Not sure if this is the right place for this topic but...

Girls would you rather be involved with a bad boy type that treats you like shit but looks pretty hot, or with a nicer guy that you know would have plenty of respect for you but has a few spare around the middle. I ask cause i have found myself in this position several times in the last few years and i just cant figure out why some women would go through so much shit with guys i consider losers, come to me to complain about these guys. The conversations always end the same way, "oh your so nice i wish i could meet a guy that listens like you do", etc. Then olny to go back with the same kinsa guys. Any info or ideas you would care to pass on about this would be appreciated.

 

I really don't know why this happens, but it certainly seems to be the case.
So much so that I'm seriously considering being the 'Bad Boy' if I ever have another relationship.

I think that I've been the nice guy all my life, and I have to say that I'm getting a little bit pissed off with being treated like shit.

I don't deserve it, and I don't enjoy it!!! :x

 

personality for sure. If he treats me like shit I'm not staying in that relationship. Besides, what difference does it make if he is a little bigger?

 

I've been in that situation too.... I've always had a thing for bad boys... and often had the male friend that was a nice guy who listened, etc. at the time, the friend was actually going out with a close friend of mine.

Why girls go for the bad asses?? maybe adventure or there's just something.....
it's a bit like asking why men have a taste for blondes/brunettes/big tits/ass/bimbos. It would be the same answer.

 

The thing is, a man who prefers blondes, etc. will almost always admit it. A girl who prefers bastards typically won't.

OK, maybe that's too harsh, but it's a very common experience.

 

I've known a few women that had hot locking guys that really treazted them like shit, cheated on them, beat on them, showed no respect in public. Then after the
woman has them arrested for battery, they drop the charges and go back to them, not once but every time.d I know thats been going on for 10years. Psychologists have noted this behavior and have a name for it. Beats the hell out of me though.

 

I used to be like that. I grew up though and would always choose the nice guy over the "bad boy" now.

I think it's as simple as wanting what you can't have. A woman wants the hot "bad" guy and thinks she can change him. The nice guy is available, so she's not interested. There's no challenge.

 

Females can be just as shallow as males ... for some, it's ONLY about the physical appearance.

Something about a bad boy is sexy. Maybe it's the rebellious nature or the way he doesn't seem to care whether you exist. It's been ages since I dated the hot, bad guy so I really can't remember ... but if Dave Navarro or Tommy Lee knocked on my door, I wouldn't say no.

PS ... There are all kinds of hot. A hot mind. A hot imagination. A hot sense of humor. I prefer those.

 

I love you, Piggit.

 

Right back atcha, ZYZX!

 

So you've been rejected and you're bitter. Nothing wrong with that, most guys have been in that position. The reasoning is that some girls are attracted to the alpha-male. It's basic dog psychology. The other part of that is codependancy. They find a guy who would be so great if they would just change and if they love them enough, forgive them enough, give them enough time, it will all work out.

Another thing I've noticed is that these nice guys, chubby or not, are usually shy and don't make a move. I know because I was one of them and I've known others like them. They're like the nerdy kid in the John Hughes movies who is in love with our damsel, but never once in the 15 years they've known one another has he ever had the sack to say something. Then looks all shocked and hurt when she goes for the wrong guy or the wrong-right guy and we have our dramatic ending.

And they complain about it because you let them. You become their girlfriend and that excludes you from any action ever. It's okay to not be so available. You don't have to listen everytime they have something to cry about. It's okay to say "look, I like you and all, I want to help, but this is getting old. Grow up and when you're really ready for something or someone better, give me a call." They'll either respect your decision not to be a wailing wall and perhaps see you differently, or move on to someone else they can complain to constantly. Either way you come out ahead.

-S-

 

I think the fact that I'm basicaaly a good guy who misbehaves from time to time keeps my girlfriend more interested. She knows that I'm kinda unpredictable, but I'm basically a good guy at heart. I'm no prude, and I think she appreciates that.

 

a nicer guy that you know would have plenty of respect for you but has a few spare around the middle.

Personallity can determin if a guy is hot or not to me.

 

Iv sometimes blamed these occurances on both immaturity of the woman invloved and my own lack of forwardness in dealing with these women im interested in, but more recently iv been dating women that were older and seem to be plenty mature, and i have also tried making moves that most definately made it obvious i was interested. Still the same result, and as for being bitter about, i apologise if it came off that way but im not bitter, i do have a lot of great female friends in my life that i would not trade for the world, its just that myself personally would not be with a person, no matter how hot they were, if they mistreated me, and im trying to figure out why some people do, so that maybe i can make myself somehwow more available to these girls.

