Holiday Stress Relief​

The man walked in, slamming the door harder than he had meant to. This only managed to irritated him even more, and he brought his fingers up to comb through his snow white hair. Unbuttoning his heavy fur trimmed coat, he hung it on the peg next to the door, along with it's matching cap. The warmth from the glowing fire did nothing to thaw his frozen mood. He was having a bad day, and here in the privacy of his personal chamber was the only spot that he could show his frustrations.

"Oh fuck it! Maybe old Scrooge had it right! Bah Humbug I say!"

The woman put down her knitting, and stood up. "Now Kris, I know you don't mean that!" Walking across the room, she placed a kiss on the big man's bearded cheek, and led him by the hand to his favorite chair. "Sit down, and I will pull your boots off for you. Now tell me what is wrong, and let's see if we can't get you back to your jolly old self."

Sighing loudly as he rested his considerable frame down into the comfortable chair, he softened at her words.

"Goody, it is getting harder and harder every year." Though she had had many names throughout the years since they had met; Jessica, Mary, Anwyn, Martha, Layla, Maya; Goody is the name he had always liked best. Having so many names himself, it was nice to have that one person who called him by his given name. If the truth was told, it was sometimes hard for him to remember just what her real name had been all those years ago when she was a young, beautiful school teacher. To most, her title was simply Mrs.

"Tell me all about it." Having removed one of his patent leather boots, she trailed her hand up his red velvet pants and squeezed his thigh lovingly. "Then we can see about getting you relaxed."

"Where do I even start?" He exhaled. Gathering his thoughts, he began his list of troubles. "I don't know what to do about the elves. The poor tech elves are working triple shifts trying to keep up with the demand for all the gadgets these modern children want. It's all X-Boxes, PlayStations, and electronics nowadays.

"Meanwhile, some of the older elves more skilled in wood carving, and model train making are hardly doing a thing. There is grumbling from both sides, and I don't have a clue on how to fix it!"

He reached over and grabbed a cookie from the ever-present plate next to his chair and took a bite, then washed it down with a big swig of cold milk.

"Then there is that dammed Rudolf!" His blood pressure rose just thinking about that egotistical reindeer. "He has been harassing the others again, and is looking to get that bright red nose of his kicked in."

"I came in to find him with his tongue all over Dancer's salt lick. The stable elf says he has been stealing oats from Comet, and has even been seen sniffing around Prancer's mate. You know how much Dasher hates him after loosing lead position, and I am afraid it is just a matter of time before a fight breaks out.

"I will be forever grateful for what he did that foggy Christmas eve, but for god's sake, that was years ago! The damn sleigh has laser guidance, infrared, radar, G.P.S... Hell, it hardly even needs me anymore, let alone a primadonna with a glowing red nose that could be replaced by an L.E.D. light from Home Depot for $29.95. I have half a mind to tell him to knock it off or we will be grilling up reindeer steaks real soon."

This irreverent outburst towards a beloved holiday icon caused his wife to laugh loudly. Sitting on the floor in front of him, she rubbed his leg and quietly sat while he continued to vent.

"With all the cell phones, and tiny hidden surveillance cameras, it is getting harder and harder to keep myself from getting caught. It's not as if I am inconspicuous or anything, a large fat man sneaking around in a loud red suit isn't the easiest thing to hide. That little girl in Saskatchewan last year had me dead to rights. Lucky for me, a hunk of fudge and a trade for the iPhone 7, and I got out of there with the proof. One of these days I am going to get arrested and thrown in jail for some trumped up breaking and entering charge, or even worse, an accusation of pedophilia.

"Then there is this!" He took the infamous "List" from the table next to his chair. "What happened to naughty meaning you teased your little brother, or dipped the ponytail of the girl sitting in front of you in ink?" He shook his head, and pulled at his long beard. "Look at some of this! Grand theft, drugs, rape, even murder. What the hell is the world coming to? I sometimes wonder if I should close up the workshop and give it all up."

He hung his shaggy white head in despair and almost wept.

Goody turned onto her knees and looked up at the husband that she loved so much. She alone saw him in these moments in private when he could let himself relax and be real. Rather than think less of him for it, it made her love him even more. She knew the stress that his job caused, and was glad that she could be the one he turned to in his moments of need.

"Let me see if I can help." She smiled up at him, rubbing her hands up his thighs and massaging. "You are doing an amazing job. You will be turning 1,746 years old this year, and you still work harder than any man on earth. You not only keep up with the ever growing population, but manage to keep up with the trends and wants of every young child on the planet.

"The elves will be fine. All they ever want to do is work hard for you. Take the train makers and the animatronics experts and put one of your best tech elves on as a trainer. They already have experience at working with small moving parts. The electronics should be a small learning curve for them. The wood carvers, and doll makers can be assemblers. It will relive pressure from the tech elves, and those old timers are more than capable of putting part A with part B as long as the components are ready to go."

She raised up and placed a small kiss on his lips.

"Rudolph was always going to be a problem. After growing up bullied and excluded, he is getting what he sees as his revenge. Those others left him out of all The Reindeer Games, and he wants them to remember that."

She grinned wickedly as her plan took shape. "There is a young doe, I think her name is Clarise. I know you have seen her, cute little thing that prances around with a red polka dot bow in her hair. Trust a woman's view here, that girl is trouble with a capital T. Move Rudolph to a pen near her, but away from the others on the team. You can tell him it is an upgrade if you want. Once she catches his eye, he will have his hooves full, and will not be a trouble to the others."

