Hi all,
Me and my partner are in a happy relationship and both love each other very much. We are both faithful to each other but the problem is that she has a low sex drive which is very frustrating.

Were both 24 and happy but Im a typical horney male and she gets horney about once every 2 weeks. I dont think its our lifestyles with work as we se each other often. She has been to the doctor and he says its a hormonal imbalance as she gets really moody during her period. The sex drive could be a side effect but she wont take any medication for it.

What im asking for is what advice could anyone give to help her get in the mood?

 

Hmm. My boyfriend and I are in the same boat, except opposite! I'm the horny one and he has the low sex drive. I'm 18, he's 24. But we've both always been the way we are.

I think there are several things to think about. Does she orgasm when you have sex? Really? If not, that could be a contributor - since she enjoys the intamacy, but she's not reaching sexual peak.

I would recomend lots of cuddling (whenever my boyfriend and I cuddle it always turns into sex lol) But don't just be like "let's cuddle" and then try to have sex. Have conversations in bed cuddling and stroking eachother's bodies, and just enjoy that and let it last for a while. After you've been cuddling and petting for a while perhaps guide her hand over your hard on if it hasn't gotten there already - but keep everything feeling natural. Or message your leg agains her pussy. etc. Intamacy can take the place of horny and make one want to have sex too. Ease into everything slowly. But like I said, be talking about something or focusing on something else while all of this is happening, don't make sex the only goal.

I would also recomend toys. get her a powerful vibrator for the clitoris. Also, does she masterbate? Ever have orgasms on her own? If not, encourage her to get to know her own body (after you buy her the vibrator).

Talk to her and see if she has any fantasies, fetishes etc. If yes, play on those.

Porn. that could possibly help, but possibly not, it depends on her.

And then finally medication. Is she on ANY medication for anything? When I was on birthcontrol because I had bad pms, it made my sex drive go way down. So if she is on any medication it could be doing the same for her. Or, perhaps she needs some medication (maybe birthcontrol, that will help with the pms too) to help with her sex drive.

And one more thing, lots of veriety in the bedroom. Oral sex (for you and her), different possitions, verbal talk, petting, kissing. Never let it be just you inserting your penis into her vigina and thrusting until you ejaculate.

Good luck!

 

If she doesnt have a good orgasam when you two have sex it might make her not look forward to it, also depends on what you do.. try something new that might make her want it more.

ask her what would make her want to have sex

 

Thanks for commenting. She does have orgasms and will often have 2 - 3 small ones after her initial first.

I have asked about fantasys and she doesnt have many - only one really that i havent tried but I certainly will. She doesnt have a toy but that sounds good and could be something we gould both use on her.

No she is not on any medication at the moment and doesnt like the thought of taking any type of drugs unless its paracetamol.

Thanks for your replys and advice its really helpful to get someones outside opinion.

 

If you want to tolerate this behavoir from her it will only get worse.
Try to find another woman who is like yourself. Do not settle.
There are women who like to have sex, she is not the one.

 

@ coffeeman

i have a close buudy who is in that same boat. she's rarely affectionate to her husband, rarely wants to be touch, cuddle, petting, fondled, have sex,
kissed, hold hands, doesn't believe in foreplay, not into anal, oral, facial,

blowjobs, handjobs, titty sucking, lingerie, porn, talking dirty, and so on.
i told him to get some serious counseling for the both of them.
she WILL NOT GO AT ALL, NO MATTER WHAT !!!!!!!!!!.

he is very fustrated by this. this has being going on for years. about
6 years to be exact. ( he's 28/29 ) ( she's 32/33 ). he has SEX !!!!!!!!!
ONE EVERY 2-3 MONTHS.

which can only be " initiated by her ". ONLY. if he tries to be romantic,
she catches an atttiude and tells him TO GET OFF OF HER, DON'T TOUCH ME. sometimes, she will push/knock his hands off of her.

worse, even go as far as, wiping such as a little kiss off of herself too.
at first, i was pissed off by what you said to ( walkerc3 ). but, i caught myself before putting up a comment. in some way, i see your point.

but, they apparently get along and love each other too.
my opinion, ( is very mix on this ). there are erection creams on the market, he can use un-noticed by her, to put her in the mood.

he can tell her, it's just a lube. when actually, it's a clit stimulator.
also, there are a few other things to put a woman in the mood too.
nonthing harmful or dangerous.

there was maybe, one or two things i saw for men. one was to :

stay hard.

another was to :

have intense orgasm's.

another to :

( can't remember exactly ) but,

to have a good/better sex drive.



