Well, tonight, I'm kinda anoyed. My mom and I got into a fight (what 18 year old dosnt fight with her mom?) but the thing about my mom is... I really dont like her. And tonight I found out why, I was siting there telling her about how the guy at the gas station was hitting on me, then she looked shocked and said " you know he probably wasn't, he was just being nice" and I felt this pain. Not a new feeling, but one I have felt everyday of my life. I realized, looking back, my mom has never once told me I look good, she actually literally threw slim fast at me and said I need to lose weight with her. Then as it dawned on me, I realized that is why I look in the mirror and hate who's looking back. Idk what to think. I know though, I am done with not liking who I see. Yes, maybe I need to lose a few pounds, and I want to die my hair, but the thing that's changing, no more put downs. No more not being happy with my self. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. And damn me to hell if I let my mom stop me. Any other girls out there who feel the same?

 

wow...your mom sounds like...well to be honest she sounds like bitch...

 

Haha cuz she is. You wanna hear the long lists of horabul things she has said to me?

 

Not a girl but one thing I will tell you is you need to stop letting people affect you like that. Having a backlash where you stop taking care of yourself or are all defensive because "I'm done feeling bad about myself" is just as bad as the other way around, and is still letting people get to you.

You'll get there though I'm sure

 

Haha, that's not what I mean at all, I will never stop taking care of my body. Showers every day, fruits and veggies, all that jazz. I mean I won't look at myself anymore and say, hell I'm ugly.

 

Suki, I too was raised by a mother who was mentally abusive. That is what they call it, BTW, when a parent tears you down instead of building you up. It is almost worst than physical abuse because there are no visible scars or marks so no one knows it is happening.

I can tell you that once you get out on your own you will be able to start getting past it, and it doesn't have to mess you up for life. For me, I had a little voice in my head that used to tear me down whenever I did something wrong. Eventually I realized it was my mother's voice, and I learned to recognize and ignore it since it was not helpful at all.

I wish you all the best in the world!

 

I can sympathize, everyone in my life when I was younger was very vocal about the fact that I needed to lose wieght, change the way I act, even talk, and sometimes think.

Too this day it affects the way I think and react, even though I've changed so much sometimes I don't even recognize myself.

The worst part is when a complete stranger gives you a compliment, because instantly you're searching for the sarcasm in his voice, and remembering all the horrible things that have been said to you.

I wish people would think before they speak, pause to and take a moment to wonder...who is this person? Is she happy? Does she deserve to have my opinion shoved at her?
Just because they are unhappy with a way of life, doesn't mean we have to be. I think the worst part with parents doing it...is because to us, as children, they are the epitome of what we should strive to be. I always found my mother beautiful, and men like my father appeal to me. Both of them hated themselves, and I suffered for it.

 

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This picture... is hilarious. A perfect "fuck it!" moment.

 

parents think they have the right to do and say anything to make their children have better life according to their point of view .. actually they don't mean to tear them down
try to talk with her and tell her how bad effect she's making .. u should be more proud of ur look and ur body ... don't let anyone tear u down

 

My birth-mother and yours sound identical. Mine was always telling me I was worthless, I was ugly, I was stupid. I bought into her bullshit for a long time until my husband saw how she treated me and snapped me out of it. I look near identical to her so when she said I was ugly, she was insulting herself, I finished high school.. she never did. My marriage has lasted twice as long as her first one did. I have kept her out of my life the best I can for many years, I just grew tired of her emotional abuse.

Don't let her negativity get to you, find your own self-worth and never let anyone tear you down. If you want to change your appearance then do it for you, not for some petty, miserable wench who is a bully.

 

um ok. . .

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/dye

People who can't do will always tell you you can't do it because if you are successful it proves them inadequate.

You are 18, if you don't like your body and your life and you . . . do something about it. The sooner you change for the better they easier it is. Here's a flash of brilliance for you 'the longer you wait, the longer you get to sit on your ass and hate the way things are going'. And the longer you sit doing nothing the more inertia you build.

Step 1: look at your life and ask 'do I not like where I am'?

a) get off your ass and change it
or
b) do nothing, and complain about it tomorrow and die old and having done nothing with your life.

Step 2) repeat 'step 1' until you are happy with your life.
Insanity is doing the same thing that doesn't work over and over again and expecting a different result the next time. There are lots of insane people in the world.

 

Parents...

I also used to be an "opponent" of my parents...

I cannot tell what made you wait until 18 - I've started it since 14

Anyway, now myself being a parent I can only say there is a VERY big difference between generations...

This is, in fact, where the conflict comes from.

BUT - even if I am not a poor man now, there is, in the history of my family a piece of advise of my mother that I didn't listen - if I did listen and "obey", today I would have had to deal with lots of millions of Euros in my personal account!...

There is one thing we should all keep in our minds - the ONLY people who care and feel responsible for us, no matter what, ARE the parents (the exceptions exist - this is also, sadly, true).

But, we also have to keep in mind that MEANING good does not neccessarely imply that the deed is well done...

 

Parents want their children to group up happy ... and live good lives. It rarely if ever is easy.
I've read your statement and see negative thoughts about yourself .... changes you want to make to YOU.
If your not happy with you life ... CHANGE IT ... don't blame someone else.
It sounds like someone liked you the way you are ... physically ... which seems to be an issue.

Take charge ... :rose: