Do any guys out there have have a problem like this.
My wife is never ready for sex. I have to beg for it. she will never be the one to ask. what do I do??????

 

I knew what the problem was as soon as I started reading this.

You got married.

Ha. Just kidding, of course.

 

I hear you. Have similar problem. Women are so complex it drives me nuts

 

from the womans POV, my husband and I used to have the same problem but it stemmed from him asking for sex from the moment he woke up and it carried on all day long until by the end of the day it was more like a chore, much like dishes or laundry. It's hard for the woman to ask first if it's the first words out of his mouth every morning.

Try asking less to give her the opportunity to ask first.


Also the synthetic hormones in birth control methods are a major sex drive killer as are anti-depressants. If she takes either, that's also contributing to the problem.

 

Hey thanks so much she is on birth control that must one of the problems 4 sure. I realy try to be sweet when I ask. thanks much

 

Remember also that the brain is a woman's biggest and most powerful erogenous zone. Drop little hints about things you'd like to do to her; romance her. Do it for a few days without making an overtly sexual move on her. Let her simmer. She'll ask.

 

I know where you are comming from I was going through this last year with my wife. I want you to think of these question and answer them honestly to your self. Do you talk to her about sex more than any thing else? When you are together how long before you ask for sex? Do you reminder and tell her that you want her to ask for sex? Do you plan your nights out around trying to have sex? If you answered yes to any of these than first you must back off! The first thing you must do is control your self. Find something she likes or would like to do and do it. No talk of sex and the hardest of all do not even try to get some. If you have to go jerk off in the bathroom and go to bed. Now what you need to do is prove to her that she is not just your fuck toy. This will take a while but if you play your cards right it will be worth it. After she has had a long day give her a full body massage but do not have sex. if you ask for sex seven times a week now make in no more than two and never back to back. If any less than seven times than only once a week. I did this and now nine out of ten times I want sex she knows and there is no discussion just sex. Best of luck pm if you want any suggestions

 

to the women here, how would you prefer it when being "asked" for sex?

do you want romance and candle lit dinners? because in these times, that'll be hard on the pocket.

do you want a wink? an hour's notice? what?

sorry, i'm confused as a lot of men are..

 

That's a pretty loaded question because we're all different.

I'm not real romantic, I'm more primal.

Also these days pretty much all I need is for us to be alone in the house together.

 

my experience

Here is my experience:

We had the same issues, y the time the day ended, she just wanted to pass out - she would never make the move. In general most women will not make the first move as much as the guy unless the girl is in prowl mode - i.e. out with the girls looking for it.

finally for me it blew over, and I was upset - I told her that at the very least you know I think you are hot, but that feeling is not returned for me.

She also said that I used to be more romantic, more huggy and kissy and that is what got her more in the mood - spontaneous hugs and kisses without the aim of sex (Although it is in the back of my mind), those spontaneous acts did get her to ask for it a bit more often, and or when I would ask it would not be like I was begging and she would also want it.

So have the discussion - be honest and it may also get tense, but also try some of the other things I have noted - it may get her going.

 

Also, make sure when she does have sex, you focus on her about her pleasure.

 

Out of curiousity, what kind of birth control is it? Is it Mirena?

 

yup - same here. have talked the mouth off and didnt do any good. we split and are both much happier. I found someone who appreciates my sexuality and is matched with how much we want. I dont think she is seeing anyone but who cares.

people change! sometimes the best to do is quit

 

****She also said that I used to be more romantic, more huggy and kissy and that is what got her more in the mood - spontaneous hugs and kisses without the aim of sex (Although it is in the back of my mind), those spontaneous acts did get her to ask for it a bit more often, and or when I would ask it would not be like I was begging and she would also want it.***


My wife is NOT romantic. We have had discussions/fights about sex for almost our entire relationship. We fit together perfectly in EVERY other aspect of our relationship. (Career, Kids, Family, Morals, etc...) Sex is the big stumbling block for the two of us. She has specifically said that she doesn't want to talk about sex and she wants it to be an organic stress relief kind of thing.

Any women or men who feel similarly about "physical relief" care to elaborate what this could mean. I swear she is like a stereotypical guy in that she doesn't want to talk about the feelings or stuff behind sex.

Thanks,

 

Someone probably already wrote this but just in case (a little bored to read all tha posts)

when there is a sex problem that means one thing, usually. There is a deeper problem in the relationship, something you guys avoid talking about. Maybe it's something your wife has a problem with and problems talking about it. Solve that and you're good to go. But don't let it linger for too long.

Another common explanation is routine. Try something new you know fantasies you guys never talked about turn ons you might be embarrassed about etc, after talking about it with your wife, and again good to go.

 

candles, soft music and a massage with some jasmine oil or lilac oil (her favorite smells) usually gets me lucky....

have it all setup and ready when she gets home.... kill the breakers in the house other than a few well placed candles to light her way to the bedroom.... Hide behind the door or some where in the house you can sneak up behind her and give her a gentle kiss on the neck before she realizes you are there. help her undress slowly and gently. dont let her speak. lay her down on the bed, give her a good massage without any sexual play at all.... after a while she will want a little play only then do you advance in any way... make sure you make her aware that this is all about her. only do what she wants you too when she wants you to....

I have pulled this trick countless times.... I could do it in my sleep


if that fails there are always Roofie Colatas j/k



btw jasmine oil or lilac oil that is not made to be a lubricant should not be anywhere near her sensitive parts..... apparently it burns very bad.... we learned that the hard way... thats a huge mood killer

 

Alright.... when im with someone, I always have sex on my mind. I was lucky in my previous relationship that she was as horny as I was, but if I annoyed her about it, it still wouldnt happen. Ive also had girls that werent as sexual, but you can make them that way if you play it right.

Compliments compliments compliments! a huge reason why a lot of women may not be as sexual is they are a little insecure in themselves and if you do and say things that build them up, they will feel better about themselves and hopefully appreciate what you are saying and want to take YOU to bed.

Now dont go crazy with it and say rediculous shit. Be honest with your compliments. If you think she looks good, tell her. If she smells good, tell her. If she looks like hell, tell her you love her because she knows she looks like hell and will write off your compliment. But show desire in her!

Something that worked great for me is id come up behind my SO when she was doing something and give her a hug from behind and take a big breath in and let out a moan in her ear like "mmmmmmmm" in a deep way showing desire and either kiss her on the neck or cheek and then let go and do what i was doing before I grabbed her. Everytime i have done that, I had sex before I went to bed that day.

Not saying you have to do that but make her feel happy and wanted.

 

You know, it's strange, but now that I think about it I can't ever remember actually asking for sex.

Seduction has just always been an ongoing process for me.

 

simple get urself a number 2..:wink:

 

but sex is not the be-all of relationships, i think.. why should sex problems necessarily mean relationship problems when it can simply mean that the couple is not just sexually attune to each other at that moment. surely, we can't expect the heat and passion of eons ago, when the couple's still wooing each other, to still be readily available, in a snap, when there are real money problems, housework, office work, errands, kids and all that comes with making a home.