I don't want to complain, but I get sick of other chicks who constantly brag about getting the infamous "o" with their partner.

I can't!

I've had 13 partners, and NONE of them have ever made me orgasm. Never, ever, ever, ever. I've had sex ranging from two pump wonders to 3 hour long sessions...and never get off.

I used to fake orgasms to please my partners, but now I just tell people upfront to not be disappointed if I don't get off and no faking.

I can masturbate and get myself off and have done so with a partner "assisting," but damnit, I want someone to get me off!

Any advice?

 

I could send you to someone on here but I am "way" to selfish with that. Tape yourself masturbating with and without an assistant and try to figure out if it is the angle, depth, shape of the toy or maybe something completely different. I have to get to know someone and trust them before I can have the big O. Good luck.

 

How relaxed are you/how much foreplay do you do? Trying to pressure yourself into an orgasm will probably work against you in the long run.
How well do you know the partner? I'm a guy, and I can't get off on a one night stand. I can get the equipment up and working & have a good time, but can't cum.
I agree with precious; might want to spend some time figuring out what makes you orgasm (g-spot, clitorally, or just vaginal penetration in general) and work with your partner on it.

 

When I masturbate, it's clitoral stimulation...No toys, no fingering, none of that. I've tried vibrators and other sex toys...they don't do anything for me.

I don't have one night stands or anything of that nature. I dated and was engaged to a man I was with for 3 years and lived with...he never got me off. I have been with different races, a wide variety of penis sizes, none of it. Vaginal stimulation feels great during sex, but I don't orgasm.

Generally there is a hefty amount of foreplay, but in the past with limited foreplay, there hasnt been a difference.

I've done a great variety of different positions, angles, used toys, and everything else and nothing gets me off with a partner.

And as far as loving or trusting the person I'm in bed with, I've been there and I've also been with friends and people that were just "fuck buddies." No difference....

 

maybe i´m wrong ... but ... when sometimes i ear about a woman not getting orgasms ...

one thing i always try to do is try to figure out the effect of the things i do are having in a woman ! after being a few times with her she gets more and more orgasms !

why ? because i pay attention to what she enjoys ! and i learn !

of course not every woman is the same ...

do U feel your partners pay attention to what U really enjoy broken ?

 

Huh, maybe it's a communication thing? Is there something in particular you like having done to your clit? I know a few women I've been with like pressure, while others prefer just rubbing.

I think I have a penthouse article on female orgasm floating around my apartment somewhere, I'll copy it here for ya if I find it. If all else fails, seeing a sex therapist might be worth it too.

 

maybe i wrong ... again, but i don´t think it´s just a clitoris or a fuck me hard thing or whatever.

the woman´s G-spot is not the clitoris. it´s her brain. it´s all over her body !

i think men are different, we are more easy to stimulate ... sometimes with the girls we need to have that little extra "work" that sometimes some guys just don´t bother to have !

i´m i rigth girls ? or should i just shut up ?

 

Oh, no, I agree, Bar. I wasn't quite sure what you were getting at in the previous post.
3 years without an orgasm during sex is kind of a long time, I should hope the guy picked up something during that time, but it doesn't look like it. That's why I'm wondering about communication. Is there a lot of pillowtalk, Brokenglass?

 

two suggestions...try some form of kinky sex...
or just try with woman partner...

 

or maybe a warm shower ... then a massage with a nice smelling cream all over ... followed by a romantic dinner at home on the floor by the fireplace with nothing on but a dry towell ...

 

Wear a hat.

 

The only way I can get off during sex is if I'm rubbing my clit, just like i do when I masturbate.

 

Everyone above is right. It seems that you're putting too much pressure on yourself, and not learning enough about what makes you tick. Try things. Try sex with a woman. Try masturbating in front of your man, while he strokes his cock and watches you.

And there's no shame in making yourself cum during sex. My husband loves it when I rub my clit during sex, especially if we're in a position where he can see it.

And don't underestimate the sexual power of the brain. Do role-plays. Talk dirty. Tease yourself. Tease him.

