Okay, my two cents: x orion comes from the one place in the world where English is spoken and written the most beautifully, A.P. has a command of the English language that is confounding to most and entertaining (at least) to the rest, Miss Em is one of the sexiest ladies in existence, but I will personally be damned if I ever read any of the writings of any of them. I don't care much for writers on this or any other site trying on one-up each other - like I said before, we have enough problems with government intrusion/control and we don't need this kind of crap from each other. Thanks for ruining my day.

 

I quietly slip in your room, shut and lock the door behind me. I walk to your bedside, slip off my flip flops, and pull my thin pink cami top over my head, my nipples are usually hard it seems but at this moment they are extremely hard. I didn’t wear a bra, and everyone that I encountered today, their eyes immediately went to my chest and nipples that were poking in my top. ....etc.

Mr. O, I have just six words for you, coined by some Roman guy lost to history:

I came.
I saw.
I conquered.

Heck. If you're not convinced that structural repetition in exposition has utility, read just about anything by Ginsberg or Frank O'Hara. Admittedly, the tense problems in your quote detract from the effectiveness of the use of repetition. Most likely not a shining moment in the author's literary career. But, as DC gently emphasized somewhere above, there is a way to say it!

If you tone down the rant for just a moment, perhaps you'll see that you're missing the point. Most of the authors at this place are developing their craft, and are improving, thanks to constructive criticism by peers and the positive interchange of ideas. Miss Emily's stories are improving. No thanks to you. No thanks, whatsoever.

Your constant use of invective is not only wearisome, but it detracts from whatever points you are attempting to make. Am I a "good enough writer" to be making these points? (giggle) I'm not here to earn points from you, or from anyone else, so please save the ingratiation for someone who needs it. My craft has nothing to do with it. The stories are fiction, and because this is a porn site, the stories tend to contain profanity. The forum itself is populated by real people, with feelings, who are here to develop their craft among peers and colleagues. They're not here to be beaten on by someone who could have been a contender, if only he'd changed out of his dirty pajamas and spent less time on the Internet. All we're asking for is a modicum of decorum; that you save the potty words for your stories, and that you play nice.

Gosh, sir. One would think that poor Miss Em had harmed you in a previous life.


A.P.

 

Thank you.

 

Am I still reading the same thread?

Didn't this thread start out as a challenge by ejls to all of us writers to submit stories which all start with the same first paragraph?

Am I delusional, or am I correct in inferring that the intent of the OP was to give us all an opportunity to flex our creative muscles by showing each other where our imaginations could take us, having all started from the same point?

Did I miss something? I thought, when I read ejls' contest idea, that this would serve as an amusing exercise that could inject new life into this site. I, apparently naively, thought that this was going to be a fun competition within our loose-knit, admittedly dysfunctional, family of porn-loving writers.

Wasn't this supposed to be entertaining? And I don't mean the kind of entertainment one experiences when watching an illegal dog fight. I mean the kind of entertainment that brings smiles, maybe the occasional giggle, and, hopefully, the occasional boner or moist panty.

How could I have been so off-target?

To those among us who have decided to go after each other with brass knuckles:

Enough already!

Make love, not war!

Get off your fucking high horse and lose your holier-than-thou attitude!

Instead of wasting your time insulting each other, spend your time writing the best damn stories you've ever done.

Make us want to read every word. Make us laugh, make us cry, make us feel, make us cum if you can.

Please, just stop making us want to avoid reading you!

 

Thank you, also.

 

Don, I am sorry to have given offense.

 

Apologies to you, too. Worked myself into a tizzy.

 

Thank you. You're right; this is not the place for bickering. I'll admit that I was one of the ones who threw in my two cents, and for that, I apologize.

If anyone wants to continue the x_orion vs. Emily discussion, create a new thread for it. Leave this one for discussions about the contest.

 

L.S.

I initially agreed to take part in this contest because a) I have written alot for myself as a cathartic exercise but never dared post any of it and b) given my history, which is alluded to in some of my posting history, I thought I may have some unique insights to contribute.

To be perfectly honest after reading this thread and digesting the judgemental tone of some of the commentary as well as the elitist attitude AP in particular conveys, I am now scared shitless.

My literary style may turn out to be juvenille, my structure will certainly be at fault and my story lines may be shallow although I hope not plaigeristic (if so then it will be coincidental).

I have read both EM's and O's stories and enjoyed aspects of both of them, however, if I am going to be subject to this kind of baseless vitriol then what is the point?

I thought the entire point was to get people writing, make a few new friends and entertain.

Perhaps the new writers should be in a different category than the potential Nobel laureates.

Thinskin

 

No, no, no!! Please compete! Ignore me, and my vitriol!

First of all, I'm not competing. And even if I did, I'd lose. If you've ever attempted to read my filth, you'd know I don't have a prayer!

I only went into a tizzy, because I saw other writers beating up on each other. I went into story dissection mode only to make the point that no one here should be calling the kettle black. At any rate, a thousand apologies! Write your story!

A.P.

 

Please compete. If you read the complete thread, you'll notice that we're only hostile toward a certain writer who made rude comments about another writer. We're quick to defend each other around here. As an author who considers myself in your "potential Nobel laureates" category (Like I said before, I don't believe in false humility), I would love to have you join the competition.

 

Alright, so now that this inter-writer fight seems to be dying down, let's jump ships and get back onto the topic of the competition.

What do you guys think is the best way to submit stories so that they can be read anonymously? Perhaps everyone can e-mail one person their stories, then that person can make a thread and put every story in it as a different post?

If we decide on something like that, ejls, I'd be glad to take care of it so you don't have to do any more work than you already have. You've done so much, and that's a lot of work. But if you want to, that's cool too.

Any other ideas?

 

Ooh that's a good point - how are we all going to display our stories on 1st May?
Excuse me being a dumb redhead

 

Naw, you aren't dumb.

My idea is that everyone e-mails their stories to one person, then that person posts each story as a separate post in a brand new thread. This is, of course, if the rating system doesn't come back by then.

 

Hey there, this is a good idea and I would like to participate also, add me to your list please Miss Ejls

 

You got it!

 

Hey, this is a damn good idea about jumping back into the ship we rode in on! When we (yes, including me) jumped into that other boat, we found a dead horse which we beat until its battered carcass wasn't even a fitting meal for hungry carrion!

I do believe we did learn a couple of worthwhile lessons on our little side excursion. There may be a time and place for throwing stones, but this thread was neither. Also, writers are competitive in print, yet in a real-life forum setting they can be strong advocates for civility and fair treatment among themselves.

Now back to our regular thread...

 

Bookmarked, let's see if I have enough time.

 

This may have already been said; I didn't feel like reading through page after page of posts to find out. But instead of waiting for the mods to validate and verify the stories in the stories section, how about we have two threads? A thread for the stories to all be posted in one place, where all can read them, and another thread for the official voting and comments?

 

This way, everyone can post their stories after April 25th and before May 1st. AND we don't have to count on the lax administrators to do anything. We just do it ourselves.