@ walkerc3. how long has this been going on ?. try all your options first.
before walking away, try to do your best. but, if there is no improvement, then i think ( coffeeman ) probably is right.

i know, there are two people's feelings involved here. but, why should one suffer as the other is somewhat ( complacent ) about her situation.

just a thought. anyone OBJECTS to this ?. lets here it.

thanks.

 

After reading through the threads, I feel sorry for people trapped in a loveless relationship. Although my situation is not ideal, I consider myself vastly more fortunate than some of the people that whose tales of woo have been recounted here. My situation is this, up until my wife went through the change, if I wasn't chasing her around the bedroom, kitchen, dining room, she was chasing me. However, after menopause, her libido dropped drastically, to the point where she has little sex drive any more. The difference though is, because she knows how important sex is to me we still make love about twice a week, wish it were more, but there it is. The main difference is that with these other people it's all about them and damn their partners, if they really loved the other member of the relationship they would see to the needs of that person regardless of how they feel, that's what LOVE is.

 

I am getting concerned that I am losing my sex drive. It is rare anymore that I want to have sex more than three times a day.....

 

I know exactly how that feels, I'm 26, I've been in a relationship for 7 years and have sex around 4-5 times a year, if I'm lucky it's not that we don't love each other, its just that since going onto the pill (for health reasons) her libido has dropped through the floor. Every time I bring it up I'm made to feel like a jerk for mentioning it too (this includes suggesting she swaps pills).

If I didn't care about her I wouldn't be here, but Christ its frustrating

 

4-5 times a year, lol do that most weekends

 

One Welshman to another then... You bastard

 

lol :awesome:

 

Low sex drive has nothing to do with being unloved. It is hormonal and may need a boost. If you both see it as a problem, try to get medical advice and see if there is a medication or drug to increase her sex drive.

I know, for men, celery helps, and so do meds like Viagra, as for women, I understand that chocolate is a goodie. As for oyster, I have heard, but don't know! (I don't care for oysters myself.)

And follow through with the fantasy - it might do wonders.

 

As a medical professional, It sounds like it could be depression (don't everyone throw rotten tomatoes at once). Since you saw the doctor who said it's a hormonal issue, it could also be a brain chemistry issue.

Go back to the doc and ask for a referral to either a psychiatrist or counselor or a sex therapist. Many of these problems can be helped with meds.

If it is depression, she might want to try exercise. Studies have shown that exercise is as effective at elevating mood as medications. Nothing like a natural endorphin high!

Hope you find an answer.

 

Definately see a doctor and counselor if needed. Speaking a a 40 something year old Diabetic with a 40 something year old diabetic wife. The meds you are on (or not on) can have a HUGE impact on your sex drive.

 

(I am not trying to sound like a dick so please don't take it that way. As said so elegantly earlier, 'please don't throw tomatoes' this direction either.)

Try physical activity, together, out doors in moderate sun. A walk after work? Quality time and moderate physical activity, both would help physically and emotionally.

Doctors, pills and shit like that don't fix the problems, they tweak symptoms.

The human body is a system, when it is out of balance it suffers in lots of different ways. When someone is physically active the body produces endorphins and testosterone, in both males and females. Endorphins increase your positive mood because they help you feel better (read more 'mojo'). Testosterone basically helps increase energy, both physical and sexual.

Being in the sun helps metabolize and produce different vitamins that help your health too.

Sit at your computer for a month, in a dark room and you start to feel pretty crappy about life. Go to the gym (and actually do something) for a week and you will feel much better (as long as you don't over-do and hurt yourself).

I'm personally not a fan of doctors and hospitals. They get paid for 'treating' you, not 'curing' you. The longer you are under their care the more money they make. Their incentive system is not to 'fix you'.

You need to do that yourself.

 

My husband has lost his sex drive since he reached 50, he is 13 years older than me, but I have met other men older than him that are still very horny.

Now I enjoy meeting younger guys that can have sex 2 and 3 times in a row,
it makes me feel so much better when I am with them, and I like to do anything that pleases them.

The amount of cum is also wonderful, and to feel it shooting inside my pussy, and over my face is amazing, i wish I had started this many years ago.

Sandra. XXXXX

 

@ walkerc3

i believe i can help you with your situation. to not only help her, but to help you too.

talk to you later.

c-ya.

 

Pretty much all the help you need is posted above, so I'll cover a related issue

Make sure to avoid causing her any confidence issues, if she doesn't want to take medicine, it could be because she feels it would insinuate something is wrong with her. Make sure that, throughout this, you remain loving and affectionate, and not too insistent.

I apologise if that seemed obvious or insinuated that you wouldn't do it normally, but among talk of bioloical or psychological issues, simple affection is often left out. The craving for sex can destroy a relationship just as easily as a lack of sex.