 

three basic orgasms

my girl has three types of orgasms

i) Clitoral, she can do this herself or I can do it orally. She admits it's a stress reliever. She likes a slow build up to it, so I mostly ignore the clit except for the occasional tease, but the orgasm is very quick and the intensity can vary, like a spike on a chart recorder! After this orgasm she will soon be asleep but she is very tight so it is usually followed by a quick shag where she will talk about bending over in a short skirt and pink panties which usually works for me. Soon enough we are both snoring.

ii) Vaginal, she can get this from a dildo although she has to be quite desperate to work that hard. She says my big head (I'm a roundhead) helps alot. This is proper sex, thrusting, it can be fast or slow but I always slow down when she is close. She decribes this as a pulsing orgasm and she likes it alot. This orgasm stimulates her mood and energizes her.

iii) Anal, has to be prepared but it is the only one that I feel as well.

All this being said, this is my girl and women are like choatic systems, all unique

It strikes me broken that if you are not sure how to make yourself orgasm then you are asking the man to read a mind that you have not sorted out yet. Us men do better when there is an accompanying instruction manual.

Thinskin

 

When you masturbate, do you fantasize?
If so what are you thinking about?

Everyone likes different things, and as some posters have mentioned, maybe you just haven't tried the things that would really turn you on.
One suggestion they made was that maybe you just aren't into guys...
but I'm guessing you would know that - it seems to me that it would
be obvious if you felt attracted to women.

Realizing that you only reach orgasm from clitoral masturbation, have none
of your partners given you oral sex? I mean, if you can come from your own fingers rubbing your clit, its hard for me to imagine that a sensitive partner couldn't get you there by licking and sucking on your clitoris. Believe me, someone who's talented in that department can do a lot more
for you down there with their mouth than you could with a hand!

But I think you should also consider, as others have said, that every woman is different, and I'm sorry to say, some ladies just are never able
to reach orgasm from intercourse, no matter how good it might feel.

You said you've been with 13 guys, but its easy to find 13 guys who couldn't fuck their way out of a wet paper bag (its about more than duration!) Have you ever had your g-spot stimulated?

And last question...I almost hate to ask this...but I know that alot of factors can go into issues like this. I had a girlfriend for awhile who was not able to come except under some extreme conditions that I couldn't bring myself to engage in. So remembering her, and her history, I have to ask how your self-image is. Would you say your self-esteem is strong?
Were you ever a victim of abuse? I'm not asking you to answer me (because its really none of my business) so much as I'm suggesting you just consider how such things can interfere with our ability to relax and enjoy pleasure. If you think these might be part of the picture, then I would recommend talking to a therapist about it, it can do wonders.

Best of luck to you.

 

Hmm... this feels familiar to my own situation. When my now-fiance and i began dating a few years ago, we were one another's firsts. I was extremely uneducated about my body and what felt good. After a while, we became concerned because nothing seemed to make me orgasm. Sex felt good, but i never came.

I had to relax. I started worrying about it so much that I couldn't appreciate the fact that the sex felt good, even if it wasn't making me cum.

Next, because you always masturbate the same way (to a clitoral orgasm) it may be the case that your orgasms are keyed to that particular stimulation. You may wish to stop masturbating that way, and trying a variety of different types of stimulation. (I know there's more to this, having heard it in a piece from a sex therapist, but I don't remember the rest of it. Ask an expert.)

Funiligus has some excellent advice, and it is true that some women simply don't come from vaginal stimulation. If you really want to come during sex, have you tried masturbating your clitoris during sex?

Finally, I found what I finally had to do was relax, and focus during sex. I took slow breaths, stopped writhing and moaning, and focused on tiny details about what felt good. (and then yelled "OHMYGODDON'TSTOP!" or some derivative thereof...) Looking into his eyes as the feeling grew made it more intense. I still don't have strong vaginal orgasms, but this did seem to work.

The other thing I find is keyed to my kink. I like to be dominated and tied up, although not always. Sometimes, for me to be able to let go enough to enjoy sex up, I need control to be taken away from me. For example, a few nights ago I thought I was too sore for sex, but a while later he held me down by my wrists and whispered dirty things in my ear, and it was a completely different story. I don't know if you are at all into this or not.

 

It's amazing what comfort can do in a case like that. It seems everyone else has given some great advice, but I'll second (or third) those that advise knowing yourself and what you like. Also, if your partner is penetrating, and he's rubbing your clit in time with it (or even if YOU are rubbing your clit in time with it), isn't that an orgasm that "the big 'o'"? Ok, it might not be EXACTLY what people mean when they talk about it, but it seems to me that the ultimate goal was reached, both parties satisfied, feelings spared, and semantics are the only things unconquerable.

My fiancee claimed she can only cum when she's on top. She doesn't know why, and I don't either. She told me even before our first time that it was the only way she could. And I'll admit, she CAN cum on top. We've tried different penetration positions, and they all were pleasant, but unsuccessful. But, unless I'm mistaken or she lied to me, I've made her cum in different ways. With my fingers once or twice (I tend to use fingers as foreplay, not completion), with my mouth, and an almost-orgasm one time that I swear was only through nipple play and biting. LOL I'm fairly sure she's never had THAT happen before, judging by her very violent reaction! (Violent in a very good sense ) So while the actual penetration orgasm is harder to achieve than most women, it's still fulfilling in different ways, and possible.

So I guess what I'm saying is that comfort is a huge thing, and maybe, even if you think you feel absurdly comfortable and at ease, all it takes is a little more. And finding that perfect, unique motion, obviously.

 

OK----here is my 2 cents:

I agree with most of what has been said above, and there have been several good points made and some good suggestions.

However, reading your responses, you indicate that you have already tried many of the suggestions, so...

It very well may be more along the line of a psychological block than anything else. Now wait-----I am not saying there is anything WRONG with you, it is just the way the mind can work...


IF you were not able to orgasm with a partner during your first sexual experiences, whether this was because of nervousness on your part, ineptitude of your partners or inexperience for both of you, this could have created a subconscious pattern in your mind. In other words, you do not EXPECT to orgasm unless you are alone and masturbating.

You WANT to orgasm with a partner, but you subconsciously don't EXPECT to. This can, and DOES, often create a kind of physical block as well that is actually preventing you from orgasming.

It IS important to relax, to be comfortable, but if that mental block is there, you will be having a much more difficult time.

It also is a kind of NEGATIVE stimulus to hear you say you are tired of friends telling you that THEY can orgasm with their partners. This causes you to put even MORE ressure on yourselk, to THINK, even if it is subconsciously, that you are smehow different, and it will not happen for you.

Basically, ---this is admittedly not easy--- you have to start believing that you CAN orgasm with a artner. Put any past experiencs out of yur mind and start fresh.

You ARE a highly rgasmic woman. It is NATURAL for you to cum over and over with another's stimulus...

Go for it, and good luck!

 

OK----here is my 2 cents:

I agree with most of what has been said above, and there have been several good points made and some good suggestions.

However, reading your responses, you indicate that you have already tried many of the suggestions, so...

It very well may be more along the line of a psychological block than anything else. Now wait-----I am not saying there is anything WRONG with you, it is just the way the mind can work...


IF you were not able to orgasm with a partner during your first sexual experiences, whether this was because of nervousness on your part, ineptitude of your partners or inexperience for both of you, this could have created a subconscious pattern in your mind. In other words, you do not EXPECT to orgasm unless you are alone and masturbating.

You WANT to orgasm with a partner, but you subconsciously don't EXPECT to. This can, and DOES, often create a kind of physical block as well that is actually preventing you from orgasming.

It IS important to relax, to be comfortable, but if that mental block is there, you will be having a much more difficult time.

It also is a kind of NEGATIVE stimulus to hear you say you are tired of friends telling you that THEY can orgasm with their partners. This causes you to put even MORE pressure on yourself, to THINK, even if it is subconsciously, that you are smehow different, and it will not happen for you.

Basically, ---this is admittedly not easy--- you have to start believing that you CAN orgasm with a partner. Put any past experiences out of your mind and start fresh.

You ARE a highly orgasmic woman. It is NATURAL for you to cum over and over with another's stimulus...

Go for it, and good luck!

 

I apologize, but I have no idea why this double-posted...