I Heard God Punished Kanye For Fucking With Her Swiftness...

 

You can tell from this photo that this guy has a problem. Look at his hands. He's telling himself that he hasn't checked out his balls for at least 20 seconds and he's afraid they may have emigrated to Cuba or Mexico. He can't wait for this stupid photographer (you have to be a raving looney to want to take shots like this) to piss off so he can give his gonads a hug. Such are the daily inconveniences of being the most beautiful, most intelligent, most loved, most productive and most talented human on the planet.

#wearekanyesing?kanyefuck!!!-

 

Wow you guys really hate Kanye

 

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Personally I'd love to get him on his own without his body guards (who will soon be leaving him now he's penniless). See how hard he thinks he is then. A 80 year old granny with a broom would mop the floor with his face.

 

His fans are swarming to the rescue, a whopping $1700 raised on facebook or some such site already.

 

You guys have this all wrong. He's not penniless. He has money to buy mansions and furs; he said so. But you see, he can't use that money for his failing businesses. That would take the food out of his family's mouths and they deserves everything they have.

Rapper and fashion designer Kanye West, who says he is $53 million in debt, has asked Facebook 3.53% CEO Mark Zuckerberg to invest $1 billion into his “ideas.” West said that people do not give money to “real artists” like him but rather open schools in Africa.

 

Kanye is right about one thing, I'd launder money through Nigeria before I'd invest in his fashion foray.

 

There is some good still left in the world. I see a young student in Flint has raised more money online than Kanye has been able to raise. Difference being, the student is raising money to buy hand sanitizer because the kids are scared to wash their hands in the city water supply. Kanye's charity...himself. Go figure.

 

Following on the heels of Pizza Hut UK — which expertly trolled ‘Ye earlier this week — the Philadelphia police have now offered Kanye a position in their department. Referencing a base salary of $47,920, they estimated Kanye could be out of his debt by 3122. What a deal!

For good measure, they also included an expertly Photoshopped pic of Kanye in uniform, as well as a clever jab at Tidal, which Kanye’s new album The Life Of Pablo has been exclusively streaming on. AND they even linked to the department’s career page to make the application process extra easy for Yeezy. So thoughtful.

Never mind that Kanye once rapped “I say fuck the police, that’s how I treat ‘em” in “All Falls Down” or, more recently, “Hands up, we just doing what the cops taught us” in the TLOP cut “Feedback.” We’re sure ‘Ye would rock that badge and use his authority oh-so-wisely.

 

Get your shots first and wear protection - alot of protection

 

Kayne is wrong, the greatest singer is of course Weird Al

 

Well, it looks like Kanye's financial troubles are over.

Apparently, 847 very generous stupid individuals have stepped up to the plate.

His G0FundMe site, Get Kanye Out of Debt now shows:

Raised by 847 people in 16 days

$7,130 of $53.0M (ooooh, so close...so close)

Kanye feel the love tonight (tonight...)


And now we know why Zuckerberg didn't get back to him on that $1B loan. He may have um, dialed a wrong number, kinda sorta.