When you talk to her tell her how it really is for you. I was going through a similar issue with my serious girlfriend and we where able to talk it out and we are going on months now of the greatest sex we've had in our lives because of our talks. Before it wasn't enjoyable for either if/when it ever happened.

Tell her its not just some release of sexual tension, but its about love, passion, romance, the whole nine yards. And its honestly true for most in a commited relationship. Also be caring, you are not mad at her, but don't be shy or embarrased either, this is just a part of a relationship, and if you guys don't work on it together the relationship WILL fail. Don't be afraid to tell her that.

 

WHAT!?!?!?

Did you just say it's been 6 weeks since she gave birth? Most doctors recommend a MINIMUM of 6 weeks before engaging in intercourse. I imagine it's hormones and the stress and demand of a newborn baby that could be to blame. Even then, you can't just expect her to jump right back in the sack with you. I really cannot believe you're even complaining at this point and frankly, I'm slightly disgusted. She's just been through a 9 month pregnancy and childbirth. I feel for you and I can understand that 7 months is quite taxing on your patience but you need to have a little compassion. Pregnancy isn't like it is in the movies. Her back probably hurt, her whole body hurt, she was most likely tired all day and all night. I have a friend who told me that she wakes up every single day wishing it were 10pm at night so she could go back to sleep again. This woman was my buddy when we were single ladies and we partied hard so I know she's not a lazy bum. I hate to say this but you are impatient. Start to wonder at 3 months, maybe talk to her. Consider getting her help after a year.

I'm sorry but seriously... I can't believe you live with this woman and have watched her suffer and then wonder what happened to your sex life.

 

get her 2 go out with you and have a few drinks maybe a bottle of wine or 2

 

Well I tried talking to her, but she wasn't really interested in listening. So I sit here on the couch on another Saturday evening bored. Heck, even my two year old hung out with me while she was sleeping. I guess the 10 hours of sleep she got last night while I took care of both kids at different times wasn't enough.

Geez, I hope she gets through this quickly. It's depressing.

Christina, you are way out in left field on this one. You're friend has issues if she wants to go back to bed. I can't wait to get up and spend the day with my family, including my wife. I always hope the day will be better then the last. As for the recovery, she's been cleared. Besides there's a lot more to sex then just sticking it in her you know. You will understand when you are marriage with a life long partner.

 

It's been 6 years since our second kid and I can count on both hands how many times that I have had sex with my wife. I haven't had any sex in the past 2 years with my wife. None, zip, zilch, nadda. I troll the fourms too, but I don't do anything about it. Before our kids, we used to have sex everyday, and now nothing. So I do feel your pain. And we have been to the doctors and they can't find anything wrong with her hormone levels or anything, and counseling didn't work either.

 

Who said I'm not???

I don't pretend to know all the answers and I do feel for you. I just really think you need to have more patience. And the friend I was referring to is 9 months pregnant. The last trimester has been very difficult for her and she is due to give birth to her baby girl on the 22nd. My point is that pregnancy is so difficult and you should have more compassion.

 

You're a strong dude. Your wife probably doesn't know how good you are.

 

i feel for you man i have the same prob it will come and go with the sexy after awile but and i have cheated a couple time in 10 yrs and it help more then you will ever know but not once did i ever concider a man suckin me off to get it do

 

I'll just be as patient as the poor dude above, Manosax.

 

Have you tried to get a night or weekend away without the kids?

I was in a similar situation and we were able to get away for a couple of days. When we were away and alone, it was back to the way things "used" to be and I realized then that she wanted it as much as I did but life was keeping her from being focused on sex

 

Yeah be patient.

A friend of mine told me he used to go crazy about sex. Now it's all gone. Xhamster is the relief if an occasional need arises. That's his life now.

That's what patience does to you.

You become all virtue. Or virtual maybe :excited:

Irony aside - noone can tell you what to do about having sex with your wife. At least one guy here posted about no sex and everything being normal healthwise. A doctor will be happy to see you and your wife - you mean only $$$ to most of these suckers. They like to keep you coming back too. Talking to your wife may or may not bring a change. And so on.

So, my advice is - no matter how all this evolves - decide what's important in your life. If you are clear on the basics the details easier to work out.

I wish masturbation was a viable replacement for lack of sex. It'd solve so many issues. Same with finding a lover - not just a one night stand - if it's not fulfilling it's exactly what you called it - "assisted masturbation".

 

WHAT!?!?!?

Did you just say it's been 6 weeks since she gave birth? Most doctors recommend a MINIMUM of 6 weeks before engaging in intercourse. I imagine it's hormones and the stress and demand of a newborn baby that could be to blame. Even then, you can't just expect her to jump right back in the sack with you. I really cannot believe you're even complaining at this point and frankly, I'm slightly disgusted. She's just been through a 9 month pregnancy and childbirth. I feel for you and I can understand that 7 months is quite taxing on your patience but you need to have a little compassion. Pregnancy isn't like it is in the movies. Her back probably hurt, her whole body hurt, she was most likely tired all day and all night. I have a friend who told me that she wakes up every single day wishing it were 10pm at night so she could go back to sleep again. This woman was my buddy when we were single ladies and we partied hard so I know she's not a lazy bum. I hate to say this but you are impatient. Start to wonder at 3 months, maybe talk to her. Consider getting her help after a year.

I'm sorry but seriously... I can't believe you live with this woman and have watched her suffer and then wonder what happened to your sex life.

i agree with her!!! i am a wife and a mother of 2!! 6 weeks and your posting this!!!! just cause the dr gave the ok to have sex again doesn't mean she feels normal again!!!!!!!! god damn give her a break!!

 

Have you tried just taking the kids out with you and let her chill out at (a clean) home all by herself? Or having the kids at a sitter/friends/relatives one (all) night and treat her to a quiet dinner out or you fix a real nice meal at home and do all the work. Show her some individual attention. Just the two of you. At home or out. Make her feel like she did when you had no kids.

When is the last time you rubbed her feet or gave her a back rub? Even though my X and I had problems, I always knew that if I rubbed her feet and/or back and just let her talk and bitch about what ever was bugging her, she would lossen up and feel less stressed and more open to having sex. She would most of the time end up wanting sex.

I have found with relationships other than my X that many woman need to relax and unwind with no demands on their time for a while. I found that when you let them talk about what they want to while you just listen and give them a nice massage they will most of the time be the one to make an advance. It's subtle, it may just be her laying up against you and giving a sigh of contentment. She most likely just wants all your attention without interuption. You need to be the one that does all the work here.

Oh, don't talk about you. Don't talk about work, money, kids, or any problems. The idea is to have her forget all that. Just let her vent while you rub her feet or back. Also, if she is one that likes taking baths, go in light a candle turn off the light and sit next to the tub and scub her back and let her vent. Wash her hair and give her a nice scalp massage. Or just get into the tub and do it. Remember this is to be done after the kids are in bed and everything else is done.

 

Don't cheat on your wife. But, talk to your wife. Explain to her that you really miss being intimate with her. Then...next time you guys really have time to be together without distractions, explain to her in detail all the things about her that turn you on and all the things that you want to do to/with her.