To give some back story, I was engaged to my girlfriend for a year but she recently died in a very bad car accident. Her sister has been helping me through a lot of the rough emotional feelings ive had. Well anyway the other night we had sex. Should I feel bad about having sex with my dead fiance's sister? Please be serious, no stupid Oh Yeah's or Booom Shacka Lackas!

 

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Only if she wasn't willing. If it was just you were both emotional and found comfort with each other and thats the form it took, then no, neither of you did anything wrong.

 

Well she came over the other night to help me clean out her sisters things. We took a break and started watching a movie. One thing led to another and we just started making out. By the end of the movie we were going at it. She didnt complain or anything. I just feel sick to my stomach because I still miss her so much. I feel like im trying to replace her but it still just doesnt seem right.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss hun, it's unimaginable to even consider what you have been through.

I think what happened with you and your fiancees sister, is quite normal, it happens a lot from what i have heard, you are two people whose lives have been ripped apart, and you both feel that pain so have something in common and are there to console each other. Personally i would take it as a one off spur of the moment thing, and wouldnt pursue it cos it could end up with a lot of hurt and resentment, i know a couple in real life who unexpectedly lost her hubby/his brother and these two married a year later and are still married 13 years on. Did you feel any attraction towards the sister before the tragedy happened?

 

Thats the weird thing. I use to think she was a complete and utter bitch. She has really become so much more sweet and sensitive now that her sister is gone. We havent talked since the other night and im not really sure if I should. I dont wanna make things hard on her parents. They think of me as a son. I just dont want them to think that im betraying the love of their dead daughter.

 

Take your time with the grieving process and talk to the " Sis inlaw" and see what she wants. She wont be able to take her sisters place. Be open with her.

 

Im afraid that no one can take her place. That every relationship from here on out will just be meaningless. I guess that a normal feeling when you are feeling empty inside.

 

My sincerest condolences, I wish you the best of luck

 

yes thank you

 

no but you might want to ask qhere it is going remember she has lost her sister

 

Fret not

It happens a lot. You've both lost someone close and grown close while mourning for her. Those are deep emotions can really bond two people together. They're deep emotions and something not everyone can sympathize/empathize with. It's totally normal. Happens a lot with fallen soldier families as well. Hubby dies, wife gets close to his brother. You probably see a lot of your girlfriend in her sister, as well.

A word of caution: Take it S L O W! Part of this is that common bond. Part of this is attraction (both to her and your lost fiance) and part of this is rebounding. Try to keep your head about things and make sure you're in it for the right reasons. Don't be with her just because she's SOMEONE and not the someone you WANT to be with. The worst thing for both of you is for this to go south and you lose not only the romantic relationship but more importantly, the support system you've built between each other.

most importantly, TALK to each other. a LOT. about how you're feeling. your concerns with the relationship, etc. It'll be hard but be totally open about your feelings and any concerns or reservations. You both need to monitor the progress of this thing and keep your wits about you so it doesn't turn sour and really fuck shit up.

Best of luck! I'm sorry for your loss!

 

Sorry for the lose. What you speak of is quite common and should not be exploited, because you are both experiencing an emotional closeness, resulting from a horric tragedy. People in her family and your may not understand it, so it should not be a Sunday dinner topic of discussion.

 

I see no reason why you should feel bad about making love to your dead woman's sister. You didn't force it on her and from where I sit it seem like it was a natural happening.


I say the two of you should go ahead with your lives and not worry about your actions.

 

As everyone else has stated there's no need to feel bad. I'm sure you're well aware she's hurting at least as much as you finding comfort in each other is no bad thing.

That said don't expect it to lead to a relationship there's a real chance nothing more will happen between you.

I think you're right to keep it from the parents.

 

As Telem & Snoochies mentioned, it is very common. My husband knows a couple that had this happen over 30 years ago and they're still together, raised a family and have grandchildren.

Tina :rose: