Yep. Identical. I don't know if we're in the minority in this situation but it sure seems common. Might even be the majority for people in that (and my) age group. Men seem wired to be horny longer in life than women. But I don't think this is "natural"; I think it's a product of a modern society in which, thanks to medical advances, people now far outlive the lifespan needed to perpetuate the species. In caveman days, the average lifespan was something like 30 years. You had your kids when you were 12 or 13, raised them, and got trampled by a woolly mammoth by the time you were 30. You didn't have sufficient time on the earth to experience the diversion of male and female libido that comes with age. Why it happens is anyone's guess, and that's my theory. But I do believe it's a problem whose seriousness goes far beyond your and my frustrations that are only partly mitigated by masturbation.

For a thousand different reasons, people just aren't getting enough sex. It's unfortunate that there are so many societal taboos against more free exchange of sexual favors. If everyone got laid every couple days or so, and was thereby made to feel appreciated for doing something to make someone else feel good for the pure fun and relaxation of it, I think there'd be a lot less tension in the world. We wouldn't get so hung up on ridiculous political and social issues that cause unnecessary strife. If you're too horny you can't focus on the really important stuff. If you've recently been sexually satisfied, it's a lot easier to concentrate on and creatively solve the world's real problems.

 

Not only did you make me laugh but you make a good point as well. Thank you!:rose:

 

my wife used to tell me shed never turn me down for sex. married now seven years and have two kids and my sex life is pretty much non existant. even when thevrare time comes she talks about the kids ect while im making moves. wtf. i prolly have sex four times a year now. not really cool, i think she just isnt into it anymore. goes to bed early while i masterbate. kinda stinks as im pretty sure i can go out and get my fair share. i feel for you man.

 

yeah. I gotta say that's a big factor in why hubby and I decided not to have kids. They fuck up the sex life SO MUCH! Don't get me wrong, there are other reasons too. But I know sooooooo many married couples where the husband "blames" (I use the term loosely) the children for the death of their sex life. After possibly working all day, the wife cooks and cleans and helps with homework, does the laundry, dishes, tucks the kids in and just doesn't feel sexual, attractive, or energetic when it's finally time to settle into bed.

Even the ones we know who are new parents... she's worried the kid will "hear them" or the crib is in the bedroom and the wife is like self conscious about having sex with the kid in the room.

But I think when you get to the older couples "the change" is a big factor. Women's bodies go through so much at that time and doctors prescribe hormones to "help" with it, which I think just leads to issues with the sex drive. I, for one, have virtually no sex drive on the pill. Without it, I have a rather high one. Something I've always attributed to the fact that I have PCOS which leads to higher levels of testosterone. But the pill is just a hormonal stabalizer. They pump me full of girly hormones and my need for sex flies out the window. When a woman's system goes through "the change" what do doctors do? Put her on estrogen to offset the fact her body isn't producing as much on its own. And I think that just crushes their sex drives.

But can't really blame women for taking it. Without those hormones, they're more likely to grow more facial and body hair and have other issues... and lets face it, who cares how high your sex drive is if your husband is grossed out by the new beard you're sporting. lol

 

This came on when I put my playlist on random today. This thread was the first thing to come to my mind. lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTB7Rm4_M1c

 

send her over to my house...i'd fuck her senseless...much to her enjoyment and mine!!

 

We don't communitcate the same way. I recently had a "talk" with my wife... I had finally had enough rubbing, carressing, hinting, waiting, and flat out asking. I finally asked what was going on. She said we just seem to be on a different timeline...when you want it i don't and when i want it you dont. I said "when you want it? when was that?!" "the other night when i rolled towards you." Ok so 2 months of me trying almost everynight and i missed her rolling towards me as a sign.

She was serious too, she doesn't like to intiate i know... but in her mind she believed she went out of her way to ask for sex and I rejected her.

I myself have come to the point where i find it too much rejection, so will try to have sex with her, but if i get no response, i masterbate right there and go to sleep. Now that is a signal she wont miss.

Been with her for 10 years, we have sex about once a month maybe less.

 

Scientists have discovered a certain food that will kill 95% of a womans sex drive ---- it's called WEDDING CAKE!!!

 

As soon as a woman reaches menopuase her sex drive just about comes to a halt.

 

same thing here. its enough to drive me insane. whats funny about it she will say she wants more children and i'm like "how are you going to do that if you dont want to have sex?" crazy

 

I've been with my girlfriend for over 5 years and our sex lives have run the gamut from 5+ orgasms a day to weeks without sex.

Her job for the past year or so has been as a nanny for up to 4 kids at a time. I noticed that made a big dent in our sex lives, which I can understand. She has to completely desexualize herself when she's around the kids.

If she ever stopped wanting it entirely though, I think she would let me have sex with other women.

 

If I ever stopped wanting it entirely, I'd let my partner have sex with other women.

I see it as being fair.

 

Yeah but not everyone is as awesome as you!

I see it as fair as well, if you have absolutely no desire for it but your partner really does, and you're secure in your relationship, I think it would be worth seriously considering at least.

 

Wow, this thread is really what I have been looking for.

I go out of thew way everyday to make my wife feel comfortable about herself and happy. I constantly remind her how much she means to me and how I find her attractive, because after her sex drive started to dive I thought that if she was well cared for she would open up again. Man was I wrong. Now I feel she has gotten used to being pampered so much that she has become ungrateful.

Just recently I had welcomed her home with a bouquet of flowers and romantic dinner. Afterward I led her to a bedroom lit by candlelight and covered with real rose petals, and air filled with her favorite scents. I blindfolded her as I stripped her and gave her an oil massage as she laid on the bed of rose petals. I also ran the velvet-like petals over her body and put in a few kisses on her body. She seemed to enjoy it. When I took the blindfold off, she sat up (beautiful bust before me) said how she was enjoying the night as she began to dress herself in her pajamas! I asked what she was doing, and turns out she was going to bed... She was happy as could be, but apparently could not spare a single kiss or touch of attention in return, and certainly no sex.

I am sure many women out there would have enjoyed to have been treated to such a romantic night, especially when it was a completely random surprise, but apparently my wife isn't one of them.

As many of the other men who have posted, I have begun giving up hinting, pampering, and flat out asking my wife for any kind of physical intimacy of ANY kind. Because it is met with rejection and not only that, but not even gratefulness for putting myself out there for her. I also joined this community to get some support and relief from the tension that I hold as many previous posters put.

Sorry for such a long and ranting post, but I would like to say thank you to the other members of the xnxx community for having an open mind and being there for support on many different issues and for many different people.

 

Also....

She likes it when I (regularly) give her oral sex or finger her, but if I mention that she could possibly return the favor, she tells me that I can masturbate. She regularly tells me its OK for me to pleasure myself instead of her doing anything for me, but let me tell you, masturbating is no longer an enjoyable experience when all I think about while I do it, is that it is not just an activity for myself anymore, but because she doesn't want to soil her hands giving me a hand-job, not in the mood for sex, or feels dirty giving me oral, and doesn't think that being physical aka, holding her at any time, fondling her, is something that needs to happen often.

to the OP: I feel you, and if you learn anything about getting your wife to return some physical intimacy let me know.

 

More help for sexless marriage

The Experience Project has a long-standing group thread on this topic that seems to be helpful to many:

http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/332

 

Great thread guys. At 40, sex between the wife and I is nonexistent. Had a decent sex life until a couple of years ago, when things started to really taper off. We still love each other and I have no intentions of cheating... I'd sooner kill myself than hurt her like that.

That being said, thank goodness for this site. I love porn and masturbate all the time when home alone. Makes for a good fantasy life, too. I suppose it's still a form of cheating, but I am after all only a human male with a healthy sex drive. It's one thing to fantasize about being with another woman or man (as I do all the time), but another thing to act on it.

Still, I miss the sex, and get a bit sad to think masturbation may be it for me from here on out. Guess there are bigger tragedies in life, though, huh?

 

Many of the guys that truly care about their situation like this, including me, is because we show more love through physical intimacy, its not just a fuck, it is legitimate caring and compassion through intimacy. Although our wives may not feel the same way.

Whenever I look around for how couples get through to one another you always find the horrible men who go off on a cheating rampage or pay for their own satisfaction, and it is always this story that many women get to hear. Yes, I do look at porn. Yes, I do masturbate and post in an adult forum, but it does not make me a serious "sex addict" etc.

Porn can be a healthy form of release if it is not strewn from context, and the women I see are never compared to my wife. I always think of only my wife, the porn is just a way of helping me have a glimpse of that intimacy that I once shared with my wife, but many women think that if a man goes to porn after he is rejected, he will become one of the horror stories they have heard of. This is often not the case. And no my wife doesn't know about my online activities, but it helps me get through the lack of intimacy in a good way. I wish I could look into her mind and see what I could do to help. It always seems like a never ending cycle of trying to remedy the situation, try something new, rejection, repeat. I love my wife very much and can only hope she always feels the same.

Thanks XNXX community

 

I feel so bad for the men on here who's wives won't even give them a pity fuck. Myself, I truly don't understand it, I've got a higher sex drive then any man I've ever met, so I don't see how the women can truly have no interest in it.
In the past, I've had BF's that kick me to the couch for a few months at a time because they don't want to have sex with me. Normally I'm very shy about initiating sex because of this, even with a totally different man I can hear the voice of an ex in my head telling me that it's wrong to want to have sex.
Also had an interesting time with my husband when we first got together, he'd been trained by his ex's that all women dislike sex, and he truly thought I was lying when I said I wanted it...ALL the time.
After about 3 weeks of no sex whatsoever, I had to screw up my courage and ask him why we went from having sex once, the first time, to nothing.
Turns out because I wasn't telling him in open words that I wanted to fuck, he was just taking care of business and trying to let me be, to make me happy.
Once he understood, we haven't had a problem since, other then sometimes he doesn't want to, which is understandable.
It's difficult for both of us at times, because he tends to assume that I won't want it, and I have a hard time asking for it, but we usually manage to stumble along.

 

~Knoxvillainswife

See it is this kind of openness, a kind of give and take that would be good to experience. I have gotten to the point where I give, give, give, give and give some more and she loves it. But asking for so much as a back-rub in return is too much physical contact. Makes me feel unwanted.

As for always hearing that little voice, I know how you feel. I hear it every time I so much as reach for her hand, just from the constant rejection of any form of physical intimacy