I believe another problem i have si that i am very chosy about how i date seriously. I'll have a casual fling with almost anyone within reason, but if i gonna spend time with a person in a relationship i want it to be someone right for me, otherwise id rather be alone. IV had several arguments with my sister because she alway accused me of going after the "HOTTIES", which is partly true, she tried to hook me up on a blind date with a friend of her friend, how althought when i met her was a very nice person, the fact that she was almost twice my size, literally, was a big turnoff for me. Now in my defence, i dont expect a drop dead gorgeous women to fall into my lap, but she has ot be someone i find attractive and i dont usually find women that are heavier then me to be attractive. I do like women with soem shape to then not just skin and bones, but not a waomn who is shorter then me and still outweighs me. I dont expect perfection, just attractiveness, and the ability to carry on a decent conversation, is tha too much to ask???

 

There are a few reasons I can think of that a person gets into or stays in an abusive relationship.

1. Lack of self esteem. This is a KILLER for so many people. They think they don't deserve better treatment.

2. Abusive example. They are the victim of an abusive parent, so that the sense of what love is becomes skewed. Mom and dad fought bitterly or he hit her; but they loved each other. Therefore, love means being treated badly.

 

We are such a convoluted and devious species when it comes to relationships. Probably the hardest thing to really get a handle on in this life. I find myself constantly amazed at what I see and hear, and much of the time, just cannot understand the reason; there is usually no rationality, its like we turn it off in relationships many times.

Just an example (hope Im not boring you: XX the sexless friend told me 2 nights ago during a 4hr phone conversation: I could listen to you talk forever. Spent yesterday evening and crashed all nited (alone) at my gf's house. Called XX when I got home and she was short and cold, said she had a dated (that would be a first). I really suspect jealousy due to her repeated types of behaviour. GF is knowing that within a short time she will lose both legs, when Im there I try to do her walking for her to get things. Im happy to be able to do it. Since she's been in her motorchair she has really gained weight, yet she's anemic. More under worst kiss-off.

I try to be very straightforward and honest in my
relationships.

 

YEah i try to always be completely honest in my relaionships, whether they be just friends or possibly more, i always say what i mean, deal with my people in a straght forward manner nadi never lie, EVER. I find that a lot of women i know are the opposite, they say things they think you want to hear and expect you to realize that they really mean something completely different. Case in point, i was recently involved with a girl for several who was a close friend when we decicded to start sleeping with each other, lots of people kept asking is he your BF, or similar questions and the answer was alway, no we're just friends. Several months ago she decided to go back to her loser ex, who subsiquently mistreated her. She and i had a major arguemnt over that as i had been interested in taking our friendship further at that time. She threw it back in my face that if i had asked earlier we could have been together becasue she had wanted to get serious several months ago. but like i said everythime me or someone else asked about it, she always said we were friends and was very happy with our friendship, and im not one to disturb a good thing when i have it. SHe has since broken up with the loser and has asked me to give her a second chance, which a lot of my friends and family tellsme id would be a fool to do. Im still considering it...

 

wow i had almost the exact same thing happen to me and after i asked her to take it to the next level she said no and we had a falling out a bit but we ended up back together recently only to break up again because she was too busy and wouldn't make any time to be together, which made little sense to me because we go to the same school and it shouldn't be hard to get together every once and a while. but apparently it was my fault cuz i never pushed her, even though i would ask her constantly to hang out. now we've gone back to just being friends, the problem is i still like and don't really know what to do, but i'm also moving on cuz im in college and i don't wanna miss out on anything

 

wow i had almost the exact same thing happen to me and after i asked her to take it to the next level she said no and we had a falling out a bit but we ended up back together recently only to break up again because she was too busy and wouldn't make any time to be together, which made little sense to me because we go to the same school and it shouldn't be hard to get together every once and a while. but apparently it was my fault cuz i never pushed her, even though i would ask her constantly to hang out. now we've gone back to just being friends, the problem is i still like and don't really know what to do, but i'm also moving on cuz im in college and i don't wanna miss out on anything

 

Yes, it does sometimes seem that women expect us to be telepathic!
This may be because they are so much better than us blokes at picking up on things that say more than words.....facial expressions, voice tones, body language etc. and assume that we are the same. This is why they often think that we are emotionally dumb and treat us accordingly!

It is possible that the fact that you were having sex with the girl in question didn't define your relationship to her as bf/gf. So, when her friends asked her, she said 'no'!

Maybe she didn't want to admit that you were 'Shag-buddies' or maybe she didn't want to put you on the spot by saying 'yes' and then being wrong.

I'd give her another chance, and if she messes with you again - blow her out!
At least then you'll know for sure.