I hear this a lot from people. They say they have a hard time starting conversations on sex or that they are shy about talking about sex. Well, me too. I'm *very* shy, but ... you'd never guess it. What I've learned is how to compensate for my shyness. How to talk to people and give them the impression that I am not shy. People who don't know me well would never in a million years think that I'm shy. It's taken me a long time, but I've managed to learn how to fool the best of them.

How'd I do it? Well, I practice. I practice A LOT. I practice on ANYBODY! There are unwilling victims all over the place.

Here's how I do it. I make myself talk to people that I normally talk to, but about things that I normally wouldn't talk about. Such as ... the grocery store check out person! Hey cool, I'm standing there while she's scanning my stuff, I notice she has on blue nail polish or some funky thing, what do I do ... I say, "hey, I really like your nail polish!" Even if I really think it just looks funky. Heck, why not say it. It makes the check out person feel good. I get to practice talking to someone and the people in line behind me might giggle a bit.

So that's starting easy. I'm talking to someone who is probably busy they really won't notice if I made eye contact or not. (I can even be looking at the polish while I tell them how great it is ... ). Once I got a little used to that, I started moving on to speaking to people I normally wouldn't speak to. That's harder.

I started by just making eye contact with people and smiling. You'd be amazed. Most people are surpised when someone just looks at them and smiles. This might sound bad, but old people especially just eat that up. This can be fun. I'll walk around the grocery store make eye contact and smile at everyone I pass.

Once the eye contact part got easier I started making small comments to people. Stating the obvious is always fun. "Man, it's a hot one out there today!" I live in AZ ... heh, summer it's always hot. You'll get mixed responses to that kind of thing. Sometimes I'll get a look like "no shit Sherlock" but more often people will respond with something like "Yea, it's 109 last time I checked ... " Sometimes you'll run into someone who will start really blabbering at you "it's really hot and this one time, at band camp ... " Thing is, their response does not matter. What matters is you getting used to looking at someone, opening your mouth and saying something.

If you keep making yourself do this, it starts to become a habit. It gets easier and easier to do. After a while, it starts to flood over to where you never expected it to flood. You'll find yourself doing this in front of people you know ... which wasn't the project. You didn't plan that but oh my, there you go chatting with the check out girl about her really cool earings! Your shy friend is thinking "man, I wish I could talk to people like that ... " Next thing you know, people will start saying, oh my god, that you are not shy! No way, you're outgoing! And friendly! (If they only knew the truth ... ) It will even start to leak out into your presonal relationships. Once you get yourself started, it keeps building.

Here is the catch ... no matter who you talk to or what the circumstaces are STAY POSITIVE! You don't want to be that grumbling idiot who was in line behind me at the DMV. No, you want positive responses so you say postive things.

I still consider myself shy. It takes me a while to really warm up to people and let them see the "real me" but I do not come off as shy. Quite the contrary. Most people think I'm really outgoing. I've actually had people tell me they wish they could be more outgoing like me.

So anyway, hope that helps at least one other person. I know there are others who can probably add to this. Let you in on their tips and tricks.

P.S. these are not just my words...

 

Sounds like me...

 

Really very good article share here.

 

Intresting article.

 

Good advice jessica