This one is for all of you who have had a partner who was just awful at cunnilingus or fellatio . . . or for the more primal-minded; pussy munching or cock gobbling.

What did this inept partner do that was just plain wrong, clumsy or bad enough to just turn you off . . . maybe even so bad that you would rather they just didn't even try anymore. Excruciatingly embarrassing details are appreciated.

 

well one of my gf's gave me the ole wood chipper. meaning she used her teeth.

my other gf never gave me a full blow job. as in she would suck it for 20sec then stop and kiss me and say so how was that. i like that felt like 10 fucking seconds keep going i had to tell her that about 50 times. and she had the most horrible pussy it was unshaven and was fucking rank smell. not the usual smell this was real worse. i ended up pull back after like 30 sec and i was picking hair out of my mouth. which was a real big turn off.

if theres any girl out there that would like me to go down on them let me know i need a nice pussy right about now. help a friend out.

 

I'm very sweet ... but that's neither here nor there, cuz I'm sure we'll never meet.

I'm not very fond of the tip of the tongue method ... where only the tip of the tongue is used to poke around. I want the whole tongue. That soft, warm, wet, pleasing tongue ... and it should start at the ass and go all the way to the clit. Over and over.

I'm also not a fan of the always soft touch. You know what I mean? Like you can barely feel it. Get that thing out and do something with it! And while you're at it, use your fingers.

 

I've never had any derogatory comments from either my male or female partners.

I've known loads of guys who can't give oral sex- they always focus on one thing too much, either clit or opening, but never the right balance of both.

 

no thats not true we'll meet. maybe not in this life but deff in the nexted. and wen we finally meet if you want we can go into a cloud and i'll do all those things that you like and lick you just the way you want it.

 

Knew one girl that thought a 'blow job' meant you actually just blew on it.

 

no no no try this one. mine thought you blow into it. she spread my idk cock lips and literally blew air in me. it hurt like shit. im likewtf r u doin. she said isnt this how you give a blowjob... no you just suck it.

 

aww poor girl takes things way too literally

 

lmfao

 

Tidy Up

I can't stand feeling like I've been drooled on, It's just plain nasty. I'm an educator and when I'm doing my grown and sexy, I don't want to think about my students.

 

huh. what the fuck are you talking about????

 

Ah sweety wish I could do you. Licking then sucking clit, then at same time fingers in pussy on Gspot and in anus, Guaranteed to give you a SCREAMING ORGASM.

Lainie

 

hmm...what? do your students drool on you or something?

 

This one is going in my notebook for sures.

 

There's a certain type of guy who read in some textbook that the clit is the key to everything, and he goes right for it, ignoring everything else, and just starts lashing away with his tongue, like he was cranking a Model T to get it started.

And Piggit is right, too...some guys are a little too gentle, refined, restrained. That's okay for starters, but I'm not a barbie doll and guys shouldn't be afraid to shove my legs back and apart, lick me all over like a slavering dog, spit on me and fuck me deep with their stiffened tongues.

And then I want them to go to work on me.

 

Koreans are horrible at oral. My last K-girlfriend would throw herself on my dick like she was trying to impale her head on my cock. I'm all about a little deepthroat but that hurt. Beyond that she was just all over the place, no technique or patience. She liked doing it, just had no skill. I tried to work with her, train her up a bit, but we were only together for a few months. There was some improvement in that time, but it was marginal. I was mostly just happy that she wasn't bruising me anymore.

So, incase any guy or girl is inclined to do what she did, don't. Unless otherwise specified, of course. The only tip I offer to people who are looking for advice is just to listen. Every women/man is different, no one is going to like all the same things that worked for you last time, so just tune in to your partner and pay attention.

-S-

 

If you're not sure, ask

Yes they do, I teach at a developmental child care center and many of the students drool. I appreciate you being tactful when you didn't understand my comment.

 

No need to be rude

See comment #18. Oh by the way, those girls meant to hurt your rude ass!! Read your past posts and see what type of women your behavior attracts.

 

i still dont know what the fuck your talking about and either does daddyslilslut. so dont fucking get in my face about it.

 

You suck so bad Zack. You can't possibly be over 18 with the abusive and generally retarded way that you talk. It irritates me beyond measure. She explained herself and it made sense. Just because you're not intelligent enough to understand it isn't her fault.

To the OP, yeah, I've had some not-so-great experiences. Mainly it was what has already been discussed... a super delicate touch and then, the opposite (from someone else): they were so hell bent on pleasing me that he damn near drowned himself, doing too much tongue penetration and no clit stimulation whatsoever... just... bad. Sad, and bad.