The Czech is in the male

There was once a very rich lawyer who owned a large house up in
Washington state. Every summer, he would have a friend come by
for a visit, and this year, he chose a fellow lawyer from the
Czech Republic.

The were having a great time. Every day, they would wake up
early and collect berries for their breakfast, then they would
compare cases they'd worked on, then they might take a walk in
the woods or play a round of golf. But, one day, as they were
picking berries, a male bear and female bear came by. The male
said to his wife "I think the one on the left looks really
tasty." So, he gobbled up the Czech lawyer whole.

The other lawyer ran to his house and phoned Animal Control and
told them to come over to shoot a bear that had eaten his
friend. They cmae as fast as they could, and the frantic lawyer
told them everything.

"My friend had flown in from the Czech Republic, and he was just
staying here with me, and we were picking berries, when these
bears came by and one of them ate him!"

"Okay, just calm down sir, which bear was it?" asked one of the
Animal Control specialists. "The boy bear!" screamed the lawyer.

So, the specialist took aim, and shot the female bear dead.

"What are you doing? I told you that it was the male bear!"
asked the lawyer.

The Animal Control specialist looked at the lawyer and said
"Yeah, who ever trusts a lawyer when they say the Czech is in
the male?"

 

View attachment ​

 

I think that, if you put the punchline as the title, some of the impact is lost.

 

Your a real downer.

 

^You're.

 

What does that mean?

 

That his mastery of the English language is greater than yours.

 

It means "you're" is a contraction of "You are" which isn't the same as "your".

My public school education has limitations but I did learn a few things. :excited:

Tina :rose:

 

Fistbump. It's been a while.

 

^You're. Up arrow You're for up arrow you are. This is an example of good English?

It make no sense.

how up ^yours? or Up yours?

 

​

 

Maybe gay )

 

That's actually not an 'up arrow'. That's called a circumflex.

However, you are partially correct in my usage. What I've done, y'see, is use what's called 'forum convention', where a circumfelx followed by a word, in conjuction with a quoted post, means 'this is a correction'.

'...you fuckwit' is optional.

 

You remind me of an English teacher who sends back a love note with corrections.

 

A little guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a really hot blond. The bartender walks up and ask what he'd like to drink. "I'll have five shots of tequila and a 40oz beer." he asks. Almost as fast as the bartender can get his drinks he shoots them down and chugs his beer. Feeling pretty good, he leans over to the blond sitting next to him. "Hey cutie, you know I'd really like to see your tits." He mumbles. "Listen buddy, do you see that big body builder down at the end of the bar? He's my boyfriend and if you don't watch what you say, I'm going to tell him what you said" she warns. Not fazed, he orders five more shots of tequila and another 40oz beer, and drinks them down as fast as he can get them. Feeling a little more drunk, he leans over to the blond again. "Hey baby, on second thought, I'd really like to suck on your tits." he slurs. "Hey dickhead, I told you the first time, if you don't watch it, I'm going to have my boyfriend kick your ass!" He shrugs his shoulders and orders one more round. After polishing off the shots, he leans over for the third time and holding his big beer, whispers in her ear "Hey sexy, I'd really like to stand you on your head, fill your pussy with this beer and drink it all down." "That's it. You're dead buddy." She gets up and walks over to her boyfriend. "Do you know what that guy down at the end of the bar has been saying to me? First he said he wanted to see my tits!" The blond's boyfriend starts to roll up his left sleeve. "Then he said he wanted to suck on my tits!" The boyfriend starts to roll up his right sleeve. "And to top if off, he said he wanted to stand me on my head, fill my pussy full of beer, then drink it!!" The boyfriend starts to roll down both sleeves. "Hey, what are you doing? You're going to let him get away with this?" She asks.
He responds "Look honey, I'm not going to mess with anybody who can drink that much beer!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A bloke walks into a pizza joint that just so happened to be owned by a Tibetan monk. Thinking he'd be a funny guy, he looked at the 'holy-man' and said "Make me one with everything". The monk smiled and "That will be £8.00". Laughing to himself, the man hands over £10.00. Again the monk grins and says "Thank you, it will be ready in 20 minutes". Bewildered, the man asks "Where's my change?". The monk somberly answers "Change must come from within."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Very funny one.

 

Not in this case...

View attachment


​