be so disgusting and vile that you will not be able to stand your own skin and will shed it. You, Lucifer, are damned!"

And with that, Lucifer crawled out of the Garden of Eden, and so began the time of humans on Earth.

 

Wow, this is the second of two stories I have read which feature Old Nick himself. I like this one a great deal, a more explicitly detailed take on a familiar story. Sexy, with a mysterious, threatening aura I felt that the narrative amply described the scene, I could picture it in detail, without being over-wordy or drawn out.

Very good writing indeed.

 

Quite the erotically, devilish tale we have here. Some creative license was used in this fictional re-telling of a Bible text, and the result is cataclysmically sexy. Fine storytelling.

 

very nice read.

 

The good: An odd darkening of a tale of man's origins. Very well written and thoroughly enjoyable.

The bad: Adam truly was secondary to the tale. His part felt almost as filler for the story.

The ugly: There are a few out there that might find this tale very offensive. Religion is on subject I stay away from. I do hope people's deep seated prejudices do not hurt you in the voting.

 

A very nicely done piece! Is there any way to add this in the Bible?

 

Good.

I'll risk some criticism. Author, whoever you are, read on if you dare.

Lots of picky things, only mildly distracting. E.g., discrete is not discreet. And so on.

A big structural issue: the premise. Knowledge of sex: the oldest metaphor. Hmm. It has been done many times. Nothing whatsoever wrong with doing it again. On the other hand...

I daresay the Bible did it better. (Not a stretch, right? The Bible is, after all, the Greatest Book.)

Lucifer did not teach Eve knowledge of fellatio on his cock. He taught Adam and Eve knowledge of each other.

The sex is fine. In my opinion the Bible needed more of it. But perhaps this particular story would have worked better without a corporeal Lucifer. The triangle seemed strained. It ended implausibly. God, angry. At the kids. Why? The Bible did it better, because Lucifer was not a seducer. Lucifer was a teacher.

 

Another take on the Garden of Eden story. I really enjoyed this one and could not stop reading it till I reached the ending. This was one of the best stories I have read so far. Good job

 

I liked this one a lot.

I probably think just about the opposite to clarise' comments. Its been done many times, I though this one was a good fresh take, nicely done. The bible definitely didn't do it better. What Lucifer taught Eve is not known, this was a very effective way of teaching A&E about each other.

 

For every Siskel, there must be an Ebert....

 

A very erotic biblical tale of innocence lost. Each scene with the dark-haired stranger was sexier than the previous. I felt the dialogue was very appropriate for the time. Just another of the dozen to put on my short list.

 

Whether this is a better take on Original Sin than the Old Testament or not is moot. This is a hot tale told by a master of mood writing.

While it mainly featured sex, this didn't feel so much like a sex story as it did a story about morality, temptation, and innocence.

Another good reason to have three votes available.

 

It was hmmm different I love to read this was a little hard for me to swallow as like a few others I think you took a little too much poetic license, though like it some

 

Ah, and now we have a story about not just the Devil, but Adam and Eve too. Well, mostly Eve, as Adam took a supporting role in this tale. The concept was fun (I say fun because I'm not offended by religious stories) and an innovative way to explain how Eve got conned into eating the fruit. Plenty of sex too. Maybe a little more story would have been helpful, but overall a good showing. Pretty sure I know who wrote this one.

 

That depends on who you ask. Some ancient/medieval Jewish and Christian scholars really did think the forbidden fruit represented sex. Whether that was really supported by the text or whether they all just had something on their minds is a bit of a coin toss, but the foundation is there is someone wants to do something about it. In fact, I’m surprised (just now, minutes ago) to read in the New World Encyclopedia that some very serious folks interpreted the scripture exactly as this author did:

“Some rabbis viewed the Fall as sexual. Through the illicit sexual intercourse of Eve with the serpent, the nature of her descendants was corrupted (Shab. 146a).”

I also seem to remember a class lecture from some years ago about the importance of snakes as symbols of fertility and male sexual virility in non-Jewish religions and the political subtext of vilifying the snake in these stories. So, yeah, you could go there, if you wanted. More importantly, I think making the relationship between the characters explicitly sexual makes the story better (regardless of whether it grooves with the original material or not) for a couple of reasons:

1) It provides an easy opportunity for fuck scenes, which are always a crowd pleaser.

2) It creates tension and a sense of drama and conflict. The reader knows the significance of what’s happening but Eve does not. Granted, this would be true even with a more PG-version of the tale, but doing it this way also introduces a new locus for conflict: Eve is now not just going behind God’s back but also behind Adam’s, all while being so blissfully ignorant that she doesn’t know it.

