I've been dating this girl for about 4 months.. She wants to have sex, but she has a few problems.

1. It hurts her when I try to put my dick in her. It also hurts her when putting one finger in.

2. Even though she is on birth control and I'm wearing a condom she is so freaked out that she will get pregnant.

3. She has this fear that she might not like sex.

Is there anything I should specifically talk about to her? I've been trying to talk to her about this. It usually ends up with her crying because she thinks something is wrong with her.

 

I've never been with a virgin, or near virgin. With that said though, she needs to work on expanding her vagina. If she won't do it, you can do it-but this way:

Go down on her. Lick her pussy lips and very slightly suck on her clit while rubbing your tongue across the clit. After about five minutes, work your finger in (while continuing to eat her out), but take your time and be gentle.

A female can't feel anything once inside their vagina, but the entrance is very tender. This is what's causing her pain. It also sounds like she has an extremely low threshold of pain and she's frightened-ratcheting up her sensitivity. Eating her out will relax her.

 

HUH??????? I don't know where you get that information at!!!!!

First leave the 12 year olds alone!!!!
Second you have probably spent most of you post puberty life playing with yourself, she needs to do the same!!!! She needs to learn to masturbate herself, fingers, hair brush handles those kind of things!!! Other that being gentle, it's really up to her to learn her body and do what makes her feel good and learn when she is ready for penetration!!!
Hard for you to make her cum if she doesn't know how to make herself!!!

 

i agree with yeehaarider.
i was with a girl like that once. slowly but surely. stretch it out man!

 

Let her turn 18 first

Joking aside, how big are your fingers? Your cock must be gigantic if it hurts to penetrate. Sure you are in the pink? Just remember it is never the wrong hole:excited:

 

to those saying she's not of age.. she's 22. I'm 23. Please stop jumping to conclusions.

 

good luck

First off if she is of age I would give her a couple of drinks (I'm not saying get her tanked) to help her relax. Other than that too much foreplay dosen't exist for women......Make her so crazy that she dosen't want any thing more.

 

How old is she/you, first of all? If you are under 18, don't tell us, obviously, or you'll get banned (just say 18 if you are 18 or below), but you can tell us how old she is.
If she is 15 or something, it might simply be a matter of physical immaturity. She might just need more time to develop.

Good job on the birth control and condoms, it's good to see kids not being fucking idiots nowadays. Depending on the contraceptive method, there is usually only about a .05% fail rate per YEAR (with perfect use for those on the pill, etc.), and condoms have a 13% fail rate per year also. Putting those together means that there is a VERY VERY small chance of her getting pregnant. Theoretically, there is still a CHANCE of it, but there is a chance you can get into a fatal accident every time you get into a car. Maybe tell her these statistics because really, if you are careful, and it sounds like you are, there is little need to worry.
In the same vein, does her fear of pregnancy inhibit her ability to get aroused at all? If she is so worried about getting pregnant, then maybe she just really can't "get into it", and this would mean that there wouldn't be proper vasocongestion of the vaginal walls (blood flow), natural vaginal lubrication, elongation of the vagina and elevation of the uterus, etc. which are all physiological effects designed to make sex both possible and enjoyable. So if her fear of pregnancy means she can't get "turned on", so to speak, then that might be a possible source of her pain during any kind of penetration. Talk to her about it maybe.

As far as the pain goes, are your fingers or is your penis fairly large? Once again, if you are a big guy packing big insertable objects, and she is small/young, then maybe it is just a size issue. However, since she is a virgin, she does have a hymen, and it is very common for that to kinda get in the way and cause some pain, especially the first couple times, and yes, even for things like fingers that aren't very big. The good news is if the hymen is the only thing in the way, she just needs to bite the bullet the first couple times (and it won't be that bad, it usually only hurts just at first, and it shouldn't hurt a lot), and then she can enjoy as much sex as she wants.
If none of this is really matching up for you guys, then have her see her OBGYN. If she doesn't have one, make her get one, she is becoming sexually active, so she needs a gynecologist. Anyway, have her checked out, she could have whats called a partially septated vagina (which basically means there is a membrane in there splitting her vagina into two, just as your nasal septum gives you two nostrils), and that can cause pain. There is a big list of things that could cause pain, so go get that checked out medically.

Now her fear of not liking sex is interesting. A fear of just sex in general would scream sexual abuse (assuming she was older, as in 20+), but if she fears not ENJOYING it... well there could be some childhood stuff coming back to bite her, or it could just be a weird little personality thing. Ask her about it.

So to sum up:

1. Is she physically mature enough to be having sex? If not, that could describe the pain.
2. Good job on the birth control. Statistics are WAY on your side, so tell her this.
3. Is her fear of pregnancy maybe interfering with her level of arousal, because if she's not aroused, her body isn't going to be physically willing to have sex (she'll be dry, constricted, etc.)
4. Could just be a size thing if she is small and you are big. Also could just be her hymen not being torn yet.
5. If it's none of the above, have her go see a gynecologist, as there could be any number of things causing pain.
6. Ask her about her fear of not liking sex and see if there are any childhood things that need treatment. If not, just assure her that sex is great, because it is.

I know I'm making this seem much more of a big deal than it is, but don't worry my friend, sex should be a fun, lighthearted experience to share. As long as you are smart about it, and it sounds like you are, it's going to be great.

-SOOD