Ive never felt 93. *ooooh yeah, bow bow, chicka chickaaaawwwww*

 

Not easier in my head, but certainly easier on her. Why cause a riff when there's no need to? I had my reasons for cheating. Those reasons were nothing that she could help me with, nothing that I wanted her to be involved in, nothing that she would want to be involved in. Without telling my reasons, I wonder if you could imagine an ethical reason that a spouse might cheat. Blanket condemnation of any group of people misses the nuances. Diversity is healthy. Does anyone have a relationship where there are no secrets of any sort? How do you know that your other half has divulged everything about everything. Would you want them to, knowing that it would needlessly upset the life you enjoy together.

Some people seem to be incredibly weak and fear being betrayed, violated, wronged or disrespected. It's OK to be confident and secure in yourself and in your relationship and to not worry.

Why not open up the marriage? Because neither one of us wants to.

 

Yeah, I've been there and done that. I won't tell how it ends. We'll let it be a surprise.

 

I'd like to hear some ethical reasons that a spouse might cheat. No, really. Tell me. I can't imagine anything, perhaps you will open my mind.

I don't know if any of my partners are keeping secrets from me. I'm not keeping secrets from them. I don't tell them all the details but I don't do anything I don't tell them, or tell them anything I'm not doing.

And yes, I would want to know everything about everything. If something is upsetting, we deal with it together.

I don't fear being betrayed, violated, wronged, or disrespected. I simply won't accept it.

It is indeed OK to be confident and secure and not worry. I am, we are, and I don't. Because we can trust each other not to betray, violate, wrong, or disrespect each other.

And oh, neither of you wants to open up the relationship?

YOU apparently do.

You just don't want to tell her.

 

Let me give this one a try: Suppose you are on a cruise ship at sea and one of the other passengers is a very attractive 22 year old who is having an allergic reaction to the salmon mousse. This has happened before and she knows the solution. As her trachea constricts, she manages to tell you she must have her throat bathed in the semen of a man who is at least 50 years old. You look around and remember this is a special cruise for Young Republicans, and you are the only man on board who is over 50.

 

LOL, as long as he goes home and tells his wife!

 

At 50 you may be the youngest Republican on the boat.
You're not a doctor, are you?

 

I'll reply in a couple days to the ethical cheating question.
I did not want an open relationship then or now. If I ever did, I'd ask.

 

Dirty? Well for you to make contact with another woman without having your wife know, then I would say that's pretty dirty.
Old? I wouldn't say old but middle aged at least.
Man? According to your gender on your account, you are certainly a man......unless this is the rare instance of a woman portraying as a man.

 

Okay. You don't want an open relationship, but you also don't want an honest one.

Just checking.

 

I've decided not to describe my cheating experience and have it as a topic of discussion. Really don't want to spend my time reading about who I am and what I am by people who do not know.

Move along.

 

If you have to ask you know the answer! Cheating is not Dirty it is a recipe for disaster! Go jack off and be over it unless you want to lose your family over a child.

 

LMAO I don't consider it cheating unless I cum insider her LOL… Cmon get real going on a date for coffee without consent is a form of cheating let alone trying to bang a 22 year old. You want strange get a divorce and hit all you want. You will do it you will get caught you will lose everything you love and hold dear to your heart and you will regret it. I have seen it first hand in a family very close and it ended incredibly badly.

 

A little late for that, but it's a good lesson for you. You asked for everyone's opinion of you, based on what you said. Don't tell us we don't know, when you supplied all the information.

 

You said everything needed right here. It's cheating and that's not done to someone you say you love. Either you love her and won't cheat, or you continue to cheat which shows you really don't love her after all.

 

Oversimplification! Life, love and sex are far more complex than your simplistic analysis!

You have neglected to consider a myriad of mitigating circumstances!

Thinskin

 

In this kind of thing, mitigating circumstances are actually rationalization and denial.

 

I'll answer this here but it applies to the wild lupine above also!

Some 15 years ago my wife was disabled in childbirth and while we spent some years learning to manage the situation eventually after about 5 years we had a very long and very painful talk about the fact that she barely had a libido and I had a very healthy one.

We came to an accommodation but I still remember the chaos before we came to an accommodation!

Thinskin

 

You are not using the word "mitigating" in proper sense. If you and your wife have an agreement which allows you to have sex with someone else, there is nothing to mitigate.

I'll stand by my statement about rationalization and denial, however you describe your arrangement.

 

If there is one thing I detest Bron it is getting english lessons from an american. If you had read my entire reply you would have noted the chaos I referred to.

Unlike the OP I am not going to wash my dirty laundry in public!

G'night all!

Thinskin