OK I have a problem but to get into this I should add some back story.

For my first few GF's and encounters I never once came unless I did it myself (and only then laying back on the bed, never kneeling up to cum over them, tits, arse, facials, etc), I just assumed it was performance anxiety or low self esteem. A few years back I had a girl that could make me cum all the time (although usually only BJ or missionary as she was a little dull in bed) and I didn't have any problems for 99% of the time since.

However there is still an issue, I have never been able to cum intentionally over a girl despite wanting to (even doing it myself), I was on some medication that made it harder to cum, but I'm off that now and have been for long enough for the meds to be out of my system.

The last month I've been dating a new girl, who without hesitation, is the best lover I have ever had, but I've gone back to not being able to orgasm with her and it's frustrating the hell out of me and disappointing her (even if she won't admit it).

Does anyone have any suggestions, advice, help that can help me get over this and back to cumming with my new girl.

Oh and I have spoken to the Dr who just shrugged and said stress you'll get over it.

 

Sad day

Damn boy, this totaly sucks for you. I have no advice on how to get over it. Maybe try some stuff in bed? Have her talk dirty to you or dress up or something to get you super turned on... I dont really know.

 

Well it does suck and so does she, the advantage is I can fuck her for hours, but that's not all that great every time lol.

Obviously it's a new-ish relationship so still lots to try but she does talk dirty and is the most gorgeous girl I've ever been with so I'm super horny all the time with her.

 

well i have never had a problem cumming but there has been time where i have been drinking to much or the girl herself didnt turn me on as much as other girls.
But i do have something that may work each time that it's happen to me and most of the time it was cause i had been drink to much, i found if i just closed my eyes and started thinking of something or someone that really turn me on it help alot.
so the nexted time you to arre having sex try that thing of some porn that really turned you on but in your mind think it is your girlfriend your seeing in your mind...i hope this helps.
Oh another idea is trying diffrent position that maybe make the sention better for you you may even want to try making things a little kinky maybe trying diffrent thing you never done...
hope this help and dont worry it happen to the best of us at time and it will go away once you find your thing..

 

I really have no confidence in suggesting anything. The only thing I read in your message was you had somewhat no problems with a dull partner and now with a non dull partner it reared up again. This along with problems before, although medication could have been the big thing, that maybe this is an anxiety issue.

Whether when sex was new and pleasing the woman caused you anxiety. You had enough confidence with the dull girl to orgasm but came back with your new girlfriend. It could also very well have to do with your comfort level with the girl as sometimes even a person we like we tend to have a better fit/comfort level that can be separate from regular things and going into the bedroom. The partner's vibe could cause your anxiety to peek up.

I have also been on the receiving end where a guy was so into making sure I was having a good time that his big brain overrode his small brain causing him to lose arousal and of course it began to feed on itself where we had to stop. If we had quick foreplay then fuck or I just went straight for him cumming if giving him oral he was pretty much good to go.

If the doctor thinks it is just anxiety I would try to learn relaxation techniques, like meditation for example, and do them before sex. If you tend to have long foreplay when your problems occur you might want to try some wham bam type sex and try to learn to let your penis do the thinking in bed. Build up some confidence and comfort with your girlfriend and hopefully that could go a long way.

 

You know dude I have the same problem as you now I can fuck and fuck
for incredible lengths of time without cumming.

But what will help me somewhat is if I make myself go without sex or jacking off for like 3-4 days in a row, it helps me shorten the cum time
but I have never been able to get the ability to cum inside a pussy or ass again.

I always have to end up cumming by jacking, when I was younger I
never had any problem of being able to fuck someone nice and plant a load of cum inside them.

 

i go with what the doctor said. nerves.
as u said ure with a new girl and from what you thold its the first one since u stopped the medication?
so next time just take a deap breath.
yes u can be nervous without realising it.
so take it easy u can still have orgasms u just need to get at ease again^^
have fun

 

I'd find another doctor for a second opinion. Just to be sure.

 

Doctors in this country have very little time for such things, they would rather say stress than bother doing any tests, if you aren't a target a GP has to reach then it's likely you'll be ignored i.e. if this was related to high blood pressure he would have helped.

Okay but anyway it sounds like something thats phsyco-somatic or it's because you are phsyically used to getting yourself off, stop wanking for a month and see what happens, if that doesn't work go to a hypnotherapist ( only works if you believe it will).

Try the mind over matter methods first that way a doctor will take you more seriously.

 

You are just gay try having sex with a man and then see what happens.