This is a serious issue and has been on my mind for quite some time now.

My girlfriend has gained quite a bit of weight over the last year and a half and I’m finding myself less attracted to her.

Now before you go on and hammer away at me just know that, I do love her very much. I would not have been in this for so long if it were otherwise. I see great potential in this relationship; it’s just this one issue it keeps coming back to. Other than that she is perfect.

Right now she’s about 175-185lbs and she’s only 5’3” so not exactly healthy and her BMI puts her in the obese category. She is a very pretty girl and has a beautiful face. I’m also concerned because if she Is like this at 21 years of age, I think it could get worse as time goes along.

I know she wants to lose the weight, she has told me so but I am at my wits end. I have tried everything including getting a gym membership for her, tried working out with her; I even made a meal plan and a workout plan. I’m good at that kind of thing because I work out every day. I don’t know what else to do.

I’m a very sexual person and the feeling like I don’t have this great urge to have sex with her is starting to bother me and push me away from her. We have also been apart for a few months and she has gained another 10lbs or so. I just want someone to be healthy with me. I can’t take my partner slowly killing themselves. I have explained all this and tackled it from every angle to no avail.

I know they say you should love someone no matter what they look like but I can’t help the way I feel. In a way I feel like I am starting to lose my love for her. It hurts and I don’t know what to do.

 

well its spring time buy some bikes not only is it healthy its a great date, also try do it 3 times a week. not only will she be in shape but she will have a nice tans homes ;]

 

Yep she has a bike and areally nice one at that, tried everything to get her to ride. I told her she only needs half an hour 3 times a week and it will fly by but she doesnt enjoy it.

 

im sorry, but this is why girls stress out so much. we put on a few pounds and our boyfriends are less attracted to us...thats not fair. we look the other way when our boys put on a few extra and even still guys dont really care. but girls, it stresses us out worrying about our weight, which makes us want to eat comfort food...which then stresses us about the fact that we're gaining weight. its a horrible cycle. if you love her, and she's beautiful, let her know that. confidence is the best thing to give someone trying to start a diet. and do it with her. especially if you live with her, only buy good food so there's no other choices....whatever you do, do NOT let her know that you're less attracted to her, it would crush her.

 

Yeah i tell her shes beautiful all the time.

She gained more than a bit of weight. She was 155lbs when i first met her and she went up to 203lbs at one point. I gave her a few pointers and she went down to 185lbs so its not a bit of wieght its alot of weight. She like a size 14 now and its kind of tight , she was a size 10 when i met her and that was perfect for me.

I dont live with her, she lives with her parents.

 

Is she eating right? She needs to have a proper diet/meal.

 

Well she lives with her parents so she doesnt have complete control. I gave her a few simple rules to follow about carbs/Protein etc and sometimes she sticks by them other times not so much. I have tried everything.

 

I don't think you are a pig I think you are a good man for wanting your girl to lose weight. It's not an aesthetic issue, it's a health issue, and quite serious at that. She has a BMI of 32.9 which makes her seriously obese. If she doesn't do something about losing the weight she will find herself battling serious health issues. She doesn't need to just change her eating habits and exercise, she needs to go to a dietician, and fast. If she doesn't realise the seriousness of the situation you could be digging her a very early grave, and I'm not exaggerating. Good luck, and please let me know how you 2 get on :rose:xx

 

Do you take steroids? You look pretty yoked out in that pic. If that really is you.

 

Yes that is me in my Avatar, and thanks for the compliment , i have been powerlifting for about 9 years. Im 266lbs and 16% bf approx. I train about 5 times a week and my nutrition is awsome.

Lovin'it , thanks for your concern, yes im not really approaching the issue from a sexual/visual standpoint. I mean maybe i am a bit but im not attracted to someone who is too ripped. Like i said in a previous post im attracted to about a size 8-10. for someone who is 5'3" i think thats a healthy size and not too skinny.

