I’m thankful the flies come in waves, at least some time alone

 

I watched my kid at his first football camp last night and I’m just so proud of him. He’s been sick for a couple of weeks with a bad cold and infection, but he still gave it his all and did some brutal drills. I was tired just watching lol.

 

My husband told me to go on a short walk today. I took a pic of the street sign as proof. He asked whose head was in the pic. It was mine.

 

I’ve been coloring my hair longer than I’ve known my husband. Apparently neither of us know what my hair color is.

 

For the record I identify as a brunette.

 

No I haven’t.

 

My daughter is the same she can't remember either

 

I didn't dye mine it just went from brown to grey

 

But only one grey pubic hair
No worries down there

 

One time when I lost my identity I started to drift out to sea in a boat with no ores. But my wife and her unconditional love could not abide that because she can't swim. So instead she took me out in the dessert where we watched the sunset. We developed a scale from one to ten which has to light up the whole sky. And and sunset by sunset I gradually came back.

But tonight I don't think I've ever seen a sunset like tonight.

 

“That will not do.”

Lordy the subby alarm bells going off in my head.

Yeesh I hate being so predictable.

 

It would be nice if it would stop raining so the field isn't soaked for the soccer game later.

 

I hate driving. I need a chauffeur.

 

Wonder what crawled up Stanley's ass?
I see the Favorite GIF thread has been moved.

 

From last night.

 

Uh excuse you? I’m the Lizard King you peasant.

 

Just when you think they might actually be gone…

 

I'm confused lol

 

Ha ha...wont ask