[SIZE=+3]I thought it would be fair since we got to hear the men's side. So I went and looked this up online.

A WOMAN'S 50 RULES FOR MEN[/SIZE]
1. Call.
2. Don't lie.
3. Never tape any of her body parts together.
4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.
5. If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting.
6. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."
7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"
8. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad.
9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.
10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
11. "Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag", "Lardass",and "Bitch" are bad.
12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.
13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed.
15. Her cooking is excellent.
16. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
17. Dish soap is your friend.
18. Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean.
19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.
20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation.
21. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?"
22. Two words: clean socks.
23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when ?
24. Burping is not sexy.
25. You're wrong.
26. You're sorry.
27. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is.
28. Ditto for your discourse on football.
29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound.
30. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad.
31. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.
32. Don't assume PMS doesn't exist.
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
34. "But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush, and you don't clean plaque with your tongue.
35. Never let her walk anywhere alone after 11pm.
36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.
37. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it.
38. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you.
39. Don't tell her you love her if you don't.
40. Tell her you love her if you do. Often.
41. Always, always suck up to her brother.
42. Think boxers.
43. Silk boxers.
44. Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she so-names.
45. Don't try to change the way she dresses.
46. Her haircut is never bad.
47. Don't let your friends pick on her.
48. Call.
49. Don't lie.
50. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor while you sit in the waiting room on your ass smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything.

 

I would add:

If I have to explain it you probably wouldn't understand.

Never say out loud if it has tits or wheels sooner or later it will give you trouble.

Love women as the wonderful gift they are.

 

Y'all wanna fuck?

 

Never, ever remind a Woman that most things in Nature that bleed that much,that often have the decency to die! ( OOWW BBAAD!!)

 

Nice additions to the list.

Usually, but with whom is the question.

Now that would be a major mistake! Especially if her "friend is visiting". lol

 

In mens' basketball, they have four quarters to a game. In womens' basketball, they have four periods.

)

 

Never ever say you have a really great ass on a public forum even if you do. I mean even if she does.

 

That could be dangerous. You could get molested for saying things like that!:excited:

 

You can't scare me with warnings like that. I double dog dare you.

Besides as long as I've got a face, you're got a place to sit.

 

Hey Mr. Stumbler, can I have a seat? hehehe

 

Better be careful, I just might take you up on that oh so tempting offer. I do so need a face... I mean a place to sit.

 

wow, that makes guys look reallllly bad

and if I ever have to sit and listen to her talk about clothes, or shoes, or any of that, she is going to listen to me explain the Wildcat formation, the Picket Fence(don't get caught watching the paint dry!), the balk, and Icing.

Oh right... and...

*mumbles* you're right
I'm sorry

 

Probably, but you'll have to post a picture of your ass first or just send it to me.

Alright but make it quick because I've only got all day and all night, well and maybe some of tomorrow.

 

Yes, dear < standard answer for married men, use liberally, even if it does not apply or computer.


Great list, a bit long for a man's attention span but yes I know it well.

 

24. Burping is not sexy.

that explains a lot of things

 

ONG ... care to share? We could just devour Stumblers other 'face' together :excited: and enjoy each others tongue dancing upon his 'face'

 

wait. so are you saying you didn't like me describing in detail the many different jean styles, the difference between lycra and spandex, who "Coach" is, why you shouldn't shop at certain stores, how horrifying polyester is???? damnit!


:mrgreen:


oh back to the thread... what if we like to be slapped? choked, spanked, get real nasty. it's turning me on thinking about it....

 

oh I just love clothes so much... screw the Eagles game, I'm going shopping!


and then I think you should sign a waiver, so anything we do in that department can't be held against us

 

Excellent list! But I have an amendment to make

13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.

Should have added "except during sex or a fabulous blowjob, in which case it is perfectly acceptable."