I agree with you on the health aspect, thats what bothers me the most. I mean, how can you not want to be healthy? i just dont get it, it doesnt make sence to me. How can i sit there and watch my partner basically kill themselves?? I think the only reason her body is able to fight it off is because of her age but it will catch up to her. Ive tried explaining all this and it doesnt do any good.

 

Hey , i just checked your thread out and im not hitting on you or anything like that but, your body size is kind of what i think is a good representation of healthy, not rail thin, just right you know what i mean. You seem to value your health and that is a great quality.

Just remembered i have more pics of me on this page. here is the link. https://forum.xnxx.com/showthread.php?t=35334&page=2

 

This may sound crazy, but maybe it's time she stopped living with her parents, no matter how nice they may be. I don't know how old she is, but independence can lead to self confidence, and self reliance and self caring/self loving. Probably a good idea that she live on her own or with roomate/s for a while rather than live with you until she experiences her ability to take care of herself, rather than you substitute for parental care. When she feels good and safe with herself, then living with you could work out really well. She's not going to lose the weight until she feels good about herself, and parents can keep there kids dependent in subtle ways without realizing it. If their daughter isn't attractive to men then she will stay with them forever. If she gets sick then she will need them to take care of her, and the dependence cycle goes on and on.
But of course i could be wrong, but give it some thought.

 

Look, if you can't get past this, you can't get past it. I think it's rather narrow-minded of you, to be honest, but if it's how you feel, you owe it to her to let her find someone who accepts her as she is. One of the things almost sure to kill relationships is the desire to change your partner to suit you. It seldom works, and it ALWAYS creates resentment.

 

I really don't see a problem with it if you decide to end the relationship. I know that's extremely un-PC to say but both partners have to be satisfied with each other for it to work.

DLS, It's unfair to ask peaches to stay in the relationship when he isn't happy. It was not his doing that caused her to let herself go and it sounds like something he is not comfortable with.

Her massive weight gain sounds like it could be psychological in nature and chances are it's not anything you can do, peaches. But if she's not willing to understand your position and not willing take the steps necessary to improve her health, both mentally and physically, then you do not bear responsibility for it and you can end it guilt-free.

-S-

 

Yes thanks, i dont mind someone gaining a few pounds, sometimes i find it a turn on but to go from 155lbs up to 200lbs when your only a bit over 5 feet tall is alot of weight to gain.

Im not saying im not attracted to her because i am. I do get turned on easily when she is around because she is a great person with an awsome mentality but i guess im just not as attracted to her physically as when i first started dating her.

Her BMI is really high now and its a concern, high BP and diabetes runs in her family so if she keeps going the way she is she will get it at a young age.

 

Thanks a lot I do really value my health, although I haven't always! I am no saint. I used to get drunk every day, take drugs on the weekends, smoke a pack a day and live on takeaways. Until I realised what I was doing to myself!
I agree with oldie goody, she probably isn't going to lose the weight until she feels good about herself. But sometimes that is hard to achieve. And thats something that has to come from inside her.

 

the only reason that i am so concerned about this, is because im 5'4'' and dont weight much less than she is. i do not, at all, consider myself obese (im sure some of the assholes out there would beg to differ). but i do see the concern for the big jump in her weight. she's probably stressed out, and i can tell you from personal experience, dieting does is nowhere near relaxing. the best thing you can do for your girlfriend is be a good boyfriend. take care of her and make sure she's happy. like oldie goody and lovin' it said, she needs to feel good about herself before she can take care of herself.

 

He's only responsible for a part of that, the rest has to come from her. If she's not interested in helping herself, he can do nothing. All of his assurances and compliments will fall on deaf ears. He can only offer a hand, if she doesn't take it then it's her fault, not his.

-S-

 

im not puttin it on him at all...he's takin it on himself. hes the one that wants her to change, it wasn't her idea.

 

It sounds like its genetic for her.Just wait untill you two have kids, shell probably balloon outward.Dont worry about her weight untill shes 250lbs.At least she has beauty on her side.cant fix ugly.If it afects your ability getting a hard on, get some viagra.But dont be shallow about this.women are real sensitive about there weight.