She rolled her eyes as she thought of the iconic Father Christmas spending eternity in jail.

"The risk of detection is no greater now than it has been in centuries. You got lazy last year, and you know it." She playfully pinched his cheek, and pulled at his beard. "You know when they are sleeping, and you know when they're awake, you were just in a rush, and let yourself get caught. Fifty years ago it wouldn't have made a difference, but when everyone has a camera and instant access to social media, you have to be more careful.

"You know if the worst should happen, the extraction elves are trained and ready for any situation. You wouldn't spend half an hour in custody. That is if they were ever able to catch you in the first place."

She took the scrolled parchment from his hands, and unrolled it to the halfway mark. Running her finger down, she started to recite from the text.

"Susie Thomkins, from Seattle, Washington... gave her lunch away twenty seven times last year to students who were hungry and going without.

"Dalton Cole, from Tuscon, Arizona... stepped up and stopped his friends from bullying a smaller student.

"Cassie Martin, from Tulsa, Oklahoma... donated her long hair to Locks of Love.

"Kris... There may be a lot of bad in the world today, but this Nice list goes on and on. The good people of the world still exist, and they still need someone like you to look up to!"

He reached over and put on his half round glasses to look at The List again, seeing the extraordinary things that some of the young people in the world had done through the past year. His mood lightened as he read.

"Once again you have shown me why it is I do what I do. I guess you are right. I should probably get to checking this infernal list for the second time."

"Oh, I think that can wait for later." She said with a wicked smile. "I think that there is someone who wants to sit on your lap at the moment."

Standing up, she undid her apron and let it fall to the floor. Her red and green plaid dress followed it closely. She was proud of her body, and did not hesitate to show it off for her husband. To the world she might be a grandmotherly figure, but hours of swimming in the heated, underground pool, and chasing around hundreds of spunky elvish children, ( It seemed like the elves fucked more than rabbits around here!) had her toned and fit. Her breasts were still full and firm, and her legs were muscular and lean. She knew she looked good, and though her hair may be grey, for a woman of 1,134, she thought she could compete with any woman a fraction of her age.

Leaning in, she pulled his red suspenders down over his shoulders. She undid the the button at his waist and he raised himself enough for her to remove his pants. His erection was standing straight and proud, but as she straddled him, his doubt surfaced.

"You look so good, but I am so fat right now."

"Kris, you always put on a little extra this time of year. Besides," She said with a soft moan as she lowered herself onto his waiting pole. "I love the way your belly rubs my clit!"

She slid all the way down and rested on his lap, rocking from side to side. Slowly raising back up, she let herself fall back, feeling herself filled with the Christmas spirit. Up and down she rode him, kissing his lips as she felt him inside of her. Her hands wrapped around his head, pulling him in for a hard kiss.

Her pace accelerated until she was bouncing on his lap. A small giggle escaped as she thought about what wish she would be granted for this. Rolling her hips and grinding against him, she could feel his rotund belly rubbing her in all the right places. Her heartbeat sped as the friction between them grew.

The feeling of him rubbing her while simultaneously filling her, and moving in and out, soon had her moaning his name. Interestingly, she always used his different name when in the heat of passion.

"Oh Nick! Oh yes! Fuck me Nick!" she moaned loudly, not caring what any passing by elf might hear. As her passion roiled to a boil, her head leaned back and she screamed out loud. "Daidi' na Nollag!"1

Her body tensed and her hips moved wildly. Kris' hands grabbed her hips and ground his body into hers. She grabbed his face and kissed him hard. She continued to rock and move until she couldn't take any more.

With a last parting kiss, she moved to her knees between his legs. Taking him deep into her mouth, Goody licked and sucked his pole.

The jolly old elf started to pant, and his cheeks took on a ruddy glow. His belly shook like a bowl full of jelly as his orgasm aproached. With a a throaty gasp, and a loud expulsion of air, he let his climax loose.

"HO HO HO! Merry Christmas indeed!" He laid back in his chair and collapsed.

Mother Christmas sucked harder and took him as deep as she could. She swallowed every drop, and couldn't help but notice how he tasted of peppermint and chocolate with just a hint of chestnuts.

She gently rubbed his thighs, and teased his dick as he recovered from his expulsion.

"MMMM, feeling better now?"

Pulling her up and into his arms, the large man cradled her and cuddled her tight.

"When not a creature is stirring, and all the stockings hung up with care. When the children are sleeping, with hopes I'll be there. It will be you that I think of, not the children or elves. To the time you and I can just be by ourselves."

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!





1. Just a little declaration to my Irish heritage. Daidi' na Nollag is Irish for Father Christmas.

 

Thanks for bringing a smile to my face as I was reading this story. I really enjoyed this submission.

 

Sometimes during this season there are not enough hours in the day to do what you want to do. I have just retired and I have all the time in the world to read.I want to thank you again for posting this.

 

Bumping the entries and non-entries to make them more visible to the casual browser. Come on, people! Read!

 

An excellent story, well balanced and nothing extreme touching on so many points in a single scene. It was also well written and a very easy read. Thanks for your contribution, it was very enjoyable.

Hush....an alias

 

Oh.

My.

GAWD!

You dirty dog. I spit iced tea all over my screen when you mentioned the doe with the bow.

This was fun. A little bit of social commentary, some hot sex, a touch of intimacy and domesticity, and a good helping of comedy. As much as it's possible to portray two millennia old cultural icons as a sexy married couple, you did it. Nice job.

 

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Hush....an alias