If anyone can help a 39 year old drunk stop drinking, I'm listening. I love my son, but he thinks smoking is my problem. It's not, I took him to a Royal's game last night, and when we got home, he went to sleep, and I drank a fifth of vodka. At 5 am, I realized he was going to be up soon, so I stopped drinking.

I'm Scotch-Irish. Most of my American friends think thats an excuse. Bullshit. My heritage makes me strong, not drunk. My dad didn't drink, my mom still doesn't, my sister never did before she died.

I am a drunk. Plain and simple. Been through a 30, a 60, and a 120 day rehab.

I don't want to drink, but I do. I want someone that was able to quit tell me how. I did all of the therapy stuff, and I was hypnotized, I need to know how to quit when you don't want to drink, but can't stop.

 

If you want to stop drinking, you've got to not hitch your horse in front of a saloon anymore. Find a non alcholic place to hang out. For example. don't go anywhere near a liquor store to buy it anymore. You've got to distance yourself from the temptation and deliberately plan to avoid it. You should also keep on hand other non-alcoholic liquids you plan to drink in lieu of the alcohol.

You could also try aversion therapy where something negative is associated with you drinking.

 

It comes done to making a decision. If you can't control the urge then don't put yourself in a situation where you are going to drink. Don't go buy it. Learning self control can take a long time, and isn't easy, but that's what it boils down to.
Take it in stages, set goals for yourself.

 

One day at a time. Don't berate or belittle yourself if you slip. Just pick your resolve back up the next day and move forward.

 

Lioness,

Thank you. I have removed myself from areas that encourage drinking. At Kauffman Stadium I did not buy one $7.50 beer while with my son, but the thought was there the entire time. I got home, by myself, with him sleeping, and then I drank. He isn't here tonight, and I am hammered. I finished the fifth from last night, and the one I got tonight. I need to remove myself from myself, and I can't do that, I don't know how.

I need a survivor. Because I'm lucky to still be alive.

 

Mate the best thing is so far is that you have admitted you have a problem
My father was a alcoholic and would not admit till the day he died
Ended up in a nursing home with short term memory loss but still wanted to go and get a drink
If you know you have a problem then you are half way there. Keep trying to get help. Your local doctor? AA? Anybody.

 

Needing to "remove yourself from yourself" is the catch, isn't it? I don't think there is a human being alive who doesn't have at least one bad habit in which they would like to rid themselves. Our stubborn selfish wills want what we want when we want it!

You need alternative actions to replace the ones you are already doing. Seriously, instead of pouring all the alcohol down your throat, pour yourself ONE glass and then immediately pour the rest down the drain instead and don't go out to purchase another one immediately. OR...buy the little airplane size bottles of alcohol instead of binging on the larger ones. ??

 

Make that your starting point, Your son, and how he will feel if or should i say when the booze finally kills you.

You had the willpower to stop drinking knowing your son was soon getting up, so keep that in your thoughts...My son.

I think you also need professional help from a pshycologist or similar to help you look back in your past to find out why you use booze as a crutch.

And remember this... "monkey see, monkey do", do you want your son to follow in your footsteps

 

Those are sobering thoughts...

 

Thank you, all of you. I am so afraid of taking this to my "real" friends, but at the same time, I suspect they already know. I have never done anything to bring harm to my son, but if I continue on my present course, what else can I bring to him?

I don't know if I will drink tomorrow, I never plan on drinking tomorrow, but I never planned on drinking today. Life is pretty fucking scary, but the alternative is worse.

 

Dying of a pickled liver is a hard way to go...it's a slow suicide.

 

I struggled with alcohol for years, it totally kicked my ass. I now have over 10 years of sobriety and trust me, if you had told me that 10 years ago, I would have called you a liar. That seemed like an impossibility.
My son has never seen me drink and I will do everything within my power to make sure he never does.
I can only speak about my own experience, but AA worked for me. Having a group of peers that are not only trying to achieve the same thing but are succeeding at it is invaluable. You will find support and a new way of thinking.
It is hard work and it will be very difficult, but it will also be the greatest thing you will ever do.
Good luck and if you ever want to talk about it some more, do not hesitate to send me a message.

 

amen'
that works for a lot of people. going to aa, because it keeps your mind off the drink and you make friends who don't drink. also get a couple of hobbies going to even keep your mind off of it more.

 

I agree with you (except about the dick avatars...I love them!!!)

 

think of ur son he needs a dad when ur drunk thats not u. iwas a single dad for a few years and it made me re think a lot of things ive done.even though i m married now that thought of what will my boy do without me still goes in my head. hes 14 now i want to be around for a while. just think about it.

 

I assume you've tried Alciholics Anonymous!

If you haven't do so. If you have and left, go back. Count on your buddy. I am not and never have been an alcoholic, but I have known a lot of them. Some were were weekend boozers, some never drew a sober breath. Some went to AA and dropped out. Some were kept in by their buddies. Do you have religious objections to AA; don't. Even atheists can be in AA, but you have to commit yourself to some higher power, if not God, then let it be paternal love, or something else. You are the only one who can help you.

 

what was the reason that you started drinking?

 

I was where you're at. I tried a thousand times to quit unsucessfully. However, once I made my mind up to quit, I actually did it fairly easy. I haven't had a drink in over 20 years.
I do smoke weed later in the evening and that helps to relax, get to a mellow place and not worry about doing crazy shit.

Others will flame this but I recommend having a joint to unwind.
Hopefully, you live in Ca where it is available to just about anybody legally. ( Medical Marijuana)

Good luck.

 

My dad used to be an alcoholic

 

Fuck all this....anyone fancy a beer?

Seriously though....it's up to you.

All the help in the world won't help you unless you want to stop.

And self pity in an alcoholic is not very pretty.