sucks to be you.

 

Maybe just be all manly and just kind of rape her. not rape like tie up just force yourself on her. and tell her what you want. That's what I'd do, but I'm not you lol

 

Serious answer for serious question

You should join the Experience Project online (www.experienceproject.com). One of the most visited groups is "I live in a sexless marriage." It is a supportive community with some good advice.

 

I took a little advice from some of you guys who gave some good advice and took a little more control. We went swimming and she made me promise not to get to handsy while we were swimming. I did my best to do that but eventually I pined her against the pool wall and started to kiss her. She told me to stop and I started to but then I thought of what you all had said. I swam back to her and pulled her top down and kissed her again. She wanted me to stop because sshe was afraid someone would look over the wall. I said that's what makes it fun. A few minutes later her swim suit was floating in the pool and her hands were down my shorts. She then straddled my cock and rode me till she came. It was a great night. Then to make it better I got a text today at work wanting to know if we could go swimming again tonight with a smilly after it. So thanks everyone.

 

i was going to suggest a hooker or her sister.

 

I agree with all of you who said they need to talk and maybe get some therapy, try new things and new moods. I do think she has an emotional problem, and she either hasn't overcame that or she's not even aware of it. Yes, I think her self esteem is lower, but it's not like she was born like that. Maybe she had issues in the past.. abuse (doesn't have to be just sexual), addictions, even rape. If she never mentioned that to you, doesn't mean it never happened. Maybe this is her way of coping with stress from a trauma, hiding and hoping it will go away.
You guys, all the ones that put all the blame on her, are the reason why I did the same for the longest time. I kept my issue just for me, and no wonder I couldn't held a bf for more than a month. I was getting all defensive with no reason, I was avoiding intimacy and I had a problem with my self esteem (which I was hiding under a 'je m'en fiche' mask, pretending I'm tough and couldn't care less). But I was lucky enough to come clean and admit it, then I started to accept it and having fun. I haven't jumped to a wild sex life right away, but I do feel more comfortable and willing to experience new stuff.
So give her credit, she's innocent unless otherwise proven. And she needs to feel understood and protected.

JcIce, I would tell you to kinda notice what's different when she is willing to have sex. Is there a particular thing that turns her on? A mood, a song, a movie, something you or she did, a specific time of the month... anything? Cause from what you're saying last time you had sex, it looks like it came from her, not like you induced that and she just accepted. There must be something that put the idea in her mind and made her texting you.. which I think was cute.
One more thing.. can you try to discuss and propose her other types of experiences? (of course, if you're ok with it) I would think that maybe another's woman's touch can do miracles....

 

My wife has cut me back to once every month. But that's not bad, I know two guys she has cut off completely.


(I miss Rodney Dangerfield)

 

Stop whining!! It is a "total chore" wow that's a real turn on, that just makes me wet!!

 

i second that notion...

 

I WOULD DIE

I CAN NOT IMAGINE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE. I GUESS I HAVE BEEN LUCKY IN THE FACT THAT EVERY GIRL I HAVE DATED/LIVED WITH/MARRIED ALL HAVE BEEN KINKY COCK CRAVING LITTLE BITCHES. I'M OVER 4O NOW AND ITS A CONSTANT BATTLE TO KEEP MY DICK FROM GETTING RAW.
I THINK YOU SHOULD TELL HER YOUR SORRY SHE DOESN'T FEEL LIKE HAVING SEX, BUT IT IS NOT ONLY ABOUT HER, BEND HER OVER AND FUCK HER TO TEARS. SHE MAY LIKE IT, SHE MAY JUST ALLOW IT. THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN IS SHE COULD MARCH HER FRESH FUCKED ASS OUT THE DOOR FOR GOOD. EITHER WAY YOUR PROBLEM IS SOLVED!

 

Yeah, three years seems to be the limit when one or both lose interest...counseling, masturbation or divorce if you can't sit down and come to some sort of understanding...maybe you can extort the pussy if you have dirt on her.

 

In the Same Boat

My wife and I are going through the same thing. I say my wife and I because I believe she is suffering as much as me. I have been an ass, i have no doubt about that. One very important thing i have figured out is that women absolutely don't think like men.....AT ALL! I am genuine when I tell her I miss our sexual friendship, that I need that friendship, and love her so very much. What she heard was, she is NOT enough for me. Then she gets depressed, upset, and pissed. I think the reason it changes is because in the beginning because of how new and fresh it was, she KNEW she was the shit. Then as time goes by and doubt creeps in she is left in a state of confusion. So when we think it is us our wives don't want or that they have lost their physical sex life, it is actually that our wives are in doubt of themselves sexually, caused by our constant need. I think it is a cruel and mean trick that nature has played on us all....
So be her friend, give her time, and try and see you in her eyes. It still sucks, but understanding where it comes from helps a little. Good Luck to us All.

 

It can be that but to make a gross judgment that it is always that is not right.

Certainly a woman can be worn down by thinking she can be never good enough by being with a man that is always wanting different things like nothing is ever good enough and she can field objectified or like crap for thinking not being good enough. She could also go through physical changes that both physically and mentally make her feel less attractive and her sex drive takes a major hit. It can also certainly be where life got out of control or very tiring like when having young children and the phrase use it or lose it can happen and once was always frisky person no longer is frisky.

But also can be someone who was not all that into sex and over time got comfortable once in the relationship and just reverted to their normal selves. It can be simply their enjoyments in life or what has gone on where they simply no longer think sex is as important or as desirable as other things. It can be a partner just lost being attracted to the other. Often in relationship one of the partners will resort to outburst and emotional blackmail in order to control the other person when the other person is not getting what they have had from the past from them.

This is also not just a gender issue. Plenty of women complain about a their man stopping being affectionate and having sex with them.

What I quoted though is a problem I do see a lot with men though. Men have a very bad habit of thinking they can fix it by doing something so it is easy to believe you are the trigger for the lack of sexual desire. Because you can change when it often appears your wife will not try herself. The other problem is often men convinced themselves that a woman does not have a sex drive that could possibly be independent of their guy. Yes life and a spouse can deeply impact a sex drive but there is also a natural sex drive in everyone that cannot be long term affected.

I always view posts where a spouse is in misery because their other has made their sex life dry up as how enablers for addicts act. They want something so bad they think if I just do this or I just do that the addict will be cured and go back to normal. But the fact is a spouse who went from a strong sex drive to little or none is the problem. The reason(s) are moot unless the addict admits they have a problem and willing to fix it. Now the fix very well could mean sitting down with their spouse and mention what I quoted and other things that were maybe not technically their fault and the other spouse will have to work on maybe even harder. But the addict/no sex desired spouse have to be willing to recognize they are hurting their spouse, not fulfilling marital obligations and not make excuses or emotional blackmail to stay in denial and go on where nothing changes until their spouse might eventually leave them.

***Want to add some will read and disagree with a sex drive cannot be long term impacted. I am not saying our sex drive can be long term different than before but that it cannot be long term impacted where someone does not feel the loss and would like to have it back. So when one seems so unwilling to try to restore a sex life and seems comfortable with a lack of sex and uses emotional blackmail as a defense to get it back, it raises alarm bells to me.***