“When I was 14, I thought my parents were the dumbest people alive! When I turned 21 I was surprised how much they had learned in 7 years.”

“your never wrong to do the right thing”

both Mark Twain. The first one might not be verbatim. So don’t yell lol

 

"lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol"

Truthful 1.

 

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”– Douglas Adams

 

Those who live by the sword....

 

Life is 99.99998% living,... dont be the .00002%...I dono, something like that

 

"I can get a great look at a t-bone steak by shoving my head up a bull's ass but I'd rather take the butchers word for it."-- Chris Farley

 

I'm surprised we haven't heard this yet.....
"We will bury you"

 

-Chris Tucker

 

NY Yankee MLB HOF Catcher Yogi Berra.......................

1. When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

2. You can observe a lot by just watching.

3. It ain’t over till it’s over.

4. It’s like déjà vu all over again.

5. No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.

6. Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical.

7. A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.

8. Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.

9. We made too many wrong mistakes.

10. Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

11. You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.

12. You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you.

13. I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four

14. Never answer an anonymous letter.

15. Slump? I ain’t in no slump… I just ain’t hitting.

16. How can you think and hit at the same time?

17. The future ain’t what it used to be.

18. I tell the kids, somebody’s gotta win, somebody’s gotta lose. Just don’t fight about it. Just try to get better.

19. It gets late early out here.

20. If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s going to stop them.

21. We have deep depth.

22. Pair up in threes.

23. Why buy good luggage, you only use it when you travel.

24. You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.

25. All pitchers are liars or crybabies.

 

-Ice Cube

 

Today I didn't even have to use my AK

 

"Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" —Derek Zoolander

 

In the movie Reds. The Diane Keaton character confronts Eugene O’Neill who is horribly jaded and tells him that once communism is in place the world will be be basically a magical place. O’Neill played by Jack Nickolson responds “Oh yes communism. Whenever I hear about it I say watch out Gene, someone is trying to sell you on a new form of Irish Catholicism.” I love the skeptical tone in the face of idealism and euphoria.

 

I can levitate birds. No one cares.

 

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don’t want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.