1. Hello,


    New users on the forum won't be able to send PM untill certain criteria are met (you need to have at least 6 posts in any sub forum).

    One more important message - Do not answer to people pretending to be from xnxx team or a member of the staff. If the email is not from forum@xnxx.com or the message on the forum is not from StanleyOG it's not an admin or member of the staff. Please be carefull who you give your information to.


    Best regards,

    StanleyOG.

    Dismiss Notice

  2. Hello,


    You can now get verified on forum.

    The way it's gonna work is that you can send me a PM with a verification picture. The picture has to contain you and forum name on piece of paper or on your body and your username or my username instead of the website name, if you prefer that.

    I need to be able to recognize you in that picture. You need to have some pictures of your self in your gallery so I can compare that picture.

    Please note that verification is completely optional and it won't give you any extra features or access. You will have a check mark (as I have now, if you want to look) and verification will only mean that you are who you say you are.

    You may not use a fake pictures for verification. If you try to verify your account with a fake picture or someone else picture, or just spam me with fake pictures, you will get Banned!

    The pictures that you will send me for verification won't be public


    Best regards,

    StanleyOG.

    Dismiss Notice
PM change Verification
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  1. chunky

    chunky Porn Star

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Messages:
    8,198
    Nov 19, 2009
    Top Tip

    When you're looking for a new house, buy a bungalow.
    That way you can save lots of money on stair-carpets and ladders.
     
    #41
  2. michael saint

    michael saint Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    7,200
    Nov 19, 2009

    Top Tip.

    DOG OWNERS. Never lose your TV remote control again. Simply sellotape it to the back of your dog, and hey presto! Whistle, and the device is at your beck and call! This can also apply to hot drinks, after intense training.
     
    #42
  3. bigbird

    bigbird Dirty English Gent

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2006
    Messages:
    67,255
    Nov 19, 2009
    Test which way the wind is blowing before peeing outside - or failing that - wear carrier bags around your feet
     
    #43
  4. michael saint

    michael saint Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    7,200
    Nov 19, 2009
    Top Tip.


    DON'T BUY your sister-in-law a thong for her birthday then expect your wife to be pleased, particularly if you comment on how nice her arse looks in it.
     
    #44
  5. oldiegoody

    oldiegoody In XNXX Heaven In XNXX Heaven

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2007
    Messages:
    4,501
    Nov 19, 2009
    Sure cure for crab lice!

    Shave exactly half of your pubic hair.
    Soak the remaining half with kerosene or gasoline ( petrol for you Brits).
    Ignite, match or lighter, either will work.
    When the crab lice run out of the burning forest of burning pubic hair to the naked side,
    stab them with an icepick! :excited::excited::excited::excited::excited:
     
    #45
  6. richief

    richief The Curly Wurly Man In XNXX Heaven

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2009
    Messages:
    26,220
    Nov 19, 2009
    Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and
    grazes with thin strips of bacon.
     
    #46
  7. A.Lee.Ass

    A.Lee.Ass Porn Surfer

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    Messages:
    17
    Nov 19, 2009
    Always choose a place less traveled to hide the bodies.
     
    #47
  8. lilgeorgiapeach

    lilgeorgiapeach Porno Junky

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Messages:
    405
    Nov 19, 2009
    Never attempt to fasten your shoe laces in a revolving supermarket door.
     
    #48
  9. michael saint

    michael saint Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    7,200
    Nov 19, 2009

    Top Tip.

    MURDERERS, Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it to yourself via DHL. You will never see it again.
     
    #49
  10. richief

    richief The Curly Wurly Man In XNXX Heaven

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2009
    Messages:
    26,220
    Nov 19, 2009
    Don't buy expensive "ribbed" condoms, just buy an ordinary one and
    slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
     
    #50
  11. lilgeorgiapeach

    lilgeorgiapeach Porno Junky

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Messages:
    405
    Nov 19, 2009
    hahahahaha very cute
     
    #51
  12. A.Lee.Ass

    A.Lee.Ass Porn Surfer

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    Messages:
    17
    Nov 19, 2009
    274258 49175 10 1085
     
    #52
  13. michael saint

    michael saint Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    7,200
    Nov 19, 2009

    Top Tip.

    WANKERS. Save yourself a great deal of embarrassment by checking that none of your housemates have come home from work sick and are sleeping in their rooms before you put a porn vid on in the living room with the volume on high.
     
    #53
  14. Lioness

    Lioness A Fun Flirty Frisky Friendly Felion

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2007
    Messages:
    51,318
    Nov 19, 2009
    That one sounds like personal experience.
     
    #54
  15. Haswigbeorn

    Haswigbeorn Amateur

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Messages:
    91
    Nov 19, 2009
    Big issue vendors. Have blonde hair and big tits. That way you'll sell more copies.
     
    #55
  16. michael saint

    michael saint Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    7,200
    Nov 19, 2009

    To be honest most of them are a bit close to home in my case...........:(

    This one is completely true.

    Top Tip.


    WOMEN. WHY take two bottles into the shower when you can take about a dozen, cluttering up the shelf so there is no room for the single bottle of all over shampoo that we seem to be able to manage perfectly well with? For fuck's sake.
     
    #56
  17. Lioness

    Lioness A Fun Flirty Frisky Friendly Felion

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2007
    Messages:
    51,318
    Nov 19, 2009
    Why have only one when you can have a dozen?? There are so many colors and scents. Pretty!
     
    #57
  18. hunterxc

    hunterxc Porno Junky

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2009
    Messages:
    293
    Nov 19, 2009
    The late Red Skelton had these words of wisdom in child-rearing...
    When giving a small child a bath, Never stick your elbow in the water to test the temperature, you might burn yourself. Simply stick the kid in. If he turns red, the water's too hot. If he turns blue, it's too cold.
     
    #58
  19. michael saint

    michael saint Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    7,200
    Nov 19, 2009
    Top Tip.

    CONVINCE your neighbours that evolution is working backwards by not shaving for a week, walking to your car gradually more stooped each morning and wearing a monkey costume on the Friday.
     
    #59
  20. AsmoDaeusI

    AsmoDaeusI Porn Surfer

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2009
    Messages:
    27
    Nov 20, 2009
    When dieting ess vie ein foygl.
     
    #60
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