3) It enables this rather clever bit at the end: “’You like what I do with my mouth to your staff, do you not? If you taste the fruit, you will learn how to give me that much pleasure too, and we will both learn many, many more wonderful things.’” It is actually not hard to see how that would be a persuasive argument (at least, persuasive for these characters as we understand them). More so than the motivations usually imagined for each of them, which mostly consist of idle curiosity and being easily duped.

I agree that doing it the way this story does lacks some subtly. The idea that the devil tempted Eve not with the compelling force of his personality and words but just by fucking her brains out seems somewhat…lesser. But it accomplishes a few things that a more traditional take on the story does not, and becomes a tradeoff.

A few things I had a problem with:

1) We got dramatic foreshadowing thunder something like 11 times in the course of this story. Twice would have been sufficient. In truth, I don’t much like any of the material involving God himself, as it seems almost silly and amateurish to have God speaking in these terms and this tone. Granted, God speaks in a certain affected way in the Bible too, but the Bible has a certain tone and this story has another.

2) Was anyone else bothered that Adam and Eve are blond and blue-eyed but the devil is “swarthy”? There is a long tradition of such imagery, I guess, but it’s not a tradition rooted in anything we’d call a positive sociological context.

3) Writers seem to think that not using contractions makes us take dialogue more seriously and gives a story an antique tone. I suppose it’s true to say that contractions are anachronistic in a lot of stories set in the past…but so too is the entire English language, and that’s been handily provided for us here. Doesn’t dialogue like:

"Oh, it's you! I don't know your name."

Sounds much more natural and plausible than:

“What is worry? I do not know this word.”

The latter sound awkward and forced. At times, even self-important. Someone might point out that I’ve hardly been blameless of this myself in the past, and they wouldn’t be wrong…but I still think it’s so now. The use of the word "staff" is problematic for the same reason. I guess they can't go around saying "penis," but this isn't much less silly.

 

Yes, yes. The sexual metaphor does have antecedents.

In another similarly themed CAW story, Lilith is introduced, and she is super-apocryphal. I did not raise an objection, because this is trash fiction on a porn site (no offense) and my response to all such non-sequiturs is, "Roll with it."

The fact remins, Lilith was a creative stretch in that other story, but in this particular case one need not delve so far afield, for creative inspiration. The Apple=Sex. Cool. Old as the hills and ripe for the picking. As I said in my post, the forbidden fruit as carnal knowledge is mankind's oldest metaphor.

I can do exegesis with the best of them, but I'm sure as hell not going to do it here.

My point is that, if we accept the premise that the metaphor of carnal knowledge-equals-sex holds, then Lucifer-as-teacher would be an intriguing way to go and would possibly make for a hotter sex story.

To wit: Adam and Eve, innocent as the dawn, unaware of themselves, mindlessly and irrationally in love, without a clue as to how they might possibly express it with these new unfamiliar bodies to which they've been miraculously conferred; his breath upon her skin, her fingers upon a waist-level prominence that inexplicably grows with the stress and strain of its passion, the heat, the unfamiliar wetness, cast in a tableau replete with beast cavorting and mating with an instinctual naturality that defies coarse human cognition; and thereupon, insinuated deviously upon the scene, lurks Lucifer, the teacher, with His guttural whispers and his licentious innuendo, "Feel her, Adam, feel her moist gravid wetness, warm and wet as fecund spring; take him, Eve my luscious delight; take him and hold him, stroke him harder; make him desperate, make him helpless; make him forget himself and his world and his god; take him Eve and show him the pregnant bower of gods, and devils; fuck him, Eve," Lucifer deviously whispers, "mount him and fuck him and show him the Creation, the Apocalypse, and all infinitude of epochs that lie therein...."

Etc. etc.

So we have Lucifer the teacher, Lucifer the instigator, Lucifer the perverter of innocence, the defiler of God's glorious design, the usurper of purity, teaching Creation's first lovers how to fuck and pleasure each other and breed and make Creators of themselves! Oh, Cad! Oh, dastardly Lucifer!

Or have Lucifer fuck Eve in the ass while Adam, the pitiful cuckolded third wheel, looks on.

Sheesh.

 

But wouldn't that make human sex entirely the work of the devil?

 

LOL.

Well, my obsidian samurai, Satan needs a role.

For savagery, God has him beat hands down.

 

I didn't care for the cuckold aspect of this story, but other than that, I liked it. Very creative to make the Devil a man at first instead of a serpent.