I feel short changed in my relationship. I always have to make the first move, I always have to ask to do anything specifically going down on her. To which she will decline. (even though she tells me I'm very very good at it) Touching the warmth of her pussy is absolutely electrifying. I tell her religiously how amazing she is and how her body is perfect. I love her body so much, it doesn't feel reciprocal.

So when ever I get the chance I cop a feel. I make sure to. I feel so frustrated. With the my attempts and her denials. She is also the only woman I have ever been with so I am not the most learned man in the land when it comes to pleasing a woman, I guess that is obvious if I am reaching out to a sex forum. But I am willing to change and learn.

She once and while will tell me I look cute, which is nice and comforting. However the flirtations stop there. She never is willing to take charge, if I want oral I have to ask explicitly for it. Everything came to a head last night and I said I would like if you took charge more, told me what you want, and pressued me. She told me that for that to happen I would have to stop groping her at every turn, and let her do what she wanted.

I have tried this before I don't consider my self extremely sexual or horny all the time. But last time it felt like wandering through the god damn desert after 3 freaking weeks. I couldn't take it any more and I made the advance again, and we had sex.

So I thought maybe she doesn't feel sexy so I buy her all sorts of sexy clothes she tries them on for me once and then they go back in her closet. I go as far as to buy her come fuck me heels we have sex in them once and in the closet they go.

I have also tried making sexual advances in public areas to spice things up I am shot down so fast with a scowl and a slap of the hand.

I am at my wit's end and looking for any suggestions possible. I just want to know is this what I have to look forward to? I need passion in my life I'm just not sure of how to get it. Any thoughts welcome.

 

You are making your wife uncomfortable with everything you do, mate. The clothes, the heels, the advances, the constant groping - it sounds like you think life is like the pornos. It's not.

You're going to have to listen to her, and be attentive to her wants and needs. Right now, I'll warrant she feels like a piece of meat, constantly pawed at, dressed up, and never being 'adequate' for you. If you buy her clothes and shoes, all it says to her is that she's not good enough on her own.

 

If you stop your advances, nothing will change. You will go 2 years and she still will not want it. It's not that she does not feel sexy or hot or any of that shit. She is just tired of you and forgot what she has.

You want her to fuck you when you want? There is only 1 way. Tell her that you need to get fucked regularly. If she can not handle that part, then you will need to go get it elsehwere, make it clear that you love her and sex does not neccessarily need to have feelings, so with her permission (so that she is not pestured anymore) you want an open relationship. If she says no, tell her you are simply notifying her and her permission is no longer needed. Give her 24 hours to make a decission, then do not bluf, go look for a chick.
Withholding sex is a form of abuse.

 

I'm not expecting porn style sex, but my expectations were that our sex lives effectively stop after college. I adore her and she has her own set of personal acceptance issues. Which is why I tried the clothes & the heels. I don't get how you are supposed to show some one affection with out touching/kissing them. I'll give you the piece of meat comment though. Which is understandable. However the wait is bullshit. Months & weeks for that matter with out sex is a weird version of torture. And honestly not fair to me.

 

its not her its you

dont get offended or think im attacking you when im saying this but its not her its you. you give her EVERYTHING your too NICE too her your NO CHALLANGE so of course she doesnt want you she already has you, what you need to do is man up, start treating her like a WOMAN not a goddess and let her know whos in charge persist BEYOND her barriers make her feel like your SLUT don't rape her or anything if she really doesnt want to have sex with you then forget it, but you need to be aggressive, manly, alpha, and dominant. not wimpy, begging for her to fuck you, too nice, beta. good luck bro, try incorporating some dirty names for her next, and if you ever fuck her again

 

A couple of possibilities:

She may have been raped. This could have changed her libido and reaction to you. If this is the case she needs counseling.

She may be going through a "dry spell" in the mood department. Time and patience should solve this problem.

She may have lost interest in you. People grow apart sometimes. If that's the case counseling may help but the more likely solution is seperation and moving on.

She may be having an affair. This is similar to above but moving on becomes more likely.

Talk to her about things.

 

Good news

Essentially went home and cut off all emotional ties. She became very concerned after talking about my actions and explaining that what I do is how I am my affection and love for her, she was very understanding and very receptive. She decided that she would rather fix the issue and be more out going and affectionate towards me.

Afterwards we had phenomenal sex, but she understands where I'm coming from even though she thinks it's a bit needy. She is willing to work with me and everything is looking up.

As far as the no challenge thing there is some validity to that argument. Rather than forcing her though just ignoring her seems to work very well especially when she is trying to get my sexual attention. I never knew it would be so hard to pretend I am watching TV.

For the rape, cheating, interest, all are definite no answers. Our relationship is pretty freaking impervious to these. I don't need to explain them all but we have only ever slept with each other. I have seen her kiss an other girl, but that's about as far as ever we have strayed from each other. Dry spell maybe but things are looking up now so all is good.

/cheers

To all who voiced input thanks.