I have this problem.

I go out to clubs, with friends and all that dance...

(I don't like to talk about myself and I hate when people self-praise and talk about themselves as if they were the best)

but I guess I'm not that bad looking, have had a couple of girlfriends...
And when I go out to party with friends, I can see if a girl is looking at me and if she finds me attractive. I find her very attractive, too, but I just don't have the balls to go and talk to her.

This has happened to me more than once.

Great example, New years day. We were at a official party, and people were dancing, me too, with my friends. So I look around and see this cute girl, glimpsing at me a couple of times. I say to myself, 'wow she's cute', but I don't have the courage to go over and dance with her.

(To confirm that I wasn't dreaming, that the girl looked at me) then, when I'm back home with my friends, the girls say, 'why didn't you go dance and talk to her? she looked at you so often, she even came closer and you didn't do anything'. Then I say, what do you want me to do, she was with her friends, I can't just go over and dance with her and leave all her (lady) friends.

I just need some advice to come closer. I'm too scared, or something is holding me back for whatever reason, and it's not like I have never kissed or slept with girls.

I know this doens't have anything to do with sex or something like that, which everybody is used to in the forum, but maybe you could give me some advice and your help.

Thanks (you can write me a private message if you don't want to post. If possible I'd like to get to know some point of view from the ladies, because they know how they want to a guy to get to know her.)

 

I got this problem too... Just grab the balls and tell yourself: For every minute I wont go over and talk to that girl, I'll squeeze these balls hecka lot harder!

That'll give you courage in no time! :excited:

But seriously, I have this issue too. Just do it, don't think... The only time where you should't think about it, the more you think about it the more nervous you get.

 

The worst thing she can do is say no. Thats my philosophy on life. It's also the reason I got in so much trouble as a kid (The worst thing my parents can do is hit me)

 

I think it was Wayne Gretzky who said "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." You just need to boost your confidence levels. Once you got that done, talking to girls shouldn't be a problem.

 

Psychology 101: Start a conversation with asking her about herself, you don't have to interrogate her, but ask simple questions. If it's a dance, ask her, "Do you like this kind of music?" If you do it right her answers will often lead to more questions and a full conversation.

 

Do you think that works if she's dancing and I'm trying to get closer and ask:

Do you like ... or any other question!

It's not intended as in an evil way, just asking if you think this really works while she's dancing, with the friends, while there's music going on.

I get your point with the 101 I guess, just play it simple.

Thanks

 

my method>everyone elses

ESPECIALLY when she's with friends. Just be straight up

 

Look, maybe I don't understand the situation, but the best way to start a conversation is ask her a question that unless she's a rude bitch she will reply back to.
If you came up to me and said, "Wow, I think your hott." I don't have to reply back to that.
If you came up and said "Do you like this music?" I would have to reply back.

Look don't listen to me, it's not like I ever get any girls, or anything.

 

You're such a virgin, your cherry hasn't evolved from the flower yet, hell your tree's still a sapling! XP

 

See, I knew if I keep telling people I was still a virgin someone would believe me.

 

It is easy to over amp on anxiety. Next time make sure you get a few drinks in you before you start girl scouting. There is an old joke:

How do you get a girl to talk for four hours?
Ask her two questions.

 

Okay I got it, thanks for the help.

 

-yes Em, this works. Keep the conversation about her. Aim for friendship first until you build self confidence, later hint about going further. Her body language is key. She'll tend to lean in more if shes even remotely interested.

 

Im sure you'd know better b'cuz youre a woman. Women know what women want to hear. I'd take a womans advice most of the time over a guys anytime. And that says a lot coming from a dude

 

Me, too, that's why I hoped more